Bad Day in White Rock

 

The little boy was very excited.  Finally it was Saturday!  He leaped out of his bed and went to the worn and battered dresser next to his bed to look again at the simple invitation carefully placed on top.

You are cordially invited to attend a party at Freddie Henschels house, Saturday November 10 at 3:00 p.m.

He still couldnt believe his good luck!  After all Freddie regularly beat him up after school.

Maybe this is his way of making up, he thought to himself, Freddie is kind of quick tempered.  And its probably my fault for irritating him.  I guess I should act more normal if I want the guys to like me.

Still, it was strange the invitation did not have his name on it.  It didnt even have a stamp.  Doubts began to rise.  Perhaps it was a mistake.  Perhaps it was meant for someone else.  Perhaps he wasnt invited.

The boy shook his head.  No.  I wont think about that now.

The little boy did want to ask his mother how the tiny invitation arrived.  When she gave it to him he had been so excited that he hadn't thought to ask her about it then.  But that would have to wait until this evening.  She was always easier to be around in the evening.  But no point in thinking about that now, he thought to himself, he had to pick out what he was going to wear.

The boy checked himself carefully in the dingy mirror above his dresser.  Hair, neatly combed.  Teeth, properly scrubbed.  But those jeans!  He worriedly checked them again.

The knee patch doesnt look too bad, he said mournfully, if only it was the same color.

Well, it would have to do.  At least this pair was mended.  Okay.  All set.  He grabbed a small package with a crooked bow on top and quietly made his way out to the front room.  As he reached the front door, he heard a rasping sound from behind.

Momma?

The boy turned and walked over to the dirty sofa and gently laid his hand on his mothers cheek as she lay softly snoring.

Momma?  he asked again softly, Are you awake?

He waited a little while before he reached and pick up an old patchwork quilt and gently wrapped his mother up.  He looked over at the faded and chipped coffee table and counted two sets of glasses with two empty bottles.  He picked up a third bottle and sniffed.

Ewww!  Yuck. he snorted, How can they drink this stuff?

The boy shook his head.  He would have to ask his mother about it sometime.  But not now.  He quietly crept over to the front door, and slipped out into the bright sunshine.

Fortunately Freddie only lived a few miles away, so it should only take a couple of hours to walk over.  He thought of running, that would cut his time down by at least half, but he decided against it.  He didnt want to risk damaging the gift.

The little boy smiled inwardly at his own cleverness about his choice of presents for Freddie.  Matching miniature Convertibles.  One red, the other black and both with a gold eagle on the hood.  He had to use the last of his Christmas money to buy them, but it would be worth it when he saw Freddies face.  When Freddie opened the gift, and saw how valuable it was, it would surely change Freddies attitude toward him.  The little boy would have a friend at last.

The boy thought of the kids who would be at Freddies birthday party, the games they would all play together and how he could finally be a part of their fun.  He felt a warm glow in anticipation.  It would be the best day of his short life.  At that thought he walked even faster.

When he arrived at Freddies house, the front door was open, so he stuck his small head inside and carefully peered around.  No one was in sight.  He quietly walked in.  He stopped suddenly and his eyes widened in awe.  What he had found was more than he had ever imagined.

Wow. he breathed in wonder, Look at the size of that cake.

He reached out to some of the nearby brightly colored decorations and streamers, as if by simply touching them their beauty would envelope him and erase all his shortcomings.  The little boy felt joyful, as if joy were a warm blanket surrounding him and protecting him.  Somewhere deep inside, he knew he belonged here among the love and warmth of this house and all its delights.  He had given his best to Freddie and he knew it would be enough.  Freddie would smile at the boy with a simple nod of approval and they would be friends forever.  It was all the little boy ever hoped for.

The little boys thoughts were interrupted when a chubby boy with chocolate smeared around his mouth marched up to him.

Hey!  What are you doing here? he bellowed.  Youre not invited!

Before the boy could answer, Freddie grabbed the gift out of his small hands.

Whats this? he demanded as he tore apart the grubby gift wrapping, Oh racy cars, huh.  Big deal.  Ive got tons of them and theyre better than this piece of crap. he said dropping the precious cars on to the floor.  Hey, watch this.

With that Freddie leaped up and landed on the fragile toys, crushing them.

Car wreck!  he squealed, as parts flew in every direction, I love it when that happens.  Well, I guess they dont make em like they used to.

He turned to look at the little boy.

Okay.  You can go now.

Wait a minute.  You invited me. said the little boy hurriedly.  He quickly dug in his pocket and pulled out the tiny invitation.  See?  I have an invitation and everything.

I dont care what you have. snarled Freddie as he grabbed the invitation, Besides it doesnt even have your name on it.  That shows you arent invited.  Youre nothing but a troublemaker.  You just want to ruin my party!

Freddie began pushing the smaller boy toward the front door.

Now get out and go away or Ill beat you to a pulp!

Freddie gave the little boy one last hard shove, causing him to trip over the welcome mat and fall hard on to the wet grass outside.  Freddie slammed the door shut.

The little boy lay still, too stunned to cry and too shocked to move.  His invitation; the gift; the party.  All of it gone.

Something precious, deep inside, shriveled.

No.  I cant think about what happened right now. he thought to himself, Ill ask Momma when I get home.  Shell tell what I did wrong.

He shook himself and crept over behind the bushes in front of Freddies house and huddled down.

Freddie may be able to keep me from going inside, but I can still enjoy myself right here.  I can listen to whats going on inside. he whispered.  Then the little boy brightened.  If I stay here long enough, maybe Freddie will realize what a mistake he made.  Yeah.  Then hell come and get me and I can go inside with everyone else.

Yes.  Thats it.  All  he had to do was wait here just a little while longer, he reasoned, and then then everything will be okay.  Besides it wasnt that bad sitting in the dirt by the side of the house.

Theyll be sure to come and get me.  I know it.  The little boy sighed contentedly and leaned back with his ear against the frame of the house.  Just a few more minutes and Ill be in there too.

The boy awoke with a start.  It was dark.  His legs ached from being curled up for so many hours.

Where am I? he thought.  Then memory and realization hit him.

Freddie.

The gift.

The party.  Gone.

He shivered slightly as he stood and walked to the sidewalk.  It was colder out tonight than last night.  He stood there and looked carefully at all the neat houses arranged him.  He saw the warm glow of lights in each one.  He thought of all the families and wondered what it must be like to live inside one of those houses.

It doesnt make any sense. he barely spoke above a whisper, Why?

The boy slowly shook his head.  He knew he must have done something wrong, but what?  He wished again that he was smarter.  Then it would all make sense.  He would have to ask his mother sometime.  She could tell him.

Then he stopped.

Wait a minute., he said quickly, Teds birthday is next week.  Hes sure to invite me.  Teds different from Freddie.  Hes never beat me up and he was really nice to me after he copied my homework yesterday.  If thats not being friendly, what is?

Yeah.  Thats it.  This time would be different.

With that, the little boy raced off into the thousand year night.

(edited big tex 12:37 a.m.)

Edited by - Big Tex on 16 November 2002 1:37:39

((((((Big Tex))))))  That still makes me cry, love.

Your Nina

TX--------this brought tears to my eyes. Email me please.

Jes

I don't have your email at home.  I've only got it at work.  Give me a call, if you want to, I'll be home most of this afternoon.

Chris

<=== has a catch in her throat after reading that...What a writer you are, Big Tex.

Nilfun

Thanks.  I needed to hear that.

I'm sorry, I don't get it. Its very sad. Is it a true story? a fable? is there a lesson or moral to it? Did it all just go over my head?

 

It's a fictional story.  I just posted it here.  No big deal; nothing to understand.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

I did.

Did it all just go over my head?

Yes.

I disagree.

Big Tex, that was so sad!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing that. Makes you think about the way you should treat others, doesn't it!!!!

What did it mean when it said that he raced off into the thousand year light? Did he die? I'm sorry, I didn't get that part of it. Or did it mean that he pushed forward in life? I guess I'm alittle slow this morning!

Big Tex,

That was an excellent piece of writing!  Thank you for sharing.  It always amazes me, a child's capacity for hope and self-delusion.  My son is a combination of both of those children -- he wants so badly to be liked, but acts badly like Freddie to cover up his hurt sometimes...

Tink,

I thought the thousand year's light at the end was more the young boy's walking off into the hope of paradise.  You know, that paradise we all yearned for, where people would eternally treat one another with the love, dignity and respect that each deserves.

outnfree

Tink

The entire story has JW overtones to it (the character Freddie Henschel is a combination of Fred Franz and Milton Henschel).  The main character is nameless because I wanted to express the child-like innocence of all of us when we first "come into the truth".  Jesus said we should be as children when we approach God; I wanted to show how the Witnesses twist that innocence, use our misery with the world and warp a pure desire to be with God to their advantage and how often they hurt someone innocent, even crushing their spirit, without a thought or care.  How many times have Witnesses taken something precious and crushed it?  I also wanted to show that despite being treated so badly, the main character still yearns to find a place of acceptance. 

The ending I left obscure because I wanted anyone who reads it to decide on their own what happens next.  Does he find what he's looking for, or is he fooling himself?  I believe that is where each of us are right now.  After our JW experiences we are looking for something else.  Some of us are still looking for God; some are not.  Ultimately it is up to each of us to find and prove to ourselves what we're looking for.  No one else can do that for us.  Thanks for asking.

Way cool allegory, BT. If I didn't think so already, I'd surely think so now... ... you need to get published, Son. You have real skill with the ol' pen and paper, that's for sure.

Thanks Teejay for bringing this thread back to life.

I didn't realize it was written last year, and of course, from the hand and heart of Big Tex:  not surprised.

I loved it, read it.   It's a great metaphor.   I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thanks to Big Tex for writing it, you always have a knack for exquisite expression.

It's a great story, but I didn't read anything J.W. into it.

RAZOR,

I read Big Tex's narrative of what happened early in his life, so when I read this one I wondered if it was a true story. After reading his explanation, I went back and read it again. Beautiful allegory to the experience we all had in the Organization. Brings to mind the song that my daughter will know by heart – a song that Samantha Mumba sings: "Don't Need You To Tell Me I'm Beautiful" ...

 

I don't need you to give me your strength to make me feel I'm strong.

I've got all of the strength that I need here inside my own two hands.

All that I want is your love and respect for who I am.

What I really need comes from deep inside of me.

I don't need you to believe in me to make me know I'm worth believing in.

I don't need you to lift me up high to know I can stand tall (I can stand tall).

I can stand my own ground. I can stand proud upon my own two feet.

Don't have to be part of somebody else to be complete.

What I really need comes from deep inside of me.

Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty...

..... to know I'm beautiful.

Nice job BT I hadn't read this before but while I was reading it I saw the JW stamp all over it - the lack of love, the promises that are reneged on, the need to be accepted by the R&F, the blame the victim and the always hopeful member that maybe tomorrow...

wonderful

Wow.  Dayum, look what I find on a Sunday morning. 

teejay -- thanks for reading the story.  I wrote it at the KH once while listening to a CO saying that if anyone doubts Jehovah, he does not listen to their prayers.  God views them as dead.   And that is the heart of this story.  The idea that someone can approach God through this "Spirit Directed Organization" so innocently and child-like and yet discover to their horror that their hopes and dreams of something better were never really there.  It was all an illusion.  That is the JW overtone.  However, the story can be read through other eyes as well. 

What fantastic lyrics.  I'm going to have to check this song out and download it somewhere.  This is my favourite:



All that I want is your love and respect for who I am.

What I really need comes from deep inside of me.

Way cool.  You da man teejay, don't let anyone tell you different.

Rayzorblade and kenneson -- thanks.  I'm glad you liked it.  Means a lot.  Maybe I should get some more down on paper.

 

Chris

>>>I'm going to have to check this song out and download it somewhere.

BT,

Let me know if you can't find it. I have it in mp3 format. I'll email it to you. I swear you'll love it.

Big Tex...

You write well.  You should put your talent to work and get published.   Thanks for sharing.

Double Edge