"Spiritual Endagerment As Grounds For Divorce"? Paleeez!!!

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    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 14:28:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 30 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    About to go thru with it. I've noticed my husband (w/the backing of the Brothers) trying his BEST to 'catch me' or imply inproper dealings or what whatever with the opposite sex. We had a big blow up where it resulted in his being terribly cursed out and demeaned (by me, of course and I hate doing that but it is the ONLY way to keep him at bey). I hate when he tries to incriminate me when it comes to a simple acquaintance or phone call. He so stupid, he doesn't understand that I see right thru his games. I'm tired. So, what I've noticed on several different occassions is he'll try this passive-aggressive behavior of incrimination. I see it to use the so-called grounds of 'spiritual endagerment'.

    How does this work? I know in man's law, it means absolutely nothing. I just don't want to give this stupid organization the satifaction.

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 14:31:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 31 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    Apology for the misspelling of 'Endangerment'.....

    nugget posted Fri, 06 May 2011 14:48:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 1763 of 3911
    Joined 11/22/2009

    In the organisation spiritual endangerment is I think grounds for seperation but not for divorce. The only grounds for divorce is fornication.

    spiritual endangerment would be where continuing the relationship may be harmful to the other persons spirituality. blondie may be able to provide the exact reference. Unfortuantely I binned the books so can't look it up.

    cantleave posted Fri, 06 May 2011 14:52:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 5767 of 13238
    Joined 6/25/2009

    I spiritually endangered your spirituality nugget!

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 14:57:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 32 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    I just hate the games that are played for the sake thereof. It's crazy what I go thru. And we have 2 children. One of which he is pushing for baptism at a young age. I can tell she is really stressed about it. This is another reason I am pushing for the divorce...for her sake. He would use this for the custody of our kids. Unbelievable.

    WontLeave posted Fri, 06 May 2011 15:16:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 327 of 851
    Joined 9/2/2010

    Divorce can be for any reason and a JW can still retain their good standing. They may lose "privileges", but DFing only occurs for remarriage or sex. Basically, the first one to give in to being horny loses and gets DFed.

    Morbidzbaby posted Fri, 06 May 2011 15:25:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 486 of 1644
    Joined 3/31/2009

    You need to arm yourself with a copy of the Child Custody booklet put out by the Society. Your ex will more than likely have his lawyer use the infoin it in court to make the JW's look "not crazy" and show he would be a better parent. I have it in PDF format if you want it. There is also "Responding to Child Custody booklet in court" which is a refutation of that booklet which would prove useful to your lawyer.

    Spiritual endangerment is NOT a "scriptural" reason for divorce, only of separation.

    The following is from the "Keep Yourselves in God's Love" book:

    In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else make up again.” (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.

    Willful nonsupport. A family may become destitute, lacking the basic essentials of life, because the husband fails to provide for them, although being able to do so. The Bible states: “If anyone does not provide for . . . members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. Of course, Christian elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian refuses to support his family. Refusal to care for one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.

    Extreme

    physicalabuse. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mate’s health and even life are in danger. If the abusive spouse is a Christian, congregation elders should investigate the charges. Fits of anger and a practice of violent behavior are grounds for disfellowshipping.—Galatians 5:19-21.

    Absolute

    endangermentofspirituallife. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.

    In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. While spiritually mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, they cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God or the marriage arrangement if she exaggerated the seriousness of her domestic problems just to live separately from her husband, or vice versa. Jehovah is aware of any scheming behind a separation, no matter how one may try to hide it. Indeed, “all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.” (Hebrews 4:13) But if an extremely dangerous situation persists, no one should criticize a Christian who, as a last resort, chooses to separate. In the final analysis, “we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.”—Romans 14:10-12.

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:10:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 33 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @WON'T LEAVE - Funny as hell!!! But, I believe you are correct! He's been doin' it (sex) but, won't admit it. Truth is....I don't care. Just don't try to implicate me.

    As long as he has the 'appearance' of continuing strong with meeting attendance and field service, he's good. I haven't screwed him in 6 years. Word has come back to me that he has (they just won't give me concrete evidence that he has...speaking of ones he's hung with thru the years).

    But, he says he stepped down from being an elder to pay more attention to his family...YEAH, RIGHT!!!!! WAAAAAAY TOO LATE!!! I've heard he's been privately reproved. I think it is true. He made a point that he hasn't pioneered in so long. That isn't even like him! He pioneers ALL THE TIME! So, that makes me think it is true.

    I feel he was deleted. No way would he give up the POWER of being an elder. He's always told me if ever he lost his position as an elder 'due to my foolishness' he forever resent me. Well, I see that he tries is damndest to keep me or incriminate me.

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:33:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 34 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @ MORBIDZBABY - Thanks for that. I forgot there is such a booklet thr the organization. Yes. If you have a link for a downloadable, asap, please!

    I feel badly for him because he is trying so hard to make this all my fault. I NEVER got marital or familial support from him. EVERYTHING was for this religion. I felt like in the Wild Wild West. Like I was being pulled thru the town in my dress with a noose around my neck. Being dirtied and marred along the way just because I couldn't keep up with him as 'times' changed once we had the children. I asked and begged for his help for years. I even asked that he'd step down on his own just to get on track again with the family in hopes that in time, he would be restored to his position. I got a 'death-stare' from that.

    And, well, here we are......

    sd-7 posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:33:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 1491 of 3760
    Joined 7/31/2009

    I'm going to add a fictional entry here:

    "But what if the wife decides to quit her employment without consulting her husband, resulting in some financial hardship? Nonetheless, it is still the husband's responsibility to care for his family materially to the extent possible. Both mates should strive to simplify their lives, rather than allowing a desire for more material things to occupy their time and energy. The wife may later regret ignoring her husband's headship and making the choice without him, but perhaps this provides her a valuable opportunity. She should use her free time to better care for the household and expand her ministry, thus bringing honor to Jehovah's name and procuring praise from her husbandly "owner", who will no doubt see the spiritual benefits of his wife's decisions.

    "What if, on the other hand, the wife merely chooses not to work and 'eats the bread of laziness'? (Prov. 31:27) In this case, she brings shame upon herself and her husband. She will not be looked upon with respect in the congregation. Mature sisters may seek to encourage her to work hard in the household and seek ways to praise Jehovah more fully. Thus, she may be moved to readjust her thinking and unselfishly care for the interests of her family."

    I like it. Maybe that'll be in an update someday...

    --sd-7

    sd-7 posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:35:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 1492 of 3760
    Joined 7/31/2009

    Seriously though, that's a sad situation. I hope things improve for you in time.

    Mad Sweeney posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:44:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 5277 of 6964
    Joined 11/2/2009

    itscrap&theknowit! you have a PM

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 16:56:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 35 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @ sd-7 - I see your point. But, I definitely can't relate to that.

    Anony Mous posted Fri, 06 May 2011 17:29:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 115 of 1100
    Joined 3/11/2011

    You still live together? I would go for separation and a restraining order and make up some spiritual/emotional abuse story for the company men, you can use the restraining order in your defense. You could even appear to be 'just crazy'.

    If you want to get back at him and catch him doing something fishy, hire a detective, they are skilled at it but I don't think you really care whether or not you or him gets a 'Witness-approved' divorce.

    Scully posted Fri, 06 May 2011 18:19:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 16274 of 13515
    Joined 11/2/2001

    re: your daughter - I can tell she is really stressed about it (baptism at an early age)

    Keep telling her that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't feel ready. Remind her, as often as you need to, that Jesus didn't get baptized until he was 30 years old. Besides, what is the big rush? So your husband can shun her if she makes a mistake a few years down the road and gets DFd??

    I'd also ask your husband why he is colluding with the elders to entrap you with this legally unrecognized charge of Spiritual Endangerment™? Tell him that legally he's free to leave without going through all those stupid hoops - tell him "just don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

    (puts $5 wager on the table that he's the one sneaking around with someone else)

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 19:05:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 36 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @ ANONY MOUS - I have gotten the detective. Very expensive and oooohhh!!!...the things I've found out! I only did this to show HIM, the elder body of his congreation, NY Headquarters, his family, my family and the 2 females he's been screwing. This will let everyone know that I don't care what this man does.....they care. He 'appears' to be 'brother spiritual'? Well, then, let me show you 'brother spiritual'.

    @ SCULLY - Baby, you're saying it!!! LOL!!!!

    @ OUT4GOOD 3 - He is DEFINITLY doing BOTH! He just thinks I don't hear his ass in the middle of the night (MASTERbating). LOL!!!! I'm good at what I find out!

    All your thoughts are very supportive!

    grewupjw1969 posted Fri, 06 May 2011 19:19:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 100 of 126
    Joined 12/1/2009

    @ Scully, here's $5 and I raise you $50

    @It's crap&theyknowit: I agree with Scully, get a separation and make his ass leave. The stress you encounter on a daily basis is not worth it. Peace of mind is priceless

    Grewup

    out4good3 posted Fri, 06 May 2011 19:29:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 837 of 1242
    Joined 1/13/2002

    6 years.....

    Whew!!!!

    I'm surprised he hasn't played the "marital due" card on you.

    Not that it would work based upon your postings.....

    Just saying......

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 20:04:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 37 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @ grewupjw 1969 - I'll raise you $1,000,000,000,000!!!! I know the truth! May as well go 1/2 on that money! LOL!!!!! (<<<stroke, stroke, stroke>>>)!!!

    itscrap&theyknowit! posted Fri, 06 May 2011 20:20:00 GMT(5/6/2011)

    Post 38 of 143
    Joined 2/4/2011

    @ out4good3 - LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're right!!! I didn't think about that! That's why he's so quiet and paying ALL the bills peacefully! Like my Dad said, "Ain't NO MAN gonna let you stay at his house, eat his food and not pay no bills without given up the panties!!!!" You given up something! Nope!!! I give him HELL!!!! This is what HE asked for!

    He's doin' the 'do'. I don't care! Just don't TRY YOUR DAMNDEST TO IMPLICATE ME!!!!!! Stroke the monkey, play 'spank the crack-head', WHATEVER!!!!! Just do you! He's getting off so much easier, this way. When I divorce, he'll have alimony support based on 20 years, child support of 2 kids one of which he will pay forever on due to disability AND the bills he has now.

    But, I need peace of mind from the JWS. So, I'll take alimony, child support for the next 12 years!!! (WHOOMP, WHOOMP!!!)

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