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Jesus is NOT the Messiah!?!?! More Crazy Bible Contradictions ;)

    3Mozzies posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:18:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 548 of 766
    Joined 8/22/2010

    I enjoy exposing crazy bible contradictions, enjoy the following:

    In 'Matthew 1' it introduces the genealogy of Jesus Christ, beginning with Abraham. (BTW: The genealogy contradicts that of Luke's account).

    The purpose of the genealogy may be to support claims that Jesus was the Jewish messiah, who was expected to be a direct descendant of King David.

    2 Samuel 7:12-13 When your days come to the full, and you must lie down with your forefathers, then I shall certainly raise up your seed after you, which will come out of your inward parts; and I shall indeed firmly establish his kingdom.

    As we can see the messiah will come from David’s inward parts - his seed/sperm.

    Now this requirement is not meet. Joseph is from the line of David, not Mary. As Joseph didn't use his seed/sperm to impregnate Mary.

    Matthew 1:25 But he had no intercourse with her until she gave birth to a son; and he called his name Jesus.

    So Jesus is instead a child of the Holy Spirit not from David.

    Jesus himself rejects Davidic ancestry for the Messiah in Mark 12:35-37 However, when making a reply, Jesus began to say as he taught in the temple: “How is it that the scribes say that the Christ is David’s son? By the Holy Spirit David himself said, ‘Jehovah said to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies beneath your feet.”’ David himself calls him ‘Lord,’ but how does it come that he is his son?

    Welcome to the bible my friendsit's almost as crazy as the WT$ writing department.

    3Mozzies

    TheJigsUp posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:21:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 39 of 123
    Joined 5/29/2009

    im too drunk for this crap... SPADE..... SPADE.... TELL MOZZIES THAT JESUS IS ONE OF THE GOVERNING BODY.

    M SixofNine posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:21:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 14863 of 14410
    Joined 12/17/2000

    nope. if you really dig into it, you find he was indeed not the messiah, he was just a very naughty boy.

    shepherd posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:26:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 76 of 364
    Joined 10/21/2010

    The messiah was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milkcart in the west, while the king of the north fought with the king of the south and a warning cry was heard coming out from the east. It's all in the Bible, you just need to 'interpret' a few passages.

    3Mozzies posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:32:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 549 of 766
    Joined 8/22/2010

    Looking back now, I wonder why I couldn't see such contradictions in the bible, now they stand out like sore thumbs...

    Oh yeah I know why I couldn't see them before because I was in a Mind Control Cult!!!

    3M

    cyberjesus posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 06:50:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 2199 of 3501
    Joined 9/30/2009

    Well there are many contradiction on the bible but thats "human" mistakes. That doesnt prove anything...... Jesus is in you heart.... I had a personal revelation..... I dont believe the whole bible but I follow Jesus.

    Well he is for me. whatever

    DagothUr posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 06:59:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 388 of 812
    Joined 11/1/2010

    The city I live in has a city-drunkard. One day, I saw 2 pentecostals talking with the drunkard about Jesus and his sacrifice. So one of them tells the drunkard that Jesus was placed in Mary's womb by the Holy Spirit. The drunkard's answer was awesome: "No, I think he was born from a d..ck and a p...sy, there is no other way".

    3Mozzies posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 07:03:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 550 of 766
    Joined 8/22/2010
    Well there are many contradiction on the bible but thats "human" mistakes. That doesnt prove anything...... Jesus is in you heart.... I had a personal revelation..... I dont believe the whole bible but I follow Jesus.
    Well he is for me. whatever

    lol@ cyberjesus :)

    well I don't have Jesus in my heart, he is just part of my Lego board...

    3Mozzies

    3Mozzies posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 07:06:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 551 of 766
    Joined 8/22/2010
    The drunkard's answer was awesome: "No, I think he was born from a d..ck and a p...sy, there is no other way".

    @ DagothUr that drunk wasn't drunk enough, he was still making sense . . .

    3M

    GOrwell posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 07:26:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

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    Joined 10/21/2010

    Wow.. Lego Jesus looks right pissed... strangest tongue though ;)

    VM44 posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 07:26:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

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    Joined 7/1/2001

    Literally then, Joseph is Jesus' step dad.

    Is that sufficient to fulfill Samuel's prophecy?

    M wobble posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 10:54:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 4143 of 5745
    Joined 2/20/2008

    Can't read this thread.

    M ProdigalSon posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:18:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

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    Joined 4/15/2007

    Pulled this off of yahoo (I'm lazy today)

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100510225414AAR3PfC

    Reasons Jesus wasn’t the Jewish Messiah
    divine birth/divinity - (the Jewish Messiah will be human – G-d cannot become human – Deuteronomy 6:4, Isaiah 44:6, Hosea 11:9, Ezekiel 28:2, Numbers 23:19)

    performing miracles - (JM won't perform miracles)

    taking on the sins of others - (no one can take on the sins of others – Deuteronomy 24:16, Exodus 32:30-35, Ezekiel 18:1-4; 20-24; 26-27)

    breaking Sabbath - strike (JM will be observant)

    sacrificed/rising from the dead - (G-d rejects human sacrifice and blood sacrifice is NOT an absolute requirement – Deuteronomy 12:30-31, Jeremiah 19:4-6, Psalm 106:37-38, Ezekiel 16:20, Leviticus 5:11-13, Jonah 3:10, Leviticus 17, Leviticus 5:11-13, Numbers 16:47, Numbers 31:50, Isaiah 6:6-7, Jeremiah 7:22-23, Psalm 51:16-17)

    prophecies unfilled - (JM will accomplish them in one life time)

    The Messiah cannot trace his lineage through Jehoiakim, Jeconiah, or Shealtiel, because this royal line was cursed (I Chronicles 3:15-17; Jeremiah 22:18,30). But according to both Matthew 1:11-12 and Luke 3:27, Jesus was a descendant of Shealtiel

    being worshiped - Jews worship G-d and only G-d

    G-d is not a man that he should be deceitful nor a son of man that he should relent. (Numbers 23:19)

    I will not act on My wrath, will not turn to destroy Ephraim. For I am G-d, not man, The Holy One in your midst. (Hosea 11:9)

    Moreover, the Glory of Israel does not deceive or change His mind, for He is not human that He should change His mind. (1 Samuel 15:29)

    He is not a man, like me, that I can answer him, that we can go to law together. No arbiter is between us, to lay his hand on us both. (Job 9:32-33)

    Will you still say, “I am a god” before your slayers, when you are proved a man, not a god, at the hands of those who strike you down? (Ezekiel 28:9)

    For your own sake, therefore, be most careful – since you saw no shape when the Lord your G-d spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire. (Hosea 4:15)

    For I am the Lord, I change not. (Malachi 3:6)
    (thanks to What Jews Believe and Mama P)


    * The Sanhedrin will be re-established (Isaiah 1:26)
    * Once he is King, leaders of other nations will look to him for guidance. (Isaiah 2:4)
    * The whole world will worship the One God of Israel (Isaiah 2:17)
    * He will be descended from King David (Isaiah 11:1) via King Solomon (1 Chron. 22:8-10)
    * The Moshiach will be a man of this world, an observant Jew with " fear of God " (Isaiah 11:2)
    *****In other words - this must all be accomplished in a human lifetime*****
    * Evil and tyranny will not be able to stand before his leadership (Isaiah 11:4)
    * Knowledge of God will fill the world (Isaiah 11:9)
    * He will include and attract people from all cultures and nations (Isaiah 11:10)
    * All Israelites will be returned to their homeland (Isaiah 11:12)
    * Death will be swallowed up forever (Isaiah 25:8)
    * There will be no more hunger or illness, and death will cease (Isaiah 25:8)
    * All of the dead will rise again (Isaiah 26:19)
    * The Jewish people will experience eternal joy and gladness (Isaiah 51:11)
    * He will be a messenger of peace (Isaiah 52:7)
    * Nations will end up recognizing the wrongs they did to Israel (Isaiah 52:13-53:5)
    * The peoples of the world will turn to the Jews for spiritual guidance ( Zechariah 8:23)
    * The ruined cities of Israel will be restored (Ezekiel 16:55)
    * Weapons of war will be destroyed (Ezekiel 39:9)
    * The Temple will be rebuilt (Ezekiel 40) resuming many of the suspended mitzvot
    * He will then perfect the entire world to serve God together (Zephaniah 3:9)
    * Jews will know the Torah without Study (Jeremiah 31:33)
    * He will give you all the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
    * He will take the barren land and make it abundant and fruitful (Isaiah 51:3, Amos 9:13-15, Ezekiel 36:29-30, Isaiah 11:6-9).

    DagothUr posted Fri, 04 Mar 2011 15:41:00 GMT(3/4/2011)

    Post 390 of 812
    Joined 11/1/2010

    Lego Jesus looks like John depicts him in the Apocalypse: his tongue is shaped like a Jedi-sword.

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