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Do you REALLY believe Ezekiel laid seige to a brick 390 days?

    M Terry posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:26:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 6/19/2004

    In Ezekiel the 4th chapter one of the most ludicrous passages in the bible tells us God commanded his prophet Ezekiel to lie on his left side in a mock seige against a.....brick! For how long? 390 days!

    Was that all? Nope. After that, he had to lie on his right side 40 days!

    Read the details and then tell us IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS or not and why.

    Thanks!

    1 "Now, son of man, take a clay tablet, put it in front of you and draw the city of Jerusalem on it. 2 Then lay siege to it: Erect siege works against it, build a ramp up to it, set up camps against it and put battering rams around it. 3 Then take an iron pan, place it as an iron wall between you and the city and turn your face toward it. It will be under siege, and you shall besiege it. This will be a sign to the house of Israel.

    4 "Then lie on your left side and put the sin of the house of Israel upon yourself. [a] You are to bear their sin for the number of days you lie on your side. 5 I have assigned you the same number of days as the years of their sin. So for 390 days you will bear the sin of the house of Israel.

    6 "After you have finished this, lie down again, this time on your right side, and bear the sin of the house of Judah. I have assigned you 40 days, a day for each year. 7 Turn your face toward the siege of Jerusalem and with bared arm prophesy against her. 8 I will tie you up with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have finished the days of your siege.

    9 "Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10 Weigh out twenty shekels [b] of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. 11 Also measure out a sixth of a hin [c] of water and drink it at set times. 12 Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel." 13 The LORD said, "In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them."

    designs posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:33:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Was Ezekiel the first famous Mime

    Scully posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:36:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 11/2/2001

    I think Ezekiel may have breathed in the fumes of burning human excrement and suffered brain damage.

    He may have also been poisoned by the fumes of burning human excrement which filtered into the food he was baking and eating.

    390 days plus 40 days = 430 days = 1 year, 2 months, 10 days (in Jewish calendar terms).

    I guess verse 9 is the basis for the Ezekiel bread recipe. I wonder if the health food people also bake it in an oven fired by human excrement.

    M Terry posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:54:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 6/19/2004

    This, for me, is a test for Biblical literalists and inerrantists.

    Are you willing to stand up and say with a straight face that this account is a TRUE REPRESENTATION OF ACTUAL EVENTS?

    If you are....then....well....

    we know what we are really dealing with and it is very sad.

    "It is a terrible thing to lose one's mind." (George Bush trying to say "A mind is a terrible thing to waste.")

    Dark Side posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:00:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 8/11/2005

    That crazy Jehovah. He likes to fuck with people. "Lay seige to a brick". LOL.

    Does anyone know if he posted it on YouTube?

    M Pistoff posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:08:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

    Post 2092 of 3313
    Joined 7/8/2002

    It is only a "prophetic retelling" of Ezekiel's experience with constipation after too much cheese.

    Essan posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:27:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 8/6/2010

    He was a Worshipper of Jehovah....so I'm afraid he may well have laid siege to a brick for over a year.

    Actually, the brick was discovered in a recent archaeological dig. It had an inscription on the side which said:

    "You don't have to be crazy to lay siege to a brick for 430 days because a mean old man in the sky told you to....but it helps"

    M sooner7nc posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:34:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 10/30/2007

    The hell of it is that he might have really did it. How smart is it to go shopping in downtown Tel Aviv while wearing a dynamite vest? People do dumb shit everyday in the name O' tha Lord, so it really wouldn't surprise me if he did it.

    If he did do it, can you imagine how bad his arm must have went to sleep? He probably needed the 40 days to get the feeling worked back into it.

    cantleave posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:47:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 6/25/2009

    Terry,

    Like most of the bible the whole thing is B*110x.

    brotherdan posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:49:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Why do I believe it? 2 Tim 3:16

    F AGuest posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:55:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 3/26/2001

    Hmmmm...

    "Pilgrims" crawl on bloody knees, sometime for miles... sometimes over shards of glass/pottery... to revere the Virgin Mary. And for centuries (if not millenia), zealots have been known to mutilate their bodies, including whipping themselves to a bloody pulp, in demonstration of pennance and other demonstrations of... ummmm... piety.

    Yet, a man sleeps his left side for 390 days (then for 40 on my right), while facing a model of a city under siege that he built out of a clay tile and some sticks, rocks and an iron pan...

    And so what, he cooks his barley cakes over a fire of human dung: people have done a LOT worse, dear Terry (peace to you!). Some have eaten... and currently eat... food that contains dung (albeit animal dung - I hope). Down to this day. You tell me which is worse: cooking something OVER dung... or eating something containing dung?

    Methinks you're reading WAY too much into what Ezekiel did, dear one, given the times the events took place... and trying to "excite" others to join you. Why?

    Again, peace to you!

    A slave of Christ,

    SA

    F AGuest posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 22:32:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 3/26/2001

    Sorry, I mean "on his right"...

    Peace!

    SA, a slave of Christ

    Darth plaugeis posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:17:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 3/31/2010

    CRAZY PROPHETS!!!!

    MrFreeze posted Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:31:00 GMT(8/10/2010)

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    Joined 5/29/2010

    I'm going to be honest. I don't ever remember reading it but man, what a bonkers passage.

    journey-on posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:00:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

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    Joined 2/28/2007

    Sounds similar to zen or asceticism or monasticism. Remember, Gautama Buddha sat under the bodhi tree for weeks on end.

    M thetrueone posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:02:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

    Post 1872 of 5528
    Joined 9/18/2006

    When I was still in I had to do it myself, when God tells you to do something you do it or else you get whacked.

    M Jim_TX posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:40:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

    Post 2737 of 3256
    Joined 5/12/2002
    "I will tie you up with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have finished the days of your siege."

    BDSM? Sounds kinda like a kinky god to me.

    frigginconfused posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:55:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

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    Joined 4/26/2010

    Before paper a clay tablet was like a chalk board. Is that what it was instead of a brick.

    And I beleive the text could be literal. Sounds like he left his body and did some time travel. I could easilly get lost for that long if I was fed and paid and given a problem to solve.

    M donny posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:59:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

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    Joined 5/4/2005

    I wish I could remember where I read this, but I am at a loss at the moment.

    Anyway, a guy was doing a test on "believers" by asking them if they believed the really bizarre portions of the Bible. At first he quoted real portions such as the Ezekiel incident mentioned here. Then he started quoting stuff he made up, but used scripture citations to make it seem real (no one had access to a Bible).

    One was something like "And Isaiah was told by the LORD to lay on the ground beneath an ox and feed upons it defecation for sixteen months until Israel repents."

    Another one was along the lines of "The Lord commanded Solomon to have intercourse with all of the foreign women who were in Jerusalem so that a contract with the nations could be forged that would lead to an era of peace."

    Several of the "believers" stated that if it is in Gods Word, then it must have a purpose. One person stated that the Isaiah example was Gods way of showing that he had the power to even make animal waste something that could sustain a true believer.

    Another person suggested the Solomon situation was Gods way of increasing the Nation of Israel and was helping it by diversifying the gene pool.

    What all of this proves to me is that those who really want to believe will find an answer to anything in the Bible, however bizarre, and try to make sense of it somehow. I see the same thing done by Muslims when trying to explain bizarre portions of the Koran.

    Donny

    frigginconfused posted Wed, 11 Aug 2010 01:00:00 GMT(8/11/2010)

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    Joined 4/26/2010

    Or the days were meant to be written down. ever play the game of risk? soundl like thats what might be going on. a mockup for battle. like sitting down and marking through your weekly planner. you can go through a week in 10 minutes.

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