I genuinely love them

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    MsGrowingGirl20 posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:30:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 40 of 272
    Joined 1/23/2012

    I love these people so much! we had KH cleaning last weekend for the memorial and it felt just like old time and brought back soo many memories...i share my struggles, my joys ...EVERYTHING with my bros and sis... they are my friends...i really truly do love them...how can i leave? That feeling just made me feel like abandoning all this reasarch and go on living blindly

    But, too bad i don't live by emotions! On with my research....

    Any1 ever hhad an experience like this?

    M alanv posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:36:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 585 of 833
    Joined 12/20/2005

    I too used to love the brothers and sisters, that is until I started questioning some of the views of the governing body. Once I started doing that all love towards me was immediately stopped and a very cold feeling existed between me and my so called friends. Because I could no longer agree with what I had previously been taught my close JW friends dropped me like a brick.

    The love shown by JWs, is totally conditional on you obeying everything the governing body say.

    M darth frosty posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:37:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 3413 of 3858
    Joined 11/28/2005

    Its the nature of a cult/high control group. You get the members conditioned to only accept and react to the 'love' you (meaning the group) give them and if they step out of line you withdraw that love leaving them empty and depressed yearning for it.

    Look at your example that triggered these emotions...Cleaning the hall WORK! They tie their work and activities to your justification of living. Very cunning.

    Good vid on the subject

    link

    Chariklo posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:51:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 589 of 2623
    Joined 5/9/2011

    Real friends love you as you are.

    Real friends are your friends because of who you are. They stick by you no matter what.

    If Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, our Father in heaven, is real, whether or not his name is Jehovah or Father Christmas, then he must be a mighty, wise and all-knowing being. He is not likely to be reduced to the petty-minded tyrant proclaimed by the JW's.

    One of the worst things the JW's do is reduce God, hypothetical, real, or whatever, to a mean-minded, small-spirited being who will only love you if you fulfil his least requirement, and, according to the JW's, those requirements are clearly outlined in the Bible and brought up to date and explained to poor weak humans living today by the JW's who are God's only channel of communication.

    Really? It defies logic and beggars belief.

    The JW brothers and sisters who are loving you so much now will turn in the blink of an eye once you fall out of line. If there's a whisper that you might just possibly be straying in thought, never mind in action, they'll pile on the love in spadesful. But once you make yourself clear, if you do, it will all just switch off, because JW's teach and believe that we have to do exactly what Jehovah/GB/WT says or we are doomed, and in Satan's clutches.

    The Catch22 is, of course, that we are all imperfect. That's their get-out clause for elders and the GB when things go wrong, but it doesn't apply to ordinary mortals. If they stray, the love gets switched off, and they ask us to believe that this goes for God too. They'll even back it up for us from the Bible.

    What an insult to a loving God, if we believe in him! What an insult to our own intelligence! And how very cleverly it is all done, in a way designed to shred an honest person psychologically.

    Growing Girl, I too thought they were my friends, until the true colours showed through. I was lucky. I still had real friends who I found were still around, no questions asked.

    lostinthought posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:59:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 21 of 123
    Joined 8/31/2011

    I too had so much love for the friends in the hall, then I started making friends other places also...now my best friend is a catholic guy, and I have never felt so closer to anyone. I also have some really good friends at work that love me for me, not because we are the same religion. Start giving people outside the organization a chance, and you will see that not all wordly people are "bad".

    M glenster posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:59:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 1679 of 2830
    Joined 1/26/2007

    They're victims of the Governing Body/JWs leaders. Why should you want to victimize them too? Even the harsh shunning methods come from the JWs leaders concerns to cover their butts regarding phoney efforts to seem exclusive (chosen spokespeople of a literal 144,000)--those that get wise aren't around to tell the other customers long. Keep that focus and you can show someone a solid expose. Otherwise, you could be taken for someone with just another cranky editorial--"people different than me stink."

    http://glenster1.webs.com/gtjbrooklynindex.htm

    tornapart posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 12:25:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 335 of 1860
    Joined 12/17/2011

    All the time MsGG! It's very hard because despite knowing how it all works, despite knowing all the falsehoods, all the propaganda, being able to see through it all... there are still some lovely people there. I have friends I love dearly that I've known from my childhood, over 40 years, we grew up together, know each other inside out. (But I can't share this with them!) It would break their hearts because to them, serving the organisation is serving God and leaving the organisation is leaving God! It is black and white. It is a very delicate balancing act but I think once you have discovered everything there is no going back, it's like a Pandora's box, you can't unbelieve what you now know to be true. What we have to do is decide what is best for us and how to move forward in a way that is right for us. Each one has to make their own choice.

    M leavingwt posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 12:27:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 13928 of 14213
    Joined 6/16/2008

    Most of us felt the same way. Even worse, they are completely ignorant. If they knew what you now know, they'd want to leave, too.

    Unfortunately, they love 'Jehovah' more than the love you. If you get to experience how they treat an ex-member, you'll discover that you have what it takes to make new friends. Your new friends will be able to accept the real you and you won't constantly have to censor yourself. They will be able to tolerate your opinion and respect you as an individual.

    Hang in there. It sucks to lose your friends.

    exwhyzee posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 12:44:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 960 of 1788
    Joined 5/23/2010

    MsGrowingGirl20 When my Son and his Fiance' let their strong feelings for one another get the better of them, they went before the Elders about it. They were DF'd for not having turned themselves in sooner and for now refusing to break their engagement as the Elders advised them to. A few weeks after being Disfellowshipped my son was diagnosed with an agressive form of Cancer. During his surgery, Chemo treatments and a stint in the isolation ward, he and his Fiance' were shunned by every friend and family member they had known since childhood. He was living with us at the time so our phone stopped ringing as well. These loving people watched as this young man dragged himself bald sick and scared to every meeting so that he could be reinstated as soon as possible. We were abandoned in our darkes hour by our entire support system. The only ones who came to our aid were non Witness coworkers who were wonderful to us. The warm fuzzy feelings I had for life long friends who could allow this fine young fellow to possibly go to his grave whithout ever speaking to him again or even attending his funeral if it came to that, soon gave way to anger. The reality is that we had been projecting our own warm feelings onto those whom we though of as Brothers and Sisters only to find out the brotherhood is very conditional and one sided and will vanish at the say so of their leaders.

    Once the magical Watchtower bubble is burst for you, you can see this group for what it is. Once you look beyond the warm fuzzy feelings you have for those you've known for years, you can truly look at the facts for what they are. You are no longer able to overlook little inaccuracies. It's these inaccuracies,when implemented, that become so dangerous or even evil.

    NVR2L8 posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:46:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 320 of 1030
    Joined 1/2/2011

    Love is only linked with congregation activities...love in service, at the meetings, at conventions...occasionally in some private gatherings. My brother is an elder and my elderly pioneer mother is in his congregation. She lives one block away from my brother but she complains that he never visits her. She only sees him and his family at the KHall...They are too busy to visit or even call. But if you come to the KHall, they are warm and loving...The moment they will sense something is wrong with you, love will be far gone and they will not visit you to enquire or even call. I haven't been to the KHall for nearly 2 years and the only few that come to visit come to see my active wife...they barely say hello to me and act as if I don't exist. They don't even know why I left yet!

    PaintedToeNail posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:48:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 390 of 1223
    Joined 7/17/2011

    exwhyzee-How horrible for your son, his fiance, you and the rest of your family. What was done to all of you was unconsciencible. It was wonderful that your coworkers were much more 'christian'. I hope that your family has healed from this trauma.

    M glenster posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:53:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 1681 of 2830
    Joined 1/26/2007

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n_4t7KcJsQ

    M thetrueone posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:24:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 5546 of 5528
    Joined 9/18/2006

    Nice well meaning people can easily put in a state of controlling delusion of fear and ignorance,

    just as easy as the not so nice.

    I think its a probability that everyone who was involved with this religion for a long time do actually miss

    some people they used to know at their halls, including myself.

    baltar447 posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:31:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 1103 of 2350
    Joined 3/11/2006

    They are non-people. They are programmed to act loving when you're not perceived as weak or a threat. Once you rock the boat, that's it. Remember these aren't genuine personalities you are dealing with, they are "cult personalities", ala a mind controlled human that will do what it's been told to by the authoritarian group that it belongs to. Don't believe us? Fake a health problem and miss meetings for a few weeks, maybe months. Oh sure in the beginning they'll be supportive but eventually you're out of sight out of mind. Once you're not attending their bs meetings you are suspect.

    M glenster posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 18:23:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 1683 of 2830
    Joined 1/26/2007

    "non-people"

    The Nazi faction was worse.
    v
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonperson

    baltar447 posted Sat, 17 Mar 2012 19:14:00 GMT(3/17/2012)

    Post 1104 of 2350
    Joined 3/11/2006

    let me clarify. by "non persons" what i meant was you cant't expect genuine humanity out of them. Everything is regulated by the cult. Especially love

    finally awake posted Sun, 18 Mar 2012 05:02:00 GMT(3/18/2012)

    Post 650 of 2100
    Joined 12/23/2011

    I understand. There are several people at my former hall that I was very fond of and loved to spend time with. However, I can't pretend to believe something that I know to be false just to keep a friend. That's not real friendship anyway. For someone to be a real friend, there has to be honesty and respect going both ways.

    I know it's hard, I stayed in for several years just because I couldn't imagine giving up my friends. But in the end, when they began to see me as spiritually weak, they all pretty much dropped me even though I still attended meetings. It's pretty hard to put on a convincing act long term, and it's terrible for your mental health.

    M smiddy posted Sun, 18 Mar 2012 06:54:00 GMT(3/18/2012)

    Post 990 of 4537
    Joined 3/30/2007

    MSGG20

    My wife and I were witnesses for over 33 years,we were talking about old times the other day where we have some very good memories and experiences with our (then) brothers and sisters during that time.We also have photo`s videos and film of some of our times together,and they were enjoyable fun times where we interacted with each other in a sociable enviroment.. We went camping as a group on numerous occassions we went on umpteen resturant outings.we had numerous occassions at each others house for meals/scrabble nights /trivial pursuit etc... I beleive they loved us as we loved them during this time.....

    However when we faded as we did for many years.....,we didn`t cut them off or reject them.....they decided we weren`t people they wanted to associate with ,they cut us off because we were no longer serving jehovah according to their criteria.

    As I now emphasize we didn`t cut them off ....they cut us off ...and to me thats their loss not ours

    And the really big difference is...if they wanted to remain JW`s and be our freinds we would have no problem, we could do that

    But they cant be our freinds because we do not want to be JW`s and they cant handle that

    smiddy

    Chariklo posted Sun, 18 Mar 2012 09:11:00 GMT(3/18/2012)

    Post 597 of 2623
    Joined 5/9/2011
    But in the end, when they began to see me as spiritually weak, they all pretty much dropped me even though I still attended meetings.

    This business of labelling people as spiritually weak because they begin to think for themselves is just part of the JW brainwash tactics. Independent thinking isn't just discouraged. It is viewed as positively sinful.

    This has been explicitly spelled out to me.

    It's the ultimate control religion, and it means it isn't a religion. It's a cult that keeps its members through a mix of stick and carrot, the carrot being all the "friendship" etc.

    M flipper posted Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:07:00 GMT(3/18/2012)

    Post 14378 of 17684
    Joined 3/7/2007

    MS GROWING GIRL- I know it's hard to understand right now- but you will make more friends outside the JW organization. And these friends will be unconditional and won't turn their backs on you if you showed doubts about the JW organization. Your JW friends WILL do so if they find out you have doubts. Some may respect you still - but you'll discover who your true friends are and who they aren't.

    I lost a few what I thought were good friends in the JW's - until they started shunning me because I had doubts about the organization. These Witnesses are controlled by their fears, not logic. Don't let fear control you - that's what the WT leaders and elders want in order to control you. Hang in there, we re here for you. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

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