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loving someone vs. being in love vs. infatuation....

    M oompa posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:10:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 6884 of 7147
    Joined 8/15/2007

    help me out here...i guess that there are all levels of love esp in a marriage. with the tiger woods mess the news is there are many reasons people stay in marriages even when there is little or no love...

    i have been infatuated before AND I FREAKIN LOVE IT!!!!.....and btw...MANY a long term romance starts with infatuation...in fact i wonder how many people really in love started with it? so then how could you tell REAL love from infatuation anyway???.....geeze this love thing is really tough for us hopeless romantics....i like feeling IN love....being IN love...not just caring for someone.....i care for my cat...no actually i am even in love with my cat dammit!!!!!....he walks on water!!!......never mind.............oompa

    sammielee24 posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:16:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 4196 of 7724
    Joined 12/9/2004

    If you want a marriage to work, be infatuated, in love, passionate and loving toward your other half. If it's too much work for either party to feel that way, then, humans being the complex social creatures they are, will generally seek out people who regenerate those feelings for them. sammieswife.

    M leavingwt posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:06:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 5411 of 14216
    Joined 6/16/2008

    Falling in Love = Infatuation = Temporary Insanity

    It's good for the survival of the species. It creates a desire to reproduce, despite the laundry list of negatives involved.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSWTVXh_Yns

    -LWT (Very happily married, wearing my Cynicism Hat, for the sake of this argument.)

    Satanus posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:09:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 17053 of 21224
    Joined 8/31/2001

    'What's love, but a second hand emotion?'

    S

    OUTLAW posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:20:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 14038 of 23517
    Joined 10/11/2001

    Love I nFlatuation

    Fart fire on an aircraft carrier

    .............................................. ...OUTLAW

    journey-on posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:33:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 3560 of 5333
    Joined 2/28/2007

    Love grows, changes, transforms, and blossoms. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward had the secret key, imo. They were married over 50 years.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMLMWpSHdZE

    Satanus posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:38:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 17057 of 21224
    Joined 8/31/2001

    So, eat steak instead of hamburgers. Does macdonalds know about this?

    S

    hecouldbewrong posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:05:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 18 of 48
    Joined 10/18/2009

    Being infatuated is what makes the rest of the human experience tolerable, IMO. BTW, any pretty young thing need someone to talk to?

    Found Sheep posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:08:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 57 of 3338
    Joined 5/13/2009

    my TRUE LOVE started with complete infatuation over the hill!!!!

    M leavingwt posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:10:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 5414 of 14216
    Joined 6/16/2008
    my TRUE LOVE started with complete infatuation over the hill!!!!

    Same, here.

    I guess we got lucky. The divorce rate is 50%, and I'm quite certain more than 80% of those folks were infatuated with one another, to begin with.

    M Leprechaun posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:41:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 220 of 365
    Joined 1/24/2008

    Let me tell yeh something Hansen, if you don’t have the Hot’s for someone and want to bonk them day in and day out, or at least be near them and touch them, well, brother you better not tie the knot with them.

    1. (adj.) Attracted strongly or irresistibly, as with love:

    • enamored

    • besotted

    • bewitched

    • enthralled

    • entranced

    • crazy about (colloquial)

    • mad about

    • daft about (chiefly British, colloquial)

    • gaga (colloquial)

    • drawn to

    • head-over-heels

    • keen on

    • moonstruck

    • rapt

    • smitten

    • enchanted

    • taken with

    • repelled (antonym)

    • repulsed (antonym)

    1. (adj.) Attracted strongly or irresistibly, as with love:

    • enamored

    • besotted

    • bewitched

    • enthralled

    • entranced

    • crazy about (colloquial)

    • mad about

    • daft about (chiefly British, colloquial)

    • gaga (colloquial)

    • drawn to

    • head-over-heels

    • keen on

    • moonstruck

    • rapt

    • smitten

    • enchanted

    • taken with

    • repelled (antonym)

    • repulsed (antonym)

    Farkel posted Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:44:00 GMT(1/4/2010)

    Post 10091 of 11743
    Joined 3/14/2001

    The ancient Greeks had 4 separate words for "love" and they didn't know any more about it than we do!

    Farkel

    zagor posted Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:07:00 GMT(1/5/2010)

    Post 2696 of 2739
    Joined 6/10/2005

    LOL oompa, ok I'll try hard not to sound like I'm lecturing you here after all I've been through shit myself before, so here we go..

    To be honest mate, if you are considering real relationship with someone then infatuation is what you definitely DON'T want to use as the foundation. It is easy to get infatuated when one has just come out of a relationship and you want to recapture that "magic" again with someone else. Its particularly the case when you can't, for whatever reason, get physical with the person for longer than normal and then your emotions start to run riot.

    The problem with that is, you are really not 'in love' with that person per se, but are living in your own head, suspended in vacuum, addicted to your own emotions i.e. chemical in your brain. Might as well use wine or beer and have 10-15 one night stands to get your mind back to normal before looking back that that "relationship". Chances are you'll wonder how in the hell you ever got infatuated in the first place.

    To be really in love with someone or love the person then there's gotta be something more, shall we say deeper that connects you two (and I don't mean only thrusting during sex)
    Seriously, if the way that person thinks is not aligned with yours; and by that I don't mean her being into, say, something spiritual like yoga while you being more of a practitioner preferring more hands on things like say a hand job, i.e. you gotta love what she is inside, you each gotta be able to feel what the other is thinking, if not I woudn't even consider it if I were you at least not beyone one nighter. You really have to love what she is inside because that's what you'll have to live with when sex is over.

    Anyway, I'm usually not into these sorts of quizzes but just googled it and came across this. It might be fun to try it.. http://www.quiztron.com/tests/love_or_infatuation_quiz_13539.htm

    My suggestion to you is to go out more. Meet new people. There were Christmass and New Year parties, surely you've met an interesting person or two. But don't stop only there, explore. Get clear on what you really want. Infatuation makes you focus so much onto someone else that you forget yourself and what's important to YOU, not to mention it can make you look stupid as well. Infatuation comes with irrational doubts of what is potentially not there and blindness to what is really there. Develop methods to find out what really motivates someone who wants your attention as well as whether the person is compatible with the way of life you are living. Speaking alone with that person must be experience of a lifetime every time, something beyond their 'bang-factor'. So if you don't enjoy talking to her that much, move on there's pleny more around.

    M oompa posted Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:26:00 GMT(1/5/2010)

    Post 6885 of 7147
    Joined 8/15/2007

    damm zagor....that was awesome!....send me the bill doc!............i am assuming you are a guy and i should definately hang out with you!!.....i really appreciate your entire post and geeze now i have a test to take???.......i am going to pm you my email and number.......THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!.....oompa

    and so many funny things here....i really liked your post too leprechaun!......

    nugget posted Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:33:00 GMT(1/5/2010)

    Post 196 of 3769
    Joined 11/22/2009

    Love is something you miss when it's gone. If you have it keep hold of it.

    I was infatuated once I was young. it was unpleasant while it lasted. We had nothing in common and ultimately made each other miserable in the end.

    M Quirky1 posted Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:50:00 GMT(1/5/2010)

    Post 3316 of 3621
    Joined 3/13/2008

    I like to work with wood so I can become infatuated with a nice piece of oak. I'm easily amused..

    xmkx posted Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:41:00 GMT(1/5/2010)

    Post 25 of 65
    Joined 12/25/2009

    All relationships start with a honey moon period, i.e. period of infatuation. This is speculated to last somewhere around the first 2 years of the relationship. During this time period "faults" are considered to be cute and adorable rather than bothersome. Then reality starts sinking in and you start finding those "faults" to be bothersome, and that's when the trouble starts. There will be a period of conflict following that either breaks or cements the relationship.

    The best way to avoid empty relationships is to just take your time about things. Don't get married/move in together during the infatuation period and/or interpret it as "true love" and just enjoy it for what it is - a temporary moment of euphoria that kick starts a new relationship.

    BTW, infatuation can become an addiction for those with dependency and/or abandonment issues, so do be careful. If you feel like you wish you could stay infatuated all the time chances are you have an addiction brewing.

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