My Boyfriend's not a Witness...

you may change his religion, but you wont change him.

someday you will realize, and divorce cuts harder than a sword!

1. Tomak90 (12:29:00 AM): Can anyone fill me in on why JW can't date other people?
2. Zaikanata (12:29:26 AM): I don't know. I just know they can't..
3. Tomak90 (12:29:34 AM): ...Hikaru?
4. nekohikaruchan (12:30:02 AM): I can't find anything on it. http://www.watchtower.org/e/200706a/article_01.htm One of the paragraphs in that is all I can find. Checking the CD-rom, hold on.
5. Tomak90 (12:30:09 AM): Alright.
6. nekohikaruchan (12:57:56 AM): I can't find it, and if I ask grandma she'll be all "Why do you need that?"
7. Zaikanata (12:58:28 AM): I see..
8. nekohikaruchan (12:59:29 AM): I don't think just saying curiosity is going to work. Since she knows I don't ask questions unless I'm scared of something in the news. And she's not stupid. She can put two and two together.
9. Zaikanata (1:01:07 AM): It's only slightly more easier for me, but it would create tension... I know, without a doubt in my mind, that my father would support me all the way.
10. Zaikanata (1:01:37 AM): ... My mother though, she'll get angry, fight with my father, and then the entire family would get involved, etc. ...
11. Zaikanata (1:02:39 AM): There would be no way to admit to them at all, much less even ask about what I should do..

Hikaru, do you honestly not know why you can't date or marry a non-JW as a JW? Or do you just not want to tell them? I don't get it. Why would you so adamantly insist on something and not even know the reason why you do it? To me this is a strong indication of not being ready for a relationship anyway.

Reading through this it seems to me you are only trying to manipulate your "boyfriend" into doing what you want. Manipulation, no matter the motivation, is never a good thing in a relationship. It's a poor foundation for one, and it will only end in intense heartache. You say you are in pain over this matter now, and you haven't even met him in person! You are in trouble deep, girl. If you would just take what we are telling you seriously, you would get out now, before you exacerbate the entire thing!

1. I'm sorry, but.. I can't convert. I love you, but.. if I converted, I would lose myself, the myself that loves you..
2. Zaikanata (1:41:15 AM): I am me... I need me, yet I love you.
3. nekohikaruchan (1:59:03 AM): Sorry..
4. Zaikanata (1:59:49 AM): You have done nothing wrong..
5. mizuulquiorri1 (2:04:22 AM) has been invited.
6. Zaikanata (2:05:10 AM): I won't ask you to convert either.. I would just then be robbing you of what you believe..
7. nekohikaruchan (2:08:48 AM): Then what?
8. Zaikanata (2:10:42 AM): I don't know.
9. nekohikaruchan (2:13:04 AM): This is why I didn't want her to bring up this topic.
10. Zaikanata (2:13:23 AM): Don't blame Ino for it. It would have risen up eventually..
11. Zaikanata (2:53:57 AM): All I can say about this now.. I still love you. And nothing will change that.
12. nekohikaruchan (3:09:32 AM): What do you mean lose the part of yourself that loves me?
13. Zaikanata (3:10:50 AM): I said I would lose the 'myself' that loves you. It isn't a part of me, but it is me as a whole..
14. Zaikanata (3:12:24 AM): In my eyes, to convert to be a witness would mean I abandon everything that made me.. me. To fully devote myself to a god that required utmost worship in all aspects of life... there would be no room to love anyone else for me if I were to convert.
15. Zaikanata (3:13:09 AM): I would lose what made up me and my shell would be what would remain..
16. Zaikanata (3:14:56 AM): I don't believe that any god would make life just to make them worship them... For 'my god' views everyone equal, no matter the sin they committed or the abomnation they have made..
17. Zaikanata (3:16:03 AM): And for those that would seek salvation for 'our end of the world,' our god is offered as a choice, but not a requirement..
18. Zaikanata (3:16:52 AM): I won't say any more about it, for I fear it is not my place to continue talking about it..
19. Zaikanata (3:18:30 AM): I refer to 'me' as 'myself' because... that's who and what I am. Me. No matter the creator, no matter the reason I was made... I live as me.
20. Zaikanata (3:20:19 AM): If I completely devoted everything there was to my life to being a witness... I lose me as an individual, and replaced as me as a hollow shell that can do nothing but devote everything, not leaving any room for happiness in life.
21. Zaikanata (3:20:43 AM): That's it.
22. Zaikanata (3:24:56 AM): Long story short, I fear I would no longer be 'Zai.' I would be someone else..
23. nekohikaruchan (3:29:00 AM): Then...there's no solution.
24. Zaikanata (3:30:55 AM): We are still capable of loving.. it's just we cannot marry..
25. nekohikaruchan (3:31:49 AM): Or date.
26. Zaikanata (3:32:51 AM): I'll go and say it now, to get it off my mind.. I want to marry you.
27. Zaikanata (3:32:58 AM): But respecting your religion.. I can't..
28. Zaikanata (3:38:22 AM): Seems I killed whatever remained of the chat..
29. Zaikanata (3:39:03 AM): If it's too sudden, I'm sorry.

He sounds very capable of thinking for himself, and he sounds like he has broken off your relationship.

1. Zaikanata (4:32:24 PM): .. alright, I'm ready to talk.
2. Zaikanata (4:34:43 PM): I will learn what there is to learn. However, I can't fully promise I'll get out everything I need out of it to understand..
3. Zaikanata (4:36:47 PM): I'm sorry that I turned off my phone that night, if that gave you the idea that I was trying to avoid you. I was conflicted that night too.. I needed some time to mself.
4. Zaikanata (4:36:51 PM): myself*
5. Zaikanata (4:37:43 PM): I don't hate you.. I love you. I still do.
6. Zaikanata (4:38:15 PM): ... and I want to just kill myself for even suggesting that we weren't meant for each other, to be away from you..
7. Zaikanata (4:39:56 PM): I'm a horrible person, I know..
8. Zaikanata went idle at 6:33:19 PM
9. Zaikanata came back from idle at 6:45:35 PM
10. nekohikaruchan (7:02:40 PM):    Sorry, I was afk browsing from phone. And sorry for over-reacting. You usually never sign off AIM at night, so I reacted on that too.And sorry for all of this.
11. Zaikanata (7:03:38 PM): It's fine. You don't have to apologize, remember?
12. Zaikanata (7:04:21 PM): Actually, it should be me that does that..
13. Zaikanata (7:04:47 PM): I'm sorry for being too focused on myself when you clearly needed me..
14. nekohikaruchan (7:11:00 PM):   
15. I need to apologize more. I'm the one that's hiding behind others because I'm too afraid to bring up the topics myself. The one trying to force beliefs by going about it the wrong way, by again using others to say it, all just because I'm scared for us both, nothing thinking about the negativity that could cause. Sorry.
16. Zaikanata (7:12:18 PM): I accept your apology..
17. Zaikanata (7:13:13 PM): And.. just to tell you, I'll be your friend no matter what. I won't completely abandon you like Ben did..
18. Zaikanata (7:13:36 PM): Even if you left like Mew did.

Congratulations, you have guilt-tripped him into learning "The Truth," which you don't even know well enough to explain to him (the funny thing about truth is that it is straightforward and simple, you don't need a publication to explain it, it stands up for itself, so if you have to find an article or ask your grandma why something is, that could be a red flag as to its truthfulness, just a thought).

He still is saying he will be your friend no matter what. Friend. Not boyfriend. Take him at his word. Males always tell us what they think, and we females tend to morph it into what we want to hear. It's a bad habit of ours, and will never get us anywhere worthwhile, trust me.

By the way, do you wonder why you are seeking "worldly" friends in the first place? It may be for a different reason than you think. Perhaps a part of you has to be suppressed as one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Maybe it would be vital for you to spend some time exploring why you do the things you do, and who you are as a person, and let the rest take care of itself? Have you ever spent any time exploring yourself, and what makes you you?

What do you want out of life? How do you envision your life to be? One of the greatest things about being a human is our power of imagination. Why not imagine what you would like your life to look like in the next five years, and then work toward making that vision a reality?

What does Hikaru want?

What does Hikaru want? (And I don't mean her possible boyfriend to convert to her religion. Though it looks as though you may be able to nag him into studying, he is obviously capable of thought, and the Jehovah's Witness teachings are not going to appeal to him.)

I challenge you to truly learn about your religion and see if you can stand behind its teachings. How can you agree with something if you don't even know what it is!?

Genuinely,

Rachel

Internet relationships...*shakes head*...

teenage internet relationships...*shakes head even harder*

Teenage Internet relationships with religious issues !!!  * shakes head even harder, head explodes*

FRREEDDOOOMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     There's nothing wrong with internet relationships, but I would suggest meeting in person before you jump into anything. I went inactive before marrying my sweety and knew him really well. I could not live a lie and pretend that I believed that all nonbelievers were evil- so I left before commiting to my now husband. You will likely face alot of challenges and repercussions from family members, ect. and it would be miserable to go through that with a stranger. Best wishes and all the best to you!!  Gabriella

I had the same conflicts w/ a high school girlfriend. Jerked her around, etc. She was too smart to get dragged into the religion. I ended up breaking her heart and a few others. Frankly, I'd say quit yanking the poor guy's chain until you get your head straightened out. Doing what you are doing to him no is just plain cruel, mean and shitty. I know, I did it to a few people. 

I commend you Rachel, I got frustrated with Hikaru a long time ago... She comes to an apostate website looking for confirmation that the world is coming to an end.... Psychologically, perhaps she knows it isn't, and this is the only forum who understands the doomsday mindset of a JW and can allay her fears... Hard to say.

I hope this guy will not be sucked into the black hole of the WTS... Sounds like he is capable of thinking on his own though.

Look, I understand that JW's are taught to "overcome objections". It's pounded into our heads. But what if he kept trying to overcome YOUR objections, to, say be intimate before marriage? Over and over, made it a prerequisite to a relationship, marriage, etc.? Would'nt be very nice, would it? Do you see a parallel here?

Don't you ever... EVER SLEEP WITH A NONBELIEVER.

ONE DAY. YOUR GONNA WAKE UP, SEE THE GUY NEXT TO YOU WITH HIS TATTOO OF YOUR NAME ON HIS HAIRY LEFT BUTCHEEK AND YOUR GONNA BE PRAYIN AND DOIN ALL THAT JEHOVA STUFF AND HE GUNA BE LIKE BITCH U CRAZY THEN YOUR GONNA RECONSIDER IT.

MAY YOU BE PUNISHED FOR EVEN THINKING SUCH A DEED.

HE AIN'T LIKE US. HE WIERD. HE NOT NORMAL. HE NOT THINK RIGHT.

ANYONE!!!! ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THEIR LIVE BEING A JEHOVA'S WITNESS, SPREADING THE WORD OF GOD TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE AND MAKE FAKE BUDDIES ON AN INTERNET SITE LIKE THIS.

PRAISE JEHOVAGOD

-"GODLUVER"

Is it a full moon tonight?

Break up the relationship, go to school, and live on your own for 5 years while dating multiple people.  Remember this advice in 10 years when you ignore it.