Ex jw wife

i find it interesting that i posted about 16 days ago concerning whether i should write a letter and

allow my ex wife to be free and marry.

Saturday night she called out of the blue ( maybe there is a god upthere looking down) after 3 years of not talking to her and she wants to meets.

We met last night and after small talk about how we are both doing and family stuff, she asked me if i would write a letter

freeing her or releasing her from our marriage without admitting adultery, since i don't believe in the bible anymore,

why would i not do that for her so she could move on with her life ?

I told her i will never write that letter since it can be used against me for DF and i will not play the watchtower

game with their rules and regulations.

Finally all pissed off she got up and left and accusing me of retaliating against her for leaving me.

She definetely made me feel bad and often i feel like i should just do it and let her go her own way.

On the other hand i'm all pissed off because she gave me hell along with her father to have me Df

and loose it all, especially my girls that were still in the borg.

She has rejected her mother, has not talked to her in 17 years, 2 of her sisters and 2 of my daughters that left the organization.

Why do i feel sorry for her and at times want to give in and let her marry? Don't love her anymore but was married to her for 26 years

and probably feelings are still there.

I need to find replacement woman!!!!

JWs really have a gift for acting the persecuted victim. It was her choice to leave you...? You're not stopping her from remarrying, the WT is - and it's HER choice to follow the Watchtower rules.

If losing your daughters is hanging over your head like a sword of damocles then she can stay single.

Wait till she gets a new boyfriend, get maried disf'd and then sent the letter.

Let her stay single , if she wants to remain devoted to such a shame cult thats her problem.

Sounds like she doesn't deserve respect because she doesn't have it for anyone else whose not

involved with that religion. Her lack of personal integrity makes her not worthy of anything at all.

Call it the laws of humanity. 

I got my ex to write a letter.  I still have it.  The letter was written in 1983.  There have been a few times over the years that I've found the letter again....then I think how rediculous the whole thing was. 

Don't write the letter, it's her rules that don't allow her to remarry, not yours.

lisa

keep doing as your doing and NEVER EVER LET UP.

NEVER write a letter...

NEVER admit to anything.

Hey buddy, she went after you to get you DF'ed.
She used the rules to hurt people, reject people.

Let her live with those same rules.  You do not prevent her from deciding what to do, only the rules do.
If she insists on waiting for you to write a letter or give proof of freedom, wait until you find that new woman.
Even then, don't just give her what she wants.  Let her wait.

She can date and remarry without DF and without a letter from you.  Some elders will take her word for it...esp after three years, and the onus would be on you to come forward and deny it, although she can claim you are lying, and they can absolve themselves from the situation since nobody really knows unless they see you humping or get a fun video.  Or they could do a "stakeout" and just see you alone with a chick go in your house or hotel.  

Or you can have sex with her whether she wants to or not since in WT eyes you guys are still married...just kidding...think about it...if you guys are still married in wt/gods eyes then you are the head and she must be submissive and the weaker vessel!...could be a good poontang opportunity if you are backed up a bit....lol......but then you could deny it since two witnesses are needed to prove it.....lmao..........oompa

i wonder what she would think about WT rules if you took advantage of her "rendering her dues"???

Oompa

When we were still together and became " apostate" i was sleeping in another room.

What chance is there to sleep with her right now? :)   Very little.

OTWO wrote:  Hey buddy, she went after you to get you DF'ed.
She used the rules to hurt people, reject people.  Let her live with those same rules. 

You didn't want to leave and didn't want to get divorced in the first place.

It's not OK for her to keep pushing just to get her way at every turn.

Those rules that chose to embrace so vehemently are biting her in the butt.  Seems she made assumptions about how *all* apostates will behave when the leave Jehovah.  Apparently her assumptions were wrong.  You do still have some principles and love for your family.

Crazy, isn't it?

-Aude.

I remember thinking about your other thread, "what would I do?"

My opinion is to not write the letter solely because it is the WT rules, and that is submitting to them.  Ick.  Do NOT give them any more power.

However, the exception would be, for me, is if when thoroughly thinking it through, you felt it was the right thing to do for you and your life, your future, your conscience, your soul.  You will know the right thing to do for you.

She left you right?  She needs to justify that to herself and the WT, not you.

Either way, good luck and wish you the best! 

Tell her sure you'll write the letter, right after the Society sends you a letter first stating that you will not ever be DF

or shunned and that you will always be considered in good standing. It must be signed by all current members of the

GB and the Society's board of directors.

         Once you have that in writing, (as if they would ever agree to it) tell her sure you'd write her a letter.

Did you have someone else in the last three years so in god's eyes she could marry again? if that is the case i would advise writing the letter, Your children are witnesses and they will just think you are being vindictive if you refuse but this all hinges on whether your wife truly has grounds for divorce in god's eyes.

If you have not commited any act that causes your marriage to be undone in god's eyes it would be wrong to lie about it.

Reniaa

She if really free to remarry now. She needs to learn to live by the same rules she is putting everyone else under.

Maybe she will see the harshness of having a cult run her life?

I had a similar situation with my ex-wife. I was the one to walk, though. I also am the one who filed for the divorce.

She kept asking me to give her the 'i did the deed with another' bit - so she could be 'free' to remarry.

The way I saw it - the divorce was legal in the eyes of the law - just as our marriage was. They can't have it both ways. Picking only parts of law that suits their purposes - and rejecting the rest.

I never gave her anything - in writing - or verbally. It's THEIR rules - not mine. Legally, we were free to remarry. That was good enough for me - and should have been - for her.

Next time - tell your ex - the easiest way would be for her to 'get some' - confess - then she would be 'free' to remarry. See how she likes the sound of that option.

Good Luck with your ex.

Regards,

Jim TX

The fact that Reniaa is advising you to write the letter should be conclusive proof that you should not write it.

Reniia

Would you like her phone # and advise her what 1Cor 7:10-15 says.

1000's ofJW stay with their mates even when they do not believe.

She was hoping i'd be screwing around out there and quickly give her freedom.

Please, either you know very little about the bible or you are like the rest of the JW's 

that are usually like donkeys with blinds on and cannot reason.

"Did you have someone else in the last three years so in god's eyes she could marry again?"

Reniaa..Do you remember how badly you protest when someone ask s you anything even remotely personal..

And..

Now you want to know if SSPO has had sex with someone besides his EX..LOL!!........I`m going to save this....It will help remind you what a hypocrite you are..

...........................................LOL!!...OUTLAW

How about writing her elders a letter and saying how you have continued to be willing to reconcile- Jehovah hates a divorcing.  You have just been waiting for her.  And then say how she has asked for her freedom, suggesting that she might be dating.