Jw men in relationships with "worldly women" take notice.

Awww...shucks. Thx becka!

Now I can wear bright scrubs today at work.

 Be happy, be in love!

It's a beautiful thing.

jojochan, the believer.

You're very welcome, jojochan, I live to make people happy.

Wear those bright scrubs today, be happy!!

It really is a beautiful thing, keep on believing!!

-Becka (of the "I believe in love and happiness" class) :)

Becka you have a pm.

jojochan.

jojochan

If I wasn't in love....  maybe i'll introduce you to my little sister....

Thanks for posting this.  My other half is a duck under the radar type.  Oh and he's baptised (i know the fun it can be) Love him to bits.  We did the secrecy thing for a bit.  Of course I DON"T understand what he's feeling but am still happy to be there.  I know I'm a bit late with this post been laid up.  Normally I lurke here to learn.  Just had to say thanks for this one.

Tan

 

Kiddotan you're welcome.

jojochan.

I second that - thanks for this thread, jojochan.  Someday, I think I'll show it to my JW boyfriend, when it comes to the point where he has to choose the WTS or me.

Lots of great insights here, every JW man out there who's involved with or thinking about becoming involved with a non-JW woman should read this and think about what it is that they want.

Unconditional love, it's a beautiful thing.  I love my JW boyfriend unconditionally, even though I don't agree with his religious beliefs, but sometimes I wonder if his love for me is unconditional.  I'm sure that he loves me, but I think he might love his faith more and that scares me.  I guess time will tell.

Thanks for this, jojochan, it's a beautiful thread, it really is.

-Becka :)

Becka, you of all people are especially welcome. You are right, time will certainly tell. The thing is it seems to me that he really DOES love you. He did'nt get baptised, plus he's not active in the religion, so that's not so bad. But if he did, deep down I feel he would still respect your stand on the collective, and will understand, and give you space like you had with him. The key thing is communication, grow together and not apart. Especially with this, this is some heavy stuff here. Deep down you know you care for him and love him, and you know he would bleed for you.

Communicate. As in regards to his family, they seem liberal about it. I would'nt worry.

Any doubts? TALK TO HIM....you my be surprised.  

pm me for any questions if you wish.

your buddy, jojochan.

Oh yeah, one more thing...

I might post more on this subject, but I was thinking about what to do now? I mean, I know I said it once before on not dragging a woman through my issues, but really, if they don't see it as a big deal, then I wont see it as a big deal either...I guess I feel ready. I mean...what WAS the big deal? The FEAR? All in my mind; that's all....all in my mind. Now that I'm at that point if I, IF I; were to go into another relationship, and it were to get serious; I would'nt make it an issue like I did before.....the pin pricks would still be there, but....really, the fear was all in my mind...

what do you think?

jojochan.

*sigh*  He's so easy to talk to about everything... except his religion.   He'll make comments about it - for example, when we were talking a few nights ago on the phone, he was telling me that his younger brother has taken up smoking, and he said, "You know, Witnesses have a rule against smoking" - but that's all I can ever get out of him.  He's so open about other things, but talking about the WTS never pans out.

Once, he mentioned the failed 1975 prophecy and I mentioned that I'd read about it, and immediately, he got very defensive about it.  "How did you know that??  Where did you find out??  You've been researching, haven't you??  What are your sources??"  I didn't even say anything against the WTS, I just said, "Yeah, I read about that once," and he nearly chewed my head off. 

I'm looking for ways to bring certain things up, and I think that his brother's new habit may be a window for me.  He thinks that I don't know anything about JWs and the WTS (I haven't told him about my membership on this board, he'd probably be angry), so I can use that as an excuse to come up with a few things to ask him about - "Hey, I was thinking about that smoking rule you guys have, so I looked up what other rules you have, and I read that...", something like that.  I'm gonna start a thread on that soon, to get some tips.

I know that he doesn't agree with all of the WTS's rules, though - for example, he certainly doesn't think that "fornication" is bad, but of course, adultery is bad, which makes sense.  (No, I'm not sleeping with him, just so you know.)  Maybe I can find out what else there is that he has doubts about.

I'll think about this some more, and I'll probably PM you over the weekend, jojochan, with a few questions, if that's not too much trouble.  Maybe you can clue me in on some things that I haven't picked up on yet.

He means the world to me, I can't bear the thought of it all going down the drain because of some high-control organization run by a bunch of old men in New York.

Thanks again for this thread, we all needed this one.

-Becka :)

Becka, was you not in "the truth"?

Ahh, never in my life have I been so thankful to be a pure-bred Anglican.   'Round here, when the JWs come knocking, we don't answer the door.   Maybe that's why they haven't been around in years.

Us Newfies are happy with our old-fashioned churches and faiths, and we're mostly Catholics and Anglicans, we don't need any JWs trying to change us.

-Becka :)

Oh, well that explains a few things... and kinda makes a few things more difficult to understand. How did you guys meet when you live so far apart?

Ooo, I love telling my story, but I hate how it begins, it's a little embarrassing.

We met on the Internet last January, through www.hotornot.com.  He saw my picture there, thought my rating was too low and wanted to meet me.  I agreed to make him one of my "double-matches" (both people have to agree, and there's no exchange of personal information) and he emailed me through the Hot-or-Not email system (again, no personal contact information), and we started to email each other.  I had a boyfriend at the time, so we were just friends, I made that clear to him, and it went from there.  My other relationship fell apart when my boyfriend cheated on me and then my current boyfriend asked to meet me in person, so he came all the way over here from Oregon, just to meet me.

He's really a sweet guy, I fell for him almost right away, and the worst part is, I knew he was a JW, I just didn't know anything about the WTS back then.

Corny story, right??

-Becka :)

No, I met someone through an AOL chat room and I don't even have AOL.

I just hope everything works out. Obviously you are aware of the complications. Sometimes the problems with dating a JW are not the beliefs, whether the organisation belonged to the UN, or whether they accept blood, but the mindset. The way they are brought up to view women, interpersonal relationships in general.

But there again that kinda stuff is all difficult at a young age anyway.

Well, I think you know what you are doing.

After 43 years, I'm still married to the same worldy women!





Golf

Ooo, me, too.  He's such a great guy, it's just that his belief system is getting in the way of things.  He's not trying to force me to be subservient to him, he knows better than to try and convert me and he doesn't dislike me or my family because we're not JWs, but there are still major issues, like the fact that I celebrate all holidays and he doesn't, he thinks they're all evil, especially Christmas.   The blood issue bugs me, too - I keep thinking of what would happen if he got sick or hurt and needed blood to live, I know he'd refuse and that breaks my heart.   He knows my stance on blood, though - I'm a blood donor, I'm a big supporter of blood donation and I'm also an organ donor, and he hasn't tried to sway me from those things.

Ugh, why do relationships have to be so complicated??  Why can't I just have a normal one for once in my life??

I'm just glad that I found this forum, I've learned a lot here and I'm certainly better prepared to deal with certain JW-related issues now.  I've been educating myself, I'm not walking into this blindly.  I think I can handle it... I hope.

-Becka :)

Becka, I'm off to bed for the night, but I just wanna say I hope you are in love with this guy and he with you. That is the only thing that can make the relationship work. It took me into my thirties to know what love actually is, and now I know, I know it can do a lot of things.

Thanks, ballistic, it's nice to know that there's someone else out there who thinks that this might work out well.  We really do love each other, we'll just have to take it one step at a time and see how it goes.  I appreciate your kind words and support, I really need those things right now.

Good night!!

-Becka :)

Better yet e mail me if you'd like. no problem at all.

But you know...maybe what bugs him IS talking abou the religion. Maybe..relax his mind in regards to it, so he can forget about it for a little while You have that power to distract him, darling...use it.

jojochan.