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When did it dawn that parents are fallible?

Spectrum	When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Mon, 16 Jan 2006 19:49:00 GMT (1/16/2006)
England Post 296 of 795 Since 12/11/2005	How old were you when you realized that your parents were fallible and, that lastest slap you got was unjust? For me I realised at about 9 years old, neither of my parents understood fairness. In my family there were the haves and the have nots. I remember once my mother promised me a pound (mid 70s - you could buy about 10/12 bars of chocolate with it!!) if I allowed the dentist to extract my molars. I was terrified of dentists as they had tortured me with fillings when I was 5. I thought maybe I can suffer for a pound. I braved it and when it was all over I asked my mother with a happy smile for the pound. She basically told me where to go. I was really disgusted with my mother, and at such a tender age. I never trusted her after that. Her word didn't mean sh*t to me. I don't have children of my own but with my sister's kids I mean what I say and say what I mean. Any similar experiences?
Nosferatu	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Mon, 16 Jan 2006 20:05:00 GMT (1/16/2006)
Manitoba Post 4707 of 7210 Since 12/16/2002	I can't remember any specific point. They've always been unjust. I think my biggest realization was Jan 1, 1987 (I was 8 years old) when I was again beaten for no reason
Ellie	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Mon, 16 Jan 2006 20:15:00 GMT (1/16/2006)
Wales, Isle of Anglesey Post 948 of 1200 Since 5/5/2005	I'm not sure at what age but I think I learned quickly that my mum was a nasty piece of work. One example, that I was just thinking about earlier, I was about 12, my dad hadn't been dead for very long, maybe a couple of months and we'd had an argument about something, I don't recall what but I couldn't have said much as I was always too scared, she said to me in a very vicious tone "You're no daughter of mine". That might not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it hurt, at the time she was threatening to have me put in care (this was a favourite of hers) and to remember it to this day means it must've really upset me.
AlmostAtheist	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Mon, 16 Jan 2006 20:26:00 GMT (1/16/2006)
Ohio Post 3244 of 5775 Since 8/26/2004	I have two pretty great parents. My dad is pretty sharp, one of the sharper people I know. It wasn't until I was about 23 that I started to realize he could be wildly wrong about some things. Of course, I grew up somewhat since then, and realized he can be wildly right, too. I was probably 30ish when I finally caught on to the fact that he's a guy, like me. But better at chess. Dave
M.J.	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Mon, 16 Jan 2006 20:38:00 GMT (1/16/2006)
Post 1207 of 3402 Since 6/11/2003	I think kids are pretty insightful. In many levels even toddlers realize plenty of fallibility in their parents. It only grows from there. With respect to religious stuff though, kids really don't have any basis to suspect any alternatives to the parents' story until they get a good education from other sources.
diamondblue1974	Re: Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:48:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
England, Greater Manchester Post 1602 of 3508 Since 2/1/2005	I'm not sure at what age but I think I learned quickly that my mum was a nasty piece of work. One example, that I was just thinking about earlier, I was about 12, my dad hadn't been dead for very long, maybe a couple of months and we'd had an argument about something, I don't recall what but I couldn't have said much as I was always too scared, she said to me in a very vicious tone "You're no daughter of mine". That might not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it hurt, at the time she was threatening to have me put in care (this was a favourite of hers) and to remember it to this day means it must've really upset me. One thing that escapes many of us is that abuse has many forms; physical, sexual and more often emotional. It is worst when the abuse forms all of the above. That comment made by your mother constitutes (as hard as it is for me to say this to you) abuse in the emotional sense when coupled with her treatment of you in other areas and its not surprising it is still called to memory recently. Its difficult but sometimes parents are just not aware of the damage they do when they cause children to feel rejection or to feel overly restricted but you can take some comfort knowing your kids are well looked after and loved....even though they may drive you batty once in a while You have a PM DB74
Spectrum	Re: Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:58:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
England Post 301 of 795 Since 12/11/2005	" It wasn't until I was about 23 that I started to realize he could be wildly wrong about some things." You must have had a lot of faith in your parents. Perhaps you never got unjust beatings.
misspeaches	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 01:13:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Australian Capital Territory Post 1687 of 3133 Since 3/1/2005	I knew from a very young age that mum was fallible. Be this to her severe depressive episodes, the crazy way she would deal with things, her mood swings, I don't know exactly which or a combination of all. Mum was a JW. However I held my dad on a pedestal. The non JW. To me he was this amazing man. He could do no wrong. If he punished us it was because we really had been naughty. And the punishment was always just. Then he was diagnosed with cancer. And then I realised he was fallible. That was a turning moment for me. I'll never forget it.
Spectrum	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 01:17:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
England Post 304 of 795 Since 12/11/2005	" Then he was diagnosed with cancer. And then I realised he was fallible." Do you mean mortal?
Beck_Melbourne	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 01:20:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Victoria Post 2523 of 2558 Since 2/11/2002	Probably the day I started High School, because apparently, according to my JW mother and grandmother, I was never going to attend High School, the big A was going to be here by then. And now....two of my kids are grown and out of High School and working. Fancy that mum, who would have thought!! ~Beck~
sphere	as Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 01:26:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Washington Post 960 of 1086 Since 1/14/2003	I think is was when i was nine. My Mom remarried and withen a few months we learned what a jerk step-dad was. And so of course Mom couldn't be all that perfect either, she let this guy in our house.
serendipity	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 02:48:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Texas Post 650 of 3960 Since 11/19/2005	Hi spectrum, My parents were abusive and I knew at an early age, maybe 4 or so, that they were unjust in their treatment. I knew that I didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Maybe that's why I've done ok with my life. I also remember thinking around age 10 that there would be no pleasing my perfectionist mother, so why bother. It was just important to stay out of her smacking range.
freedomlover	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 03:25:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Post 256 of 1166 Since 10/11/2005	this was an interesting thread to me because I remember exactly when I realized my mother was a psychopath.... I was 7. had just turned 7 and I was watching her belittle my dad, and then lie to him, and I remember looking at her thinking she was completely crazy. It was quite a scary thing when your 7, but it also was very freeing to me.
LoverOfTruth	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 05:45:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
Ohio Post 355 of 957 Since 3/18/2003	I realized my parents were Fallible when I was about eight years old.. Fortunately, I realized how very "human" my mother really was many years later when she shared with me what it was really like to raise eight children with an alcoholic husband. She died in December of 1999. I wish I had learned about my "real" Mom sooner. (by the way, we weren't JWs)
Spectrum	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Tue, 17 Jan 2006 15:40:00 GMT (1/17/2006)
England Post 309 of 795 Since 12/11/2005	Serendipity, " It was just important to stay out of her smacking range." I know how you feel. When I realised I was getting beatings unjustly and things really weren't my fault I learned to hide under a table or behind a sofa until my dad calmed down cos he wasn't too choosy about which one of us he wacked. Basically guilty by association. When he had his first heart attack my brother and I (in our early teens) were mocking him. I feel great shame for that now because he worked his fingers to the bone for us. It's taught me to be consistent and easy on youngsters. I bet you are extremely loving to your daughter. freedomlover, My father ironed himself out as we grew older but my mother I believe is still a bit crazy. ((((LoverOfTruth)))) I can't imagine what it is like to grow up in that environment.
jojochan	Re: When did it dawn that parents are fallible? posted Wed, 18 Jan 2006 15:30:00 GMT (1/18/2006)
Post 9 of 980 Since 1/17/2006	When I noticed things that were questionable with the borg and tried to reason with them. Even showing them from the publications the flip-flops. Not forcefully, just innocently. They clicked into a whole other mode. then I realized they were normal people that were hurt by the outside world, and escaped to the org. Then raised me in it... thanks folks, really

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