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Joke Awake titles

highdose	Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:58:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 195 of 373 Since 6/6/2009	in honer of a privious thread i thought about trying out some stupid awake titles. Am sure everyone else will do better but here goes... Awake! Cars Horns- is it christlike to honk them? Awake! High Heels- a dangerous threat to our society? Awake! Why do we have belly buttons? Awake! Special edition: How can i donate more to the JW's? 5 points for each title. 10 points if you can think of a magazine presentation for it...
Heaven	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:01:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 1135 of 1211 Since 4/16/2009	"Awake! Is Sleep Overrated?" The article could be about getting 1 hour less sleep a day to dedicate to 'the cause' and spend it out on field service.
highdose	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:04:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 196 of 373 Since 6/6/2009	Awake! do we really need the internet? Awake! You can be brainwashed like these guys on your doorstep too!
EmptyInside	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:37:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 41 of 58 Since 9/26/2009	Hair coloring - Is It For Christians? suggested presentation-Hello, we were talking to our neighbors about an issue that effects all of our lives in one way or another. Many people today color their hair. How do you feel about that? Do you think it's something that would be appoved by God? Allow for response. Well, there is a principle here at 1 Timothy 2:9 explain: Now, this scripture is speaking of women, but the principle applies to men too, now would using harmful chemicals on our body really be using "soundness of mind?"Well, this article in the latest Awake answers this and many other questions regarding hair coloring which is so prevalent today. I'm sure you'll find this article of interest. And if I may, I'd like to stop back and see what you thought of that article. And show you from the Bible how the need for hair coloring will soon be a thing of the past.
RubaDub	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:06:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 2034 of 2062 Since 1/20/2003	The Christian view of toe-nail fungus. Rub a Dub
RubaDub	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:09:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 2035 of 2062 Since 1/20/2003	Self Abuse: Does your left hand know what your right hand is doing ? Rub a Dub
EmptyInside	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:12:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 42 of 58 Since 9/26/2009	Stalking-A Harmful Practice? Vegemite-Just For Australians? Christians and Daylight Savings Time. Made Up Awake Articles, What Does The Bible Teach? Purple Rain-Does It Really Exist?
JeffT	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:32:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Washington Post 3650 of 3721 Since 6/4/2001	"MLM Marketing Programs: Are They Beneficial?" "Hi, I'm here selling magazines about selling more magazines for your religion... "Oh, I'm sorry this doesn't interest you, While I'm here would you like to look at this megavitamin catalog?"
Prov1320	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:59:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Ontario Post 70 of 85 Since 5/20/2008	Google - Pagan origins? TV commercials - Why not appropriate for True Christians? Should we accept medical advice from House or Gray's Anatomy?
keyser soze	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:03:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Wisconsin Post 2360 of 2466 Since 6/13/2007	Erectile Dysfunction- Why it's really a blessing!
donny	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:14:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
California Post 621 of 630 Since 5/4/2005	Reasoning with the Sisters How to be unleavened with vaginal yeast Oral Sex - Wise use of the tongue? Why thinking for yourself can be fatal!
keyser soze	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:16:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Wisconsin Post 2361 of 2466 Since 6/13/2007	PMS- Is it caused by demons?
Prov1320	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:15:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Ontario Post 72 of 85 Since 5/20/2008	A woman's period - unchristian use of blood?
glenster	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:18:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Pennsylvania Post 529 of 606 Since 1/26/2007	Watch Tower ('14): "War isn't a sign of the end...unless there's a really big war." Watchtower ('43): "Jehovah won't permit the formation of Israel as sure as we'll always worship our created Christ." Watchtower ('63): "Satanic Catholics--why the good Lord should kill Bob Newhart and Danny Thomas with bricks." Watchtower ('83): "Sign of the end: Herpes." Reasoning from the Scriptures: "How to talk to a Jew" Should You Believe in the Trinity?: "Let's ask a Hindu guy." Awake!: "The hidden pagan filth of the illustrators of Reader's Digest" Watchtower ('03): "The end has begun ending--when will it end ending?" Awake!: "History's secret members of the Kingdom Hall of the 144,000--the inventor of the break room at Walmart."
Wasanelder Once	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:40:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 2063 of 2102 Since 6/23/2005	Do you love your big screen TV more than Christian meetings? Why? Does God really care about your gas mileage? Will you live to see the end of this system? W.Once
besty	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:52:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
California Post 2329 of 2428 Since 3/3/2005	Holding Hands While Praying - Is It For Everybody? erm...wait a minute....
Goshawk	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:56:00 GMT (10/22/2009)
Post 548 of 599 Since 10/10/2002	Awake! Suicide Bombers - the fastest way to spread the ministry? Awake! Extrasolar Planets, moving where the need is great. Awake! Tampons, are they really Satan's finger? Awake! Universities, what have they got that we can't teach you? Awake! The United Nations and the WT$, is the library big enough for both? Awake! Global Warming, is all the hot air coming from Brooklyn? Awake! Millions living will never die Knock Again!
teel	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:25:00 GMT (10/23/2009)
Post 109 of 179 Since 8/28/2009	Smurfs - The dark truth behind the toys. Defecation - When will it end?
Meeting Junkie No More	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:51:00 GMT (10/23/2009)
Post 680 of 716 Since 7/13/2007	Watchtower ('03): "The end has begun ending--when will it end ending?" LOL
Leolaia	Re: Joke Awake titles posted Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:45:00 GMT (10/23/2009)
Post 13700 of 13813 Since 9/1/2002	Awake! Extrasolar Planets, moving where the need is great. LOL....good one. The classic Awake! title is the "Are Cats For Christians?" parody from JWD.

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