chicken crosses the road

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends--that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side
of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from
Day One -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I ' m going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It
was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's
why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side." That chicken
should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is
much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

#### CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

JESSE JACKSON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

ROFL!!!

From where do you get this stuff?

Sylvia

From a little birdy.  ;-)

Watchtower: "What should chickens keep in mind when crossing roads?  Although the Bible does not specifically talk about chickens crossing roads we can find scriptural guidence if we search God's word.  The chicken should not cross the road unless directed to do so by the elders.  Clearly chaos would result if chickens just started crossing roads whenever they wanted to.  This clearly shows the danger of independent thinking."

(It would go on for about three more paragraphs but I can't write anymore.)

Funny, but I think the chicken needs to try to come back to where he started. Maybe he'll succeed in his attempt to accomplish what he tried to do in the first place.

Those are great.  Let me try to show how this chicken has a spiritual side.

CT rusell:  Whereas the main chamber is 101 pyramid inches wide, therefore we can fairly assume that the road is 101 literal inches wide.  Reliable secular scholars agree w the scriptures that the modern day chicken will defintly cross the road in the fall of 1874.

JF rutherford:  Without a doubt, the modern day chicken class will have fully crossed the road by 1935.  Therafter, the evil chicken class, who refused to cross w the anointed chicken class will go off into destruction.

NH knorr:  Well, i don't know about that, but we are defintely part of the road crossing chicken class.

Fred franz:  Brothers!!!  Will you be a part of the modern day chicken class that makes it to the other side of the ROOAAADDD??!!

S

Guess, i killed another thread, and i didn't even try.

S

Satanus, are you kidding?  95% of my joke threads don't even get one response. 

Circuit Overseer:  Too many of our chickens are focusing on this 'crossing the road.'  Do you know that Satan owns the road and the other side of it?  The end is so close that there is no time to be on Satan's road, stay on the narrow chicken path.  The slave class will give you just the right feed at just the right time on this side of the road.

Local elder: Before crossing the road, chickens should fully research 'crossing the road' and what it means, then check with us.  Perhaps the organization has informed us of problems crossing the road that publishers are not aware of.

The fader: I wasn't there that day.  I missed it.  Sure brother, if you say it crossed the road.

The disfellowshipped JW:
(None of them were listening.)

The pioneer: If there were more chickens on the other side of the road, of course they deserved the truth also.

The low-hours publisher: Well, it was time for a break.

Capt. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Householder: To get away from the pioneers.

Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

I heard a joke a couple of weeks ago,

Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chickens foot...