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abbot and costello on computers

    John Doe abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:20:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit



    Post 12272 of 13238
    Since 4/11/2005

    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

    John Doe Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:52:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit



    Post 12274 of 13238
    Since 4/11/2005

    You all wouldn't know good humor if it humped your nose and flew up a canary's bum. 

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:55:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5301 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:55:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5302 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    he he

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:58:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5303 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:59:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5304 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:01:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5305 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:02:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5306 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    ninja Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:06:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United Kingdom Scotland, Glasgow

    Post 5307 of 5578
    Since 10/5/2006

    VIII Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:09:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit



    Post 581 of 719
    Since 3/9/2009

    {giggle}

    @ 's

     

    coffee_black Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:14:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit


    United States Massachusetts

    Post 2229 of 2274
    Since 2/6/2002

    Thank you John Doe...great stuff!

    Coffee

    compound complex Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:20:00 GMT (10/9/2009) edit




    Post 6571 of 6818
    Since 8/4/2006


    Thank you JD. I grew up with these guys. And Laurel and Hardy were my neighbors.

    CoCo's on second

    John Doe Re: abbot and costello on computers posted Sat, 10 Oct 2009 01:49:00 GMT (10/10/2009) edit



    Post 12287 of 13238
    Since 4/11/2005

    Thanks blacky and coco--you're obviosly from the upper crust--unlike ninja and VIII. 

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