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For Farkel

    John Doe For Farkel posted Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:44:00 GMT (9/28/2009) edit



    Post 12090 of 13238
    Since 4/11/2005

    The Zen of Sarcasm



    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.


    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.


    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.



    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


    5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.


    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.


    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .


    11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.


    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


    13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.


    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.


    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


    17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.


    18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.


    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.


    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.



    22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
    yknot Re: For Farkel posted Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:17:00 GMT (9/28/2009) edit


    Syrian Arab Republic

    Post 5139 of 5639
    Since 8/24/2007

     

    )running along now(
    Farkel Re: For Farkel posted Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:45:00 GMT (9/28/2009) edit




    Post 9676 of 10040
    Since 3/14/2001

    Priceless!

    Farkel
    Hope4Others Re: For Farkel posted Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:47:00 GMT (9/28/2009) edit


    Canada

    Post 4972 of 4987
    Since 1/28/2008

    Funny.....there great!
    EmptyInside Re: For Farkel posted Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:11:00 GMT (9/28/2009) edit



    Post 6 of 61
    Since 9/26/2009

    I really enjoyed reading that, and I'm not Farkel.
    John Doe Re: For Farkel posted Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:41:00 GMT (9/29/2009) edit



    Post 12100 of 13238
    Since 4/11/2005

    Numbers 2 through 5 made me think of Farkel. 

    crapola Re: For Farkel posted Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:45:00 GMT (9/29/2009) edit

    United States Oklahoma

    Post 601 of 656
    Since 1/23/2008

    I enjoyed reading that John Doe.
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