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Jewish mother

aligot ripounsous	Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:44:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 597 of 677 Since 2/10/2007	A jewish mother offers her son 2 shirts, one blue and the other yellow. Son thanks Mum warmly, the two shirts are so beautiful. The next day Son pays Mum a visit, wearing the blue shirt to show her how much he appreciated her gift. But Mum looks very disappointed, even grieved, and says "So Son , you didn't like the yellow shirt ?"
Narkissos	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:49:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 9357 of 9999 Since 9/27/2003	The version I heard was: "I knew you wouldn't like the other one." ;) wondering how this will fare on an international forum
wobble	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:53:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 1133 of 1787 Since 2/20/2008	That just ain't jewish mammas, ANY women thinks that way, don't you girls ? And there is a kind of logic, but chief of all it just shows , us guys cannot win ! Love Wobble
Robdar	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:54:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 7412 of 8558 Since 8/12/2001	Hahahaha. Cute joke. Here's one for you: A good Jewish boy is about to leave his home for law school. His attorney father takes him aside and says, "Son, have fun, study hard, and whatever you do, DO NOT marry a shiksa. " The son goes to law school and sure enough, he meets a non jewish girl and they fall in love. The girl agrees to convert to her betrothed's religion. The conversion goes well, they marry, and are quite happy. One Saturday, the father calls his son and wants to know why he isn't in the office with him working. The son answers, "My wife says it is wrong to work on the Sabbath and so I will not be into work today." His father replies, "I told you not to marry a shiksa."
aligot ripounsous	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:10:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 598 of 677 Since 2/10/2007	Hei, Nark, I'm not jewish but I found it so hilarious when I heard it on the radio from Roger Hanin (to JWNers, french actor of North african jewish extraction). Thanks Rodbar for this one.
Robdar	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:19:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 7415 of 8558 Since 8/12/2001	wondering how this will fare on an international forum LOL. I am Jewish and not insulted. I was a wee bit insulted last night though when Fred Phelps' minions picketed across the street from my synagogue. I thank the kind Christians who showed up to support us and attend service with us.
Robdar	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:30:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 7416 of 8558 Since 8/12/2001	Bubbe (Yiddish for grandmother) was directing her granddaughter who was visiting her for the first time how to find her apartment in her new Florida condo. "Darling, come to the front of the complex. There's a panel by the door. With your elbow, push 14T. The elevator is on the right. With your elbow, hit 14. When you get out I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell." "No problem, Bubbe...but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?" "What...? You're coming empty-handed?!"
aligot ripounsous	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:50:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 599 of 677 Since 2/10/2007	Nobody can beat a Jew to tell jewish jokes. Please Rodbar, tell your Jew JWN friends to join in.
Robdar	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:19:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 7418 of 8558 Since 8/12/2001	Nobody can beat a Jew to tell jewish jokes. Please Rodbar, tell your Jew JWN friends to join in. Aligot, I think I am the only Jew around here now that Moshe is gone. BTS has Jewish soul but he's a bona fide Catholic.
Robdar	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:26:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 7419 of 8558 Since 8/12/2001	A Jewish town had a shortage of men so they had to import them. One day a groom to be arrived by train and two prospective mothers-in-law, Bella and Dora, were waiting, each claiming ownership of him. The rabbi was called to solve the problem. "There is only one solution," said the rabbi. "We shall divide him in two and give each of you a piece." At this, Bella threw up her hands, screaming, "No! Give him to Dora!" "Ah ha!" said the rabbi. "Done! The one willing to cut him in half is the real mother in law!"
aligot ripounsous	Re: Jewish mother posted Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:50:00 GMT (6/27/2009)
Post 600 of 677 Since 2/10/2007	Not from my own stock, Google's jewish jokes site : A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs." The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the Rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork." The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The Priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The Rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" The Priest replied, "Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith." The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, "A lot better than pork isn't it?"

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