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Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses

    moomanchu Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Mon, 13 Nov 2006 23:09:00 GMT (11/13/2006) edit


    United States Pennsylvania

    Post 479 of 1391
    Since 7/10/2004
    >Thought these were funny, please ignore if they're old news

    >

    >

    > These are some jokes that Jeff Foxworthy had to say about Jehovah's

    > Witnesses.

    >

    > The fact is that they are somewhat accurate. Although he is famous for

    > doing hillbilly redneck jokes, he must have a relative that is a Witness.

    >

    >

    > YOU MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....

    >

    >

    >

    >

    > ..."pioneer" is not a stereo

    >

    >

    >

    > ..."New Light" is not something in the housewares department, and "tract"

    > has nothing to do with land or farming.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the

    > Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.

    >

    >

    >

    > ..."Memorial Day" isn't in May.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't

    > even have a beer.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same

    > sentence.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.

    >

    >

    > ...you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop and bathroom for four

    > towns around.

    >

    >

    > ...you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.

    >

    >

    > ...you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are

    > displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.

    >

    >

    > ...you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how

    > comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in

    > 95-degree heat.

    >

    >

    > ...you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.

    >

    >

    > ...you have a shelf just for 192-page books.

    >

    >

    > ...you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking

    > up a pencil or highlighter too.

    >

    >

    >

    > ...you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study."

    >

    >

    > ...you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties."

    >

    > ...after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a

    > mess and you have more food than when you started.

    >

    > ...you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.

     
    BCZAR2ME Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Mon, 13 Nov 2006 23:18:00 GMT (11/13/2006) edit




    Post 91 of 294
    Since 10/31/2006
    you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.

    How macabre!

    bczar
    willyloman Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 00:05:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States California

    Post 2547 of 3988
    Since 6/19/2003

    Hate to be the one to break it to you, but the source for this is NOT Foxworthy. It's a take-off or spook of Foxworthy's classic "might be a redneck" that's been floating around the web for a long time. It IS funny, though!
    TheOldHippie Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:45:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit




    Post 1141 of 2156
    Since 1/31/2001
    Now THAT was funny !
    crazyblondeb Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:43:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Missouri

    Post 1859 of 5965
    Since 4/29/2005
    snoopy    stars   Dancing BananaDancing Banana         rolling   rolling
    vitty Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:59:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit




    Post 2263 of 2699
    Since 5/29/2004

     

     

    Ive seen this before,  its very good but you really would have to be a witness or ex to write it or understand it

     
    AK - Jeff Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 13:01:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Indiana

    Post 3754 of 11704
    Since 11/19/2004
    its very good but you really would have to be a witness or ex to write it or understand it

    Vitty - I wish I didn't understand it.

    Jeff

    moshe Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 13:39:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Indiana

    Post 807 of 9907
    Since 1/18/2005
    My kids have been out for over 10 years and sometimes still forget my birthday- But I don't buy it for one minute- you see my son and I have the same birthday. I think  that the JW cheapness  has still stuck to them a little. They have no problem celebrating their own birthdays either.  This year I have made up special  magnetic calendars  for all of us that have all our birthdays on them- no excuses  for 2007.
    rebel8 Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 14:26:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States New York

    Post 4322 of 9257
    Since 1/13/2005
    I've read these on jw forums.  Personally I think this is another jw urban legend; I don't believe Foxworthy really made up these jokes.
    ButtLight Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 15:33:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States

    Post 2997 of 4399
    Since 3/18/2005
    you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are

    > displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.

    This one has me laughing.  Cant you just see them sticking tracts in the displays? 
    LovesDubs Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:06:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Florida

    Post 1293 of 2248
    Since 2/27/2001
    Not Foxworthy.
    daystar Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:27:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Texas

    Post 4369 of 5186
    Since 6/22/2005

    I can't find anything on www.snopes.com on this, but it's highly unlikely the Foxworthy had anything to do with this.

    Still, funny...
    MsMcDucket Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:16:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit




    Post 2199 of 6811
    Since 10/10/2005
     ...you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't

    > even have a beer.

    How depressing.
    mama1119 Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:45:00 GMT (11/14/2006) edit


    United States Idaho

    Post 828 of 1227
    Since 3/21/2006
    It wouldn't be funny to just anybody.  I doubt he did it, but it is funny.
    aquagirl Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Wed, 29 Nov 2006 23:15:00 GMT (11/29/2006) edit


    Azerbaijan

    Post 116 of 1518
    Since 2/1/2006
    whoever wrote it,its a hoot!!!
    hambeak Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Wed, 29 Nov 2006 23:20:00 GMT (11/29/2006) edit


    United States Texas

    Post 727 of 1104
    Since 3/7/2006
    That is great and he is truly funny and your right it is so stereotypically true of dubs
    Anitar Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Jehovah Witnesses posted Wed, 06 Dec 2006 14:51:00 GMT (12/6/2006) edit


    United States New York

    Post 233 of 324
    Since 4/18/2006

          ...you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.

    Oh my God my mom lets them do that. She actually gave them a key once and they walked right in the door. My brother shot one of them, but he missed.

    Suffice it to say they never did that again
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