You Can't Get It Back

Joel, yours is another sad story to add to the list.  I wonder if there is one person who was raised in dubland that has left that doesn't feel their childhood was jacked.

YUP, my childhood was definitely jacked too.  It started out "normal", we were not JW's, until I was about 10. Then, the walls came crumbling down, no more school plays, especially Christmas ones, no more playing with my schoolfriends....no more holidays or birthdays....no more dreams of college or university...."must focus on spiritual progress and armaggeddon....it's right around the corner, you know".....  My kids are living the life I never had, my boys are playing football, and going to birthday parties. They have lots of friends and sleepovers.....it's nice. I sure wished I'd  had the chance to further my education when I was younger..... My kids have that choice.

   Delilah

god this thread brings back some pains...

i scored the second highest in my school on my ACT test.  my counselor said that i was a shoe in for Delta State University, which is where i wanted to go with all my heart.  i wanted to study psychology....so i go home and tell my mother, she starts freaking out and hauls my butt to the back room w/ the eldorks next meeting.  they reminded me that i wouldn't be able to finish my schooling before armageddon and that i could ''do psychology door to door, counseling the poor people of this evil system.''

i'd have less than a year left of school now...

after that, i just quit caring about school, and i guess it started to show.  i skipped a lot and was always in detention.  my grades slipped drastically almost overnight.  my parents finally pulled me out of school, when i finished my 11th grade year.  i did get my GED and all that...but it'll never be the same.  i didn't get my cap and gown, thousands of people didn't clap when i got my diploma in the mail, and the only celebration i got was a ''well of course you passed it jobeth.  it's not that hard'' from my mother.

gee...thanks mom.

now that i'm on my own and i can devote as much time and energy to my job as i want, i'm doing just that.  my goal is to be promoted in a year or less. 

luv, jojo

Thanks everyone for sharing.  This has always been a big issue with me.  Long before I left the dubs I started feeling angry that I hadn't gone to college.  I actually made a good living working as a computer programmer, but that's not the point.  I didn't follow my dream.  I could have done it.  No one held a gun to my head, but when one is 18 he or she needs support from family and friends.  The only way to get that support was to follow the dub-line.  Like I said earlier in this thread, I've done it in my old age, but it's just not the same.  Even so, I don't regret having started at age 50.

Congratulations ChrisVance.  I’m glad to hear that despite the lost time that you’re moving forward and doing what you feel you need to do.

  Jobeth, it’s not to late for you to buckle down and pursue your dreams.  Your still very young and the longer you wait the harder it becomes to make the necessary changes for a career switch or a college education.  Ten or twelve years flies by so quickly.  When you’re 35 you’ll kick your self for not acting when you were 20.

Big Dog, it's like you've captured my thoughts perfectly with the initial post in this thread!  I, too, wanted to do little league baseball and other kid sports, but was denied that because practice/games would interfere with meetings and field service, and we all know what our parents' priorities in life were.  Jehovah, not family.  Jehovah, not the well-being of your kids.  Jehovah, not your own sanity.  Oh, and "Jehovah," actually means the Watchtower corporate entities.

I doubt Roger Clemens was stressed about possibly having to compete with me for a job, but it pisses me off that I never even had the opportunity to dream of being a pro athlete or other dream careers thanks to this corporate cult.  The anger associated with being denied that and other opportunities never seems to go away, no matter how hard I try to make it go away or how much success I achieve in life.   There's always the question of "what if the cancer that is the Watchtower cult hadn't been a part of my life?"  And it's a question that makes me feel like heading to Bethel with a sledge hammer to level their headquarters personally, one floor at a time.

Yes, I'm a lot happier now that I've been out of the Watctower cult for about a quarter century.  I've done well professionally and personally, but I've never been able to completely eliminate the anger that this childhood instilled in me.    I try my best to keep it under wraps, but it's restrained, not eliminated.  And due to continued familial involvement in this despicable cult, I am constantly reminded of the past and how much I hate the Watchtower cult and the excrement that runs it.  That reminder keeps the wounds open, and the anger well-fed.

Wow kittyeatzjdubs, my story's very similar,

This thread really hits home,

Bloody good point.

I totally agree.

Nothing short of THEFT of the best days of your life.  Thats why you have to work twice as hard at enjoying whats left and not letting anything spoil it.

Not a JW, but my childhood was cut short by my mother's mental illness and then I got pregnant in my teens.  It's never too late to break the cycle.  I figure I am living my second childhood now.

^{Luke 17:2 (NIV)}It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.

 

I've come to the same conclusion myself, over the past year.

We were denied our full potentials as JW youth. It's truely sick! But we can make sure that it doesn't happen to our children. Break the cycle folks!

Yes agreed.  I take voyeuristic pleasure in my daughter going to as many birthday parties as possible, doing ballet, tap classes, riding lessons, violin lessons, and playing out until bedtime, and sleeping in on a saturday morning until ANY time she can be bothered to get out of bed.  Its great.

Geez, I was just thinking about this last night as I watched my 14 year old son play in the homecoming football game. He had 4 sacks and ran in two touchdowns. My 11 year daughter was all dressed up in the school colors and wore one of her brother's old football jerseys. All night long she was running up and down the stands with all of her "worldly" friends scream the home team on. His team won 46 - 20. The atheletic / scholastic memories and opportunities both of them will have because I chose not to raise them as Jdubs will be worth the price I had to pay.

My JW mother once made a comment that I'm "trying to live my life through my kids." She just doesn't get it. It's not that at all. Simply put, I don't want my kids to miss out on what I was forced to miss out on. I remember being 10 or 11 years old, sitting in a tree, watching the little league games, wish I was allowed to play. I thought it was so cool that they got to wear uniforms like real basebal players. I remember being one of the best flag football players in jr. high but not being allowed to play organized, tackle football. I remember coaches and friends staring at me with puzzled looks on their faces as I tried to explain to them why I was want allowed to play high school football or any other sport. Probably the worst one was my brother getting A's in all his classes through high school and then deciding not to go to college. It's crazy. It's unforgiveable.

 

The thing that is insane is that its not like we were asking our parents if we could sell crack, or rob a liquor store, or shot some heroin for God's sake, all we wanted to do was maybe play some ball or go to a frigging dance or whatever.  I mean, a religion that has a problem with those sorts of activities is just really out there. 

Also, the groups that deny their children medical treatment for illnesses, well, that's just sick.  They should not be allowed to breed in my opinion. 

You want to be a freak as an adult, be my guest, refuse medical treatment, divorce yourself from the world, live in a cave, whatever, as an adult that's your choice, but don't drag children down into your private hells.

No, you can't get it back. You can't get back the "good stuff" you think you missed, the "good times" you had, or anything else for that matter. But you can live your life right now in this very moment without regret about the past or anxiety about the future. Right here, right now - that's all you've got and all you'll ever have. Let the past go, let the future take care of itself, live life now, it's all there is.