My Dad Isn't There Anymore

(((((((((((((((BRENDA))))))))))))))    We are going through the same thing with my grandfather, although he is in the nursing home. He does not know us, he can get very violent, and when they drug him, he sleeps all the time.....I hate seeing him like this. It's not him, and if he knew how he was acting, he'd be horrified. My mom and her siblings can't handle it. So they don't visit him very often. I see him every day. I don't like to see him like this either, but I love him dearly. He's my hero.

      Delilah 

So sorry Brenda for what you are going through. 

Both of my grandmothers died of Alzheimer's and it's a cruel and unforgiving way to die.  My mother took care of my grandmother (actually her grandmother who raised her as her own) until she was placed in a home (mother didnt want to but she had to because taking care of my grandmother (who was actually my great-grandmother) meant mother also had to take care of my real grandmother (Grandma's daughter, who is mentally unstable) and my brother (who is mentally and phyisically disabled).  Before Grandma was placed, when she would have moments of lucidity, she would cry because she knew what was happening to her. 

 *Sob* I miss my Grandma!

Josie

I lost my maternal grandmother to Alzheimers, my maternal grandfather to kidney failure. {{{{{Brenda}}}}}

My mother died as a result of Alzheimer's this past February.  It is so hard to watch them slip away from you inch by inch.  The only saving grace is that you do your grieving for each piece of them that you lose, and by the time they die it's a relief that they are finally done with their torturous journey.  The other blessing is that they are not aware of any pain that their failing bodies may be experiencing.

Stay strong, Brenda.

Hugs,

Nina

((((((((((Brenda)))))))))

It must be extremely hard for you to watch your dad this way. You are in my thoughts in prayers.

karen

((((((((Brenda)))))))))

My MIL volunteers at the local Alzheimer's nursing home with her therapy dogs.  She always has the neatest (and sometimes sad) stories of the characters that live in that facility.  One sweet lady, that reminds her of the granny in Wedding Singer, always asks, "What kind of dog is that?" My MIL patiently answers every week, "It's a Newfoundland."  And the lady always smiles real big and says, "There was a lady here just last week with a dog like that."    My sweet MIL sits and talks with her Alzheimer friends every Saturday morning.  Sometimes they remember her, sometimes they don't.  She has the patience of a saint as she has the same conversations with some of them week after week.  It does her soul good to do it as many of these patients do not have family check in on them as they get advanced in their illness.  It's one of the reasons why I adore my MIL.  She's such an amazing woman.

I'm so glad you made your peace with your dad while he was well.  I'm sure it's a good feeling.

Andi

Oh hun, thats terriable...thinking of you

es

Sorry Brenda...can't come up with much to say but that.

Sorry about the situation with your father. I will pray for him.

 

 Here is a tract that can be read to anyone:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/74945/1.ashx

 

 

Brenda,

Warm hugs for this bad period in your life.  I went through the life ending periods with both my parents some years ago.  It was extremely draining.  I cared for both of them till the end in my own home.  It certainly deteriorated my own health though.  Your Mom caring for your Dad will weaken her further.  I think this is why so many spouses pass on shortly after their mates die. 

Warm Hugs,

Balsam

(((Brenda)))

If there is any way I can help, let me know. I'm available for phone calls during the day.

Respectfully,

OldSoul

I am sorry Brenda  and have wanted to ask how he was doing but did not want to bring it up . I have never had loving parents so i can't say i know how you are hurting but know that i am very sad for you and love you.

Hey brenda, I know just how you feel.  A while ago I started a thread about my mom.  She has a rare disease that shrinks the brain, and has the same symtoms.  Its really hard to watch them go downhill and forget so much.  My mom isnt that bad yet, but will be soon, so I feel for you!  Hang in there! 

Brenda,

Hey sweetie.  I remember us talking maybe a year ago?  (I got divorced and changed my name so that's why you prob don't recognize the name.)   I went to Irvington Cong and my grandparents to Mocks Crest, so I've met your dad quite a few times.  He was an intelligent man, and he was always kind to me.  Even though I must have known him when I was very young and don't remember talking to him too much, I've always always just held this impression of a kind and caring grandpa'ish man who I really liked.  The world will be a little quieter and sadder without him. 

My grandpa died of Alzheimers (or something very like it) and I remember how much it hurt my mom.  What do they call it, the long goodbye?  And every bit of it hurts and is terrible.

Hang in there dear woman, you have the love of everyone here. 

Love, Cady

I am so sorry Brenda. You are in my thoughts

Thank you all so very much.  I appreciate your love and support.  It means a great deal to me.

 

I havent' been over there in a couple weeks.  time to go again.

 

Hgs

B