News

I've really enjoyed the conversations about music, poetry, movies, books and short storys. I thought it would be interesting to read about little known news from around the world, so I'll start with some from the tiny dot where I live on this ball of mud we call earth.

I just read in the paper this morning that the people of Port Clinton, Ohio are celebrating New Years by dropping a 500 pound fiberglass Walleye fish into Lake Erie. We people here in Ohio have a certain panache.

The tornado in Xenia, Ohio this summer missed my daughter's house by a block and a half. I was on the phone with her when the storm hit. It happened so fast that there was no warning on radio or tv.

They are doing a good thing in Xenia. Dectectives go into a chat room and pose as young girls. So far this year, they have arrested 14 men who drove from all over the state thinking they had a date with a 14 year old girl, but ended up having a date with the judge. I hope other cities take up this practice.

It's great in Dayton; TV2 loves you.

Hey larc,

Thanks for your local news, glad to hear your daughter did ok. Xenia got hit with massive tornados couple of decades ago, didn't they? Love the midwest during the spring storms.

certain, curious panache. Why...........

Important fact left out by you, prof. Male or female dectectives?

waiting - with no news

Waiting,

Don't know the gender of the detectives. It was internet writing and they were convincing enough to snare 14 bad guys is all I know.

Send news from the Carolinas.

Hey larc,

Well, it's not new news, but still interesting. Ever hear of The Citadel? Private military college, all male and damned proud of it, by God! Well, almost private, part of their funding is state supported. Anyway, about 4 yrs. ago, a girl had the audacity to try to go there. Terrible rucus - nasty bumper stickers on the redneck trucks etc. All the news. She finally left, sick and disgraced. The local men, and some women were righteously pleased that she failed.

Interestingly, the next year, there were approx. 5 women accepted. Last year around 25. All is still, the women doing well. The first woman finally re-entered another co-ed unversity and is doing well also.

South Carolina also had the Confederate State Flag flying on the State Courthouse until last summer. Perhaps you heard of the NAACP boycotting us, etc? Well, they finally concluded to move it to another site - had to be still visible and proud. I would suspect millions of dollars in wasted money was spent trying to figure out what to do with that flag.

We're known for our progressive ways 'round these parts.

waiting

Hey in a very very very small town in NC
Biggest news we have that is upsetting me: local high school paper young student wrote an article on legalization of new r-486(?) abortion pill, this article was edited by journalism teacher and principle before printing. Local sponsor of paper removed his ads from several businesses because he was offended and wanted the paper to write another article to apologize. Mind you this man practically owns this town and enforces his beliefs on anyone including and not limited to closing businesses if they dont become or live the life of christians.
Well I am very proud of the school refusing him. Latest news is the kids are gonna boycott his stores!! One store being an athletic store mostly geared towards young adults. I hope they are successful(go underdogs:))
Hey I told you very small town! But it did show up on front page of paper
mommy

Waiting,, - Some Ohio and South Carolina News

Ryan Brewer from Troy, Ohio (twenty miles north of Dayton) was voted the most valuable player in high school by the associated press. His first college choice was Ohio State, but for some unkown reason they didn't want him so he went to South Carolina. Last year he was voted most valuable freshman. This year he may be South Carolina's most valuable player. Jan 1 at 11:00 AM Ohio State plays South Carolina, and I hope that Ryan, the Yankee, helps South Carolina beat Ohio State's Buckeye Butts.

EVERYONE ELSE - HOW ABOUT SOME LITTLE KNOWN NEWS FROM AROUND THE STATES AND AROUND THE WORLD.

For the Love of the South USA

1. Blue Laws (born of Baptists). Until 'bout 5 yrs. ago., retail stores couldn't be open on Sunday. Now Sunday afternoons. No hard liquor sales after sundown/before sunup. Liquor stores do not have names - just a Big Red Dot above doors. SC still have the little bottles in bars, etc. (like on airplanes). No restaurant in our city serves beer on Sunday.

2. Barbeque. Everybody argues over whether it should be mustard based, vinegar based, or ketchup based. Being a yankee, I just thought it was "naturally" dark red colored out of the Heinz bottle.

3. Grits. Everywhere.

4. Ice Tea. A restaurant is rated on it's goodness. Always served already sugared. Sure sign of being in the South. Sure sign of being in yankeeland is non-sweetened ice tea. Southerners don't like that at all and are quite vocal about this disturbance. I've known people who were so glad to be back from yankeeland just so that they could order sweetened ice tea again.

5. All men refer to themselves and other men, no matter how old and decrepit, as "boys."

6. Southerners will stop 4 friggin' lanes of traffic (both ways) for a funeral procession to pass. However, they will not pull over/stop for an ambulance at full speed.

7. Southerners do not use turn signals and wonder why the heck people honk at them when they drive through yankeeland.

8. Snowbirds. Y'all come South to get away from the winter - we like you - we just act like we don't. We say "tourist" under our breath if we have to go to Myrtle Beach (which locals won't do, btw.)

I know this is not news - but it's local ways, however odd. I don't know of any news except we don't have any snow!

waiting

Edited by - waiting on 1 January 2001 1:30:31

Hey Waiting, that was great stuff. I'll bet that our friends from the UK and Australia would enjoy knowing these little known facts.

Liquar Laws: In Ohio you can order a drink as late as you want as long it is finished by 2:30 AM. In Michigan, you can't order a drink after 2:00, even though the bar closes at 2:30. This is takes too much forward planning for a Buckeye. A friend of mine from Kansas told me that her state is so dry that airplanes flying overhead can't serve drinks. Kentucky is a curious state, dry counties mixed in with counties with bourbon factories in them.

Grits: My wife likes 'em; I don't care for 'em. Her mother is from Kentucky so she probably had them at home.

Iced tea: Are they too damned lazy to sweeten their own tea when they are up north?

Barbeque: I loved barbeque I've had in the South, and I don't even know which type I had.

My favorite southern city: Savannah

Thanks again for the info.

Hey guys and gals, jump in the fray.

(Thinkers Wife)
I have lived north (raised in PA.) and kind of south. (WV and VA)
I personally absolutely love the vinegar based barbeque.
In WV when you are driving down the road everyone waves and you should wave back, it's the "law".
You can be served liquor until 2:30 am in VA. They sell wine and beer in the grocery store here, if it is a 24 hour store, the 2:30 law applies. Wine and beer can be bought on Sundays at the grocery but not at 7-11 in WV, until 1:00. Some old blue law.
TW

Hey TW,

We have stupid gnats that swarm during the summer, and by the ocean, they're called sand gnats - tend to bite. Anyway, if you have the audacity to wear mascara during the summer outside, and it doesn't slide off in the heat - the stupid gnats fly so close to your eyes, they tend to get their stupid little feets stuck on your warm, sticky mascara. It's so gross.

About waving - locals laugh about yankees thinking their so friendly, waving and all that. "We're just waving the gnats away." I was working outside, waving gnats away, and some person went by and waved at me. "Well, I'll be - those yankees really do think we're waving at them!"

We have several people from NC here.

waiting

Edited by - waiting on 1 January 2001 9:32:6

I must admit I am not a true redneck:( I am an import from dare I say? NY truely yankee but shunned it at 18 when I moved here:)
we have a saying here Northerners are like hemmoroids~when they come down and go back up they are ok. But when they come down and stay down they are a pain in @#$:)
mommy

Mommy, Mommy

You are sooooo cute. In Ohio everyone south of Dayton are 'briars' - exception: Cincinnati where the population is half briar and half yankee. Only a few briars make it the 50 miles north to Dayton - when heading north on I-75 they see the sign saying
"Dayton Left - so they turn around and go home to the hills.

P.S. I'm selling my jewels to buy those two beautiful rugrats! Thanks for the pic. Your "Grandmommy" Zaz

Grandmommy,
Thanx you know I do have to pay for christmas:)
mommy
p.s.~I am glad Grandpappy is sharing the keyboard now, continue the wisdom:)

This has turned into a North-South newletter. I was hoping to get news from other places. I know that the people on the East and West Coast think that people from the midwest and south are just a bunch of hay seeds, but I'll tell you what if you coastal folks get on our case, we'll be on you like a duck on a June Bug....ooops, I think I just used a hay seed phrase.

Waiting,

Well Ryan Brewer did it. He ran and caught passes for 214 yards, scored three touchdowns and was voted the games most valuable player.

I have a quote from yesterday's paper: "Brewer has been inundated with phone calls and e-mails wishing him luck. He said, 'I have a couple friends that are Ohio State fans, and they all called and said, heck with Ohio State, we're going with the Gamecocks for this one."
I just wanted to let you know that I was not the only Yankee that deserted the Northern cause that is Ohio State.

Hey larc,

Spoken like a true yankee. Yankees! ya'll don know squat 'bout tea.

It takes **time** for the sugar to dissolve and not just sit at the bottom of the glass. Any suth'nr will tell ya that.

Btw., we have a unique pest here that I think the story goes came from South American. The Cursed Fire Ant. Not to be confused with a regular "small" ant, the regular "regular" ant, or the "red" ant. We got 'em all. No - The Cursed Fire Ant builds mounds which also go ye gods deep, and if by misfortune an innocent person steps in them, within seconds they're crawling up your leg. If not caught, they head up the body - stinging all the damned way. Leave blisters on the skin. If scratched, they pop open, blister bigger, and it goes on for days. Scars will normally result. Can always tell a gardner by the stupid pock-like marks on ankles and wrists. Well, at least the dumb gardners like me. People spend fortunes on Fire Ant Killer and stories abound on legends on how to kill them. But you can't kill them completely - they just move to another location week later.

Buckeye State? I'm originally from the Hoosier State. I don't know what SC State is called, probably the Myrtle Beach State.

Savannaugh is a neat old city, love walking on the old waterfront. Been to Charleston? Just as neat - or neater. Uppidity down there, though.

waiting

ps: Part of the fight slogan for University of South Carolina Gamecocks is "Go Cocks." The school finally forbade hats and shirts that just said "Cocks" on them (usually by male students).

A girlfriend of mine in Indiana just laughed when I told her that. She said, "Only in the South."

waiting

Edited by - waiting on 1 January 2001 17:57:0

RHW - Where are you? Got a story that might get you to land here.

Last summer I tryed to get up on this horse, and although offical government policy is to say no to drugs, I was thrown and drug. My wife came over to try to help. She hadn't ridden in 5 years. She was drug free. You know, I think I would have been killed if the manager of K Mart hadn't come over and unplugged that thing.

Waiting,
My precious angel daughter was 9 months old,crawling in the grass, unknowingly right into a fire ant hill. I was in kitchen washing dishes watching her in yard little did I know what was about to happen. As I am watching I see my husband RUNNING up to her grabbed her and put her under the water hose. I went out there not knowing what was going on but all I could hear was her screaming and watched her being drenched with water.
When all was said and done she had over 70 bites on her body. Bless her heart and STILL has scars today:(
For those of you who have never been bitten by a fire ant ....Let me tell you they don't get that name for nothing!!! It hurts WORSE than the dickens.
Needless to stay if ya'll venture south....
STAY AWAY FROM RED DIRT MOUNDS!!!!
mommy

larc,
Stop that! Have you ever tried typing while laughing? It's not easy.

I was going to offer a real news story. Well, I don't know how new it is, but it's new to me.
It seems the US has a problem. We're running out of storage space for radioactive waste and contaminated metals. The solution? Sell the radioactive metals to recyclers. There are guidelines concerning how radioactive the metals can be, but the companies involved are lobbying diligently to get those guidelines changed and unsupervised. In the meanwhile, the metals that aren't safe for us American's are being sold to companies in third world nations where the standards are much lower. The metal is used for eyeglasses, tooth filings, fountain pens etc.
Come to think of it, it might solve another problem. Once people start glowing we won't need to turn on as many lights at night. Just think of the energy we'll save.

waiting,
I worked for a while with some Southern boy's. This CA native thought he was on another planet. Are all of y'all down there that witty? What does it, the water? If so, I want some.

mommy,
I agree with ZazuWitts. I think you are soooooo cute too! I'm too old for you but I think you're cute anyways.

OVB(blushing after typing the comment to mommy)

Blush away Grandpappy,
A weekend with the rugrats will get your face VERY RED!!!!!!!!!
mommy

Mommy,
Now listen child, you can't take to calling
OVB grandpappy - he's single and not that old - larc is your grandpappy cause he's married to your grandmommy (at least for the time being).
Awful to hear about the fire ant story-
we lived in Miami, Florida - fire ants, fleas, lice, cockroaches, tree frogs dropping in your hair, and snakes getting under the jalousie windows -
and I'm a red head, never could tan so the sun was not my thing - did become a good swimmer though - went to the Univ. of Miami pool almost every morning very early - practically had the place to myself..... Take care.