microphones were the last straw

It wasn't the big stuff that made me decide I could never go back, it was one little thing. I have been thinking about my journey out of "the truth", and I think I can pin-point the last straw.



I had been out for years, but always thinking that if I got my head together someday I would be good enough to go back. In the meantime I went to college, an all women college. Sure, the education should have been enough, but while there I worked in the AV/media department. I was setting up PA systems for huge events, hooking up computers, I even soldered mic connections in the wall.



Then I accepted an invitation from my parents to attend a meeting, and I noticed that only men (boys really) were allowed to control the microphones. Being raised JW, I should have already known about this, but I had never paid any attention. I asked my parents and learned that this was a way that young JW men could work up the ladder. I knew at that moment that this was a religion that I could never live with, simply because they wouldn't let me set up the microphones.



In the bigger picture, I know microphones are silly, and Freud would have some opinions about the whole thing.



Anyone else with examples of being "stumbled" by the little things?

Ivy... my last straw was not being allowed to have a goatee.

Yep, hair above the lips is acceptable, hair below the lips is not.

Was such a small thing, but it led to my downfall (hehe) from the "Truth".

FMZ

Yes, I was stumbled by little things, like who was getting drunk  in the borg. You know though that men are really better at electical things which women don't understand?

(ducks and covers) hehe

Yep. My wife says I'm not allowed to shave off my beard. So that counts me out right there.

Hey! My microphone is very important to me!

Roger that,the roving mike assignments and "working up the ladder" was the way to get a better "rating" and get a better "rated" sister..

The elder (cult high disciple) who delegated the assignments OWNED you.

If you didn't get "responsibilities" you didn't get the share of the three P's.

What's the 3 P's?They are the the engine that drives all carnal cults like Jehovah's Witnesses.

The trifecta of the 3 P's:POWER,PRESTIGE and P***Y

There i said it,it's repulsive and it's the damn truth.I was a devout JW for ony one reason,to serve Jesus Christ my Lord and to see the world become a better place for all mankind and animals.

I was NOT in it for the 3P's.That's why im out.

Tell the truth and don't be afraid,Undaunted Danny

There was an incident that got me going on the road, it wasn't the final straw but it was that very important first straw.

After the meeting to formally disfellowship my formerly elder husband.  I went up to the overseer and said, "Well I guess we can't go to Poland.  Our family had been "chosen" to go on some trip to Poland to represent the U.S witnesses/visit those less fiscally fortunate.  It was 1989.  Anywho I had been through the most awful events possible during the previous weeks and my poor shattered brain focused on the trip.

The overseer said I can't really give you the answer, it wouldn't be proper.  He walked over to my newly disfellowshipped husband and told him, with me standing right there that we couldn't go to Poland. 

my last straw was the 4 yrs my ex was df'd for adultry . other than the one elders meeting to find out what i knew of the affair, how long i knew, if i helped it along in anyway etc, the elders didnt counsel me, meet with me, call me, invite me and my kids into their homes for the 4 yrs,  help me in ANY way .i learned the hard way that they are number counters and money counters and not loving shepards.

Candidly,

Me too!!

I say the same thing to my hubbie, professor.

Danny, good point about microphone handling being the sign of a good spiritual husband in the Borg.  If a brother didn't qualify for that he was nothing.  Of course, they would let those brothers read at the book study rather than the most spiritual sister. 

Blondie

This was not the last straw but I remember taking a management course where it was explained that just because someone asks you to do something for them does not mean you have to do it. I had always been a good little JW and took whatever crap assignment the Elders dumped on me. As a family man, business owner, and the Account Servant I felt I had hit the limit of what should be asked of me, so when this one Elder came up to me and told me he needed me to do this extra work I told him I would take a pass. He was stunned! He walked away all pissy. I felt great for not letting him bully me into doing something I did not want to do. It was very empowering. From then on I never did anything I did not wish to do. I felt no guilt, I was doing more than most of the brothers were and told the Elders so when they would try to talk to me about having a willing spirit. I put my family ahead of the WTS and this is a very bad thing with them!

Maverick,

That was extremely funny!  Your style of writing is highly entertaining!!!!  I told him I would take a pass.  HA   He walked away all pissy!!!

Double Ha- I guess that would be Ha Ha

It started for me when I started growing hair on my face and couldn't understand why it was nesicary to shave.  I always questioned authority and disliked following rules when the rules seemed to have no purpose or logical reason to follow them.  In time I realised it wasn't so much that God required me to shave, but the cong. required me to, to show my humility to God's *gack* instruction *gack*.

Kwin

blondie that is so right (and so wrong if you get my drift)...in my ex-group is a bro who is not allowed to do mikes but reads at group..i didnt get to read at the group and i was pioneering and doing mikes (and im a great reader)

candid and squinks...im sorry that happened to you and i know what you mean cause thanks to me that happened to my wife too....i was the adulterer but the elders were only interested in running around accommadating the 'innocent' victim and her loud mouth mother...i remember when i was being denied reinstatement for the umpteenth time i said to the commitee if they could see their way to giving my wife as the real innocent victim here some support since they were limiting my ability to do so even though i was prepared to...so did they??  did they f***?? bastards...only ever called her to find out if there was any dirt they could get on me to extend my df

squinks...we didnt get to poland either...only those in good standing could...and we weren't for an entirely different reason even though we were both regular pioneers and i was appointed elder within the year

tijkmo of the cant make this stuff up no-one would believe you class

That is because that was probably the only "privilege" that poor guy was allowed to do.  Mikes was a better assignment.  Of course, there is an exception to everything; congregation BOEs are allowed great latitude within their own congregations.  I knew a WT conductor that hand-picked his mike handlers.  They had to be quick, not clumsy, and dressed impeccably.  I saw him once unassign a brother and have an elder do it because the mike handler's shoes were too casual (brown leather).

tjikimo, maybe they were trying to tell you something; that you were better suited to assignments that required no speaking.

Love Blondie

The blood issue was it for me.  Although there were many other things, I started really thinking about their obsession with not taking blood.  I mean it was an obsession...what about the Gospel?

Tijkmo,

You were looking to go on the Poland trip too?  It was so long ago, I can't remember what it was all about.  If regular pioneers couldn't go who could?  Why?

I could deal with most things, just accepting them for what they were and realizing that nobody is perfect. It did bother me that women were not allowed so many things (like reading or conducting a book study or a public talk or praying out loud before or after the meetings). Women seem to be considered rather dumb creatures. The 'helper' of the man? Hahahaha.

What really got me was "this generation". Too much "new light" is shining on that one.

While not "the last straw" for me, one that definitely made me chuckle (and encouraged my reluctancy to consider a JW "mate") was the food stand at the summer conventions.  This was still when there was food and it was handled by the "ticket arrangement."  My mom always signed us up to do the concessions, and I would usually be at the counter.  However, while I was in high school, I got taken of the counter and relegated to "gopher."  The reason?  I could do the sums of the tickets faster than anyone else, particularly the elders and ministerial servants that flanked me.  I could also do their totals while doing the totals for the people in my line.  Instead of making good use of this skill, they got bent.  (OK, this is bad, but i still consider myself "better" than those crackers.)

The effect on me was the realization (and generalization) that JW men were actually inferior to women, despite the public image of superiority.  I left "bemused" by the shortsightedness of the JW philosophy of women in their organization.   Their cult would probably be quadruple its size if it were an egalitarian organization.

Whatever, it's not my bag anymore.

Shoshana