JW Humor

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    M Wolfy posted Thu, 01 Apr 2004 06:52:00 GMT(4/1/2004)

    Post 123 of 147
    Joined 6/22/2001

    Trying to cheer up a bit and thought I would look for something to make me laugh. My department was downsized last week and now I am looking for work.I've been pouring over job boards and such .I needed some comic relief and I ran across a site that I thought was hilarious. http://www.virushead.net/jwhumor.html

    I also got my hands on something that I'm not sure what to do with. Could one of the mods PM me please?

    Wolfy

    Special K posted Thu, 01 Apr 2004 15:37:00 GMT(4/1/2004)

    Post 1570 of 2855
    Joined 7/8/2003

    Good Morning ((( Wolfy ))),

    I'm sorry to here they downsized and you lost your job. That's tough.

    I'm sending "Good Vibes" to you that you are successful in finding another one and that it will be even better than the one you had.

    I read some of the J.W. humour.. some were a LOL!!! Very funny.

    sincerely

    Special K

    M Gerard posted Thu, 01 Apr 2004 16:02:00 GMT(4/1/2004)

    Post 886 of 2687
    Joined 8/11/2002

    The collection is AWSOME! All are very good, I specialy liked this one:

    100) If the Watchtower Society used to preach a certain teaching years ago and you deny they ever did, you are a good JW.
    M Yerusalyim posted Thu, 01 Apr 2004 16:32:00 GMT(4/1/2004)

    Post 5175 of 5774
    Joined 4/17/2001

    Some of these are hilarious...these two are my favorites.

    I'm a Jehovah's Bystander. We's like the Witnesses, only we don't wanna get involved.
    - Flip Wilson

    While traveling near Tampa, Florida I passed the "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" and was struck by the fact that that must be where they make them.

    F shera posted Thu, 01 Apr 2004 19:41:00 GMT(4/1/2004)

    Post 2773 of 3298
    Joined 8/25/2002

    Hi Wolfy,sorry to hear about your job.

    Thinking of you and here is a big *******************hugs******************* for a great guy!

    friends forever Heather

    M Gerard posted Tue, 06 Apr 2004 18:01:00 GMT(4/6/2004)

    Post 901 of 2687
    Joined 8/11/2002

    I liked this one too:

    Entering into Heaven/Paradise

    A man arrives at the gates of heaven. The Archangel asks, "Religion?"
    The man says, "Methodist."
    The Archangel looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
    Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"
    "Baptist."
    "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
    A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"
    "Jewish."
    "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
    The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"
    The Archangel tells him, "Well, the Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

    M English Patient posted Tue, 06 Apr 2004 18:07:00 GMT(4/6/2004)

    Post 56 of 123
    Joined 4/4/2004

    Exellent! Thanks for the link.

    More JW humour, this time from a JW herself :

    YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES IF....

    If "pioneer" is not a stereo;
    "new light" is not something in the housewares department;
    "tract" has nothing to do with land or farming.

    If you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.

    If "Memorial Day" isn't in May.

    If you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't even have a beer.

    If you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same sentence.

    If you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.

    If you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.

    If you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for miles around.

    If you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.

    If you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.

    If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95-degree heat.

    If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.

    If you have a shelf just for 192-page books.

    If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking up a pencil or highlighter too.

    If you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study".

    If you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties".

    If, after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.

    If you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.

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