JW dating....

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    ChristianGuy posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 03:48:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 1 of 1
    Joined 7/21/2003

    I am a christian man interested in a JW woman, but I, myself, am not JW. I have read on some sites that the JW faith does not allow Christians to date outside their faith. Well, Christianity is Christianity. Some denominations do have slightly different beliefs, but what it comes down to is God is creator of Heaven and Earth, He sent His son to die for our sins, He rose again on the third day, and He will return to take His flock home with him.

    I wish to get to know her a lot more, but the JW faith has me very discouraged about the whole thing, because I feel that no matter how I approach the situation, I will ultimately get let down because of beliefs that I am not entirely in agreement with. I tolerate them, but do not beleive them. I will not change my beliefs, and would not try to change hers.

    If the JW's say I can't date her because I am not one of "them;" to me, that is not being a very Christian example. Please help me out. I am very discouraged and don't know what to do.

    M drwtsn32 posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 03:56:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 821 of 6460
    Joined 5/4/2003

    JWs do not respect other religions, period. It doesn't matter that you're a Christian.

    JWs also have a very negative viewpoint on marrying someone outside of the JW faith. Sure, some still do it, but it's a very "bad thing to do." They use the scripture at 1 Corinthians 7:39 to back up this viewpoint (where it says to "marry only in the Lord"... and JWs think that only JWs are in the Lord).

    If you try to date a JW, don't be surprised if they want to "study" with you to convert you into the JW religion. If you're not interested in the JW religion (which would be very smart of you) then you might want to think twice about dating a JW; it will always be this wedge between you two.

    I'm sure someone has first hand experience with this and will share their thoughts...

    F lisaBObeesa posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 03:59:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 351 of 2350
    Joined 5/8/2001
    If the JW's say I can't date her because I am not one of "them;" to me, that is not being a very Christian example.

    You got that right.

    I think you will find many things about the JW that are not very Christian!

    For example:

    My mother was a JW and then decided to leave that faith. Because she is no longer a JW, my sister told her she is dead to her. My mom is not even allowed to see her grandchildren. It has been years now. This is typical JW behavior and my sister is considered a good, strong JW because the shuns her own mother completely.

    I don’t think that is very Christian.

    Did you know that JW believe that all other Christian denominations are controlled by the devil?

    I am sorry, but I think you should run the other way.

    -LisaBObeesa

    M run dont walk posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 04:07:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 307 of 1165
    Joined 5/13/2003

    first of all GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    okay, seriously now,

    is she really into the religion or just goes because of family. Anyone truly in the religion would not even look at someone on the outside.

    if she says to anyone, I am kind of seeing someone who is not a JW. Well, hell WILL break lose (pardon the pun). If her family is heavily into the religion you could be in for a rough ride.

    hard for me to say, since I would need these details to go further ???

    Welcome to the world of Jehovah's Witnesses, you will not enjoy the ride.

    And here's a tough question for you ?????????

    just saying, everything turns out wonderful, you date, you two really connect, one thing leads to another, you get married, (I know I am going a bit fast) then .....................................

    a child

    She wants to bring the child up as a JW, what will you do, if you don't believe in it how can you put your own child threw it ????????

    Can you say "major fight"

    M run dont walk posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 04:11:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 308 of 1165
    Joined 5/13/2003
    I am sorry, but I think you should run the other way.

    Could not of said it better,

    by the way my name stands for, run don't walk away from the Watchtower.

    M jws posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 05:44:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 360 of 1470
    Joined 5/13/2002

    I'm sure others can tell you of the problems of having a spouse who is a JW when you're not. The only way you're going to be happy is if she leaves or you join. And I strongly recommend you don't join.

    For her, you are going to die when God destroys the world, because He is only going to save baptised Jehovah's Witnesses. If she loves you, she's never going to stop hounding you to become one of them.

    The only other option is to get her to leave, which you say you don't want to do. While it's a great thought to respect her beliefs, this isn't just anybody. It's a woman you care for. If her beliefs are destructive (even in subtle ways), you should want her out of this religion. That's the only way you two have a chance in the long run. And her beliefs are destructive. People mentioned the shunning. There's the constant going to church or preaching or cleaning the church or conventions or study. It's a full time job that requires a lot of time and all of that time excludes you. Some marriage, eh? Your spouse is gone for a couple of hours 4 out of 7 days of the week. And they will also make her feel different, having an "unbelieving mate". They will give talks on how she might convert you, etc. She'll also be made to feel like someone who should be pitied because of you. Is that love?

    And if you do get her to leave, make sure she comes to places like this to find the truth about what she calls the "truth". Make sure she realizes it's wrong and that she decides that she cannot return. Otherwise, she will always feel as though she has given up the only true religion. Every time something happens like a war in the Middle East or a terrorist attack, she will be scared and think of running back to it. Buy her Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience as a start. He was a former member of their governing body (like a board of directors for a church). It is very revealing. But if she is a good JW will be reluctant to read it. Try anyway. Read experiences from this board and read Ray Franz's book too. You should know what you're getting into and educate yourself on this religion. And she should know your stand on it. If she knows you will never join, will she love you as much?

    F smurfette posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 10:47:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 45 of 197
    Joined 7/12/2003

    ChristianGuy-

    If she wants to date you she will. When I met my husband his beliefs were not an issue to me at all only to my JW family. If the issue is only between you & her family I'd say there's hope. However if your beliefs are an issue to her you have a problem.

    Good Luck !

    M avengers posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 11:14:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 1324 of 2806
    Joined 10/4/2001
    I am sorry, but I think you should run the other way

    alt

    M Maverick posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 11:49:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 732 of 2457
    Joined 2/10/2003

    This is a good test of this womans love for you. If you are the right guy, the man she wants to be with for life, she should be willing to do whatever it takes to keep you. Her cult is a high control, closed society. You are doing her a favor by getting her away from that bunch. You are showing her true love by freeing her from their lies! If she is the woman you want to raise your children and trust your well-being with she needs to prove it! Stand your ground. Maverick

    F cat1759 posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 12:25:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 97 of 310
    Joined 10/13/2001

    Avengers love those photo's. I am going to the drs laughing my ass off. THank you!

    Now as far as dating one, my dad did. He lived to regret it. My mom never stopped nagging him until he finally became an elder. He went through seven years of no sex, but masturbating and mom took him to the elders. Well gee, sex is a part of life. The elders were non the less upset. Gee to have your genitals exposed in public for all to know that you are wanking off is enough to stop me from sharing my innermost thoughts with the one i love. Ok, so I am a woman, none of them are going to get in my mind.

    This is a big step. Think before you leap. Great points were made by others.

    Whatever you decide you go in with open eyes and heart. It is a choice you have to make and only your choice.

    Good luck! Will be praying for you.

    Cathy

    M smack posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 12:31:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 49 of 790
    Joined 6/14/2003

    After reading another thread I have to ask....... Is she an elders daughter?

    M NeonMadman posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 13:17:00 GMT(7/21/2003)

    Post 1831 of 3675
    Joined 6/4/2001
    I have read on some sites that the JW faith does not allow Christians to date outside their faith. Well, Christianity is Christianity.

    Not to Jehovah's Witnesses. As far as they are concerned, you are a false Christian, as is anyone who professes Christianity but is not part of their organization. When they talk about dating outside their faith, they mean very specifically the organization of JW's. Other "Christians" are not Christians at all, in their eyes.

    M Tron posted Tue, 22 Jul 2003 02:29:00 GMT(7/22/2003)

    Post 23 of 26
    Joined 6/29/2003

    Hi,

    I Met my wife at work,she was a non practising JW only reason she probably got baptized at ayoung age was due to pressure from her Fanatic mother.

    We started to date and had slept togehter,Later on in our relationship we said we would move into together she went to her folks place to tell them, she later called me telling me she has decided not to move in because it was not right(in the Bible told by her folks).Well that didnt sit well with me we met and talked and decided that we would get married.

    She went to the Elders to tell them we slept togehter and are getting married,they said she would be DF ,but if she is repentant she would not marry me since I was not in the so called truth.

    Well she told them she loved me and no mater what they say she is marring me.we now have 3 beautifukll kids she has been reinstated but doesnt care,and prays to God in her own way.

    So there is Light,get to know her well and then if she loves you she will stick by you.

    Tron

    M Maverick posted Tue, 22 Jul 2003 12:00:00 GMT(7/22/2003)

    Post 740 of 2457
    Joined 2/10/2003

    Tron you got a good one. A woman that really loved you and would not let the J-duds rule her life. I know that if a woman really has high interest in her guy she will do what it takes to keep him. Thanks for helping prove my point! My ex was raised a dud...Truth-baby they call it. Married to me 15 years, all of her family are duds. Everyone she knew was a dud. She met a guy at work and dumped it all, me, her daughter, the duds, her family! Started a new life with Mr, Right...until the FBI came and hauled her honey off to jail with a $300,000.oo bond. Then she wanted to come back...my reply....I handed her the divorce papers! After that I was the worst, lowest bastard on the planet. A position I still hold to this day...five years later. My point is, that if the lady really cares and loves you, she will tell them all the kiss off! That's the kind of women you want to give the keys of your heart to!

    F unbeliever posted Tue, 22 Jul 2003 12:21:00 GMT(7/22/2003)

    Post 117 of 1129
    Joined 1/11/2003

    My advice is don't go down this road. There are way to many women out there to settle for a jw.

    F unique1 posted Tue, 22 Jul 2003 12:37:00 GMT(7/22/2003)

    Post 264 of 2032
    Joined 4/10/2003

    I personally know alot of people who dated unbelievers. Some of them got married. It is a tough fight though. I started dating my husband before he started studying. (Yeah I converted him, I know BAD ME!) If you decide to persue this, and she agrees she will probably want to keep it a secret from her parents and friends, which could be a blessing. When things get serious though, if they do, that is when all hell will break loose, because that is when parents and friends get involved. The JW would risk being disassociated for marrying an unbeliever and none of her JW friends would be in the wedding. So if things do go that far, ELOPE!!!!

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