Letter From Whitney's Mother

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    breakfast of champions posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 18:54:09 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 2595 of 4011
    Joined 5/30/2011

    Just saw this on Google News. Link to letter here.

    Dear family, I want to tell you that although this has been the worst of my life’s tribulations, that I am still standing.

    The obvious reason is that Jehovah is the faithful “keeper of Promises” holding to his word that never, would his great love allow his precious children to be tested beyond what we could bear. That he would empower us with abundant strength as long as we hold loyally to him.

    I have not lost my daughter Whitney and you have not lost a sister. I know exactly where she is. That girl loves to sleep and she is taking a bit of a nap right now, held tightly in Jehovah’s memory. What a cozy place to be.

    My family has been told that many are crushed with sadness for us. Don’t be overcome with grief. As difficult as this has been, a tremendous opportunity has opened up because people in communities around the earth have opened their hearts wide to learning more about us as a people and the God whose name we carry. Because of the experiences I have recently witnessed or someone has shared, this ordeal has greatly impacted the minds and hearts of really good, compassionate and loving people. I promise you that if Jehovah told me that he would end this cruel system immediately so that I could hold Whitney safe and warm in my arms, see those shining eyes and her radiant smile tomorrow, I promise you… that I would beg him to wait so that we would have the time to reach out to those people. We could not rescue Whitney but we can rescue them. Jehovah knows what he is doing.

    This mother does not have the words to express the gratitude she has for the millions of prayers that have flowed to Jehovah for my family nor the countless tears that have fallen for the sorrow that visited our lives. And while many of you have not been able to be present with us in a literal sense, I have known you were there with every breath that I have taken. Hugs do travel through the air on wings of angels and although there was a horrific hole cut from my heart, I have been squeezed so tightly with your love that it has already closed enough to let me breathe, witness to others and even to laugh out loud. My prayers include you and I needed to reassure you that my family and I are not just standing we are standing stronger than ever.

    Beautiful Whitney beat us to Paradise.

    I love you, I love you,

    Your sis Lorilei

    Magwitch posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 19:03:57 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 1349 of 1506
    Joined 5/2/2008

    Heartbreaking!

    There are five stages to grief - she is obviously in the first stage- Denial.

    M ohiocowboy posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 19:12:05 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 3041 of 2961
    Joined 4/7/2004

    I am happy that her Mother's strong faith will help carry her through this horrible ordeal. On the flip side, it will come as quite a blow if she ever does decide to start questioning the "Truth".

    My thoughts are with Whitney's friends and family.

    sabastious posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 19:19:50 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 9840 of 9407
    Joined 2/3/2010

    It's good to know that she's feeling so strong. No one should ever have to go through what she is experiencing. That being said, this tragedy seems like it was avoidable. If Lorilei's subconscious is even aware of a shred of that, her cognitive dissonance will be going full bore.

    -Sab

    JW GoneBad posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 19:41:36 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 1008 of 1774
    Joined 10/23/2010

    With all due respect to the family and Whitney’s mother: Her reasoning is no different than what others say when their loved one dies prematurely …’God took her cause he needed her in heaven’.

    I, for Whitney’s mother’s sake hope that the killer ‘Holt’ doesn’t wind up being a sexual predator or stalker that WT and the elders in her congregation knew about but refused and or neglected to inform the rank and file about.

    Indeed, a sad event with a sad ending!

    minimus posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 19:52:57 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 36470 of 36448
    Joined 7/3/2002

    Well, no one should consider this a "loss". OK.

    JW GoneBad posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 20:18:06 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 1009 of 1774
    Joined 10/23/2010

    Clearly, the JW religion is like opium to Whitney’s mom.

    F LongHairGal posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 21:00:57 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 3203 of 4034
    Joined 3/11/2005

    Breakfast of Champions:

    With all due respect to a grieving mother: I am sure there wasn't a dry eye reading it but all it shows is that people in the religion have short-circuited their grief somehow and have substituted this fantasy to make themselves feel better. I never really believed the JW teaching about the paradise and felt it was no comfort to anybody who lost a loved one. Who wants to wait forever to see somebody again?

    The problem is that a person has to grieve and if it is postponed or suppressed, it is unhealthy. A real loss has occurred. Somebody is gone and you have to wait on some never-never land fantasy in order to supposedly see them again.

    JWGoneBad:

    I feel the way you do in that it is similar to those in Christendom who say: God needed so and so in heaven. I think the JW hope is the same as Christendom's hope for the hereafter.

    The only difference is that Christendom's hereafter is in heaven and JW's is supposedly on earth (this is assuming, of course, that the JW religion doesn't do a 360 degree turn and say 'we no longer believe that'). Stay tuned.

    nuthouse escapee posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 21:14:34 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 348 of 493
    Joined 8/12/2012

    I feel very sorry for Whitney's mother. The shock that comes from a horrible tragedy like this can numb the emotions for a time. I experienced the same thing when my mother passed. It is a crutch that interrupts the grieving process and it eventually catches up with you later. As another poster mentioned, it is not healthy. -Leslie-

    Juan Viejo2 posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 21:34:49 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 717 of 914
    Joined 6/17/2009

    I wonder if the brother giving the funeral talk at Whitney's memorial service will give her more than the three minutes every other JW gets when they die?

    I wonder how her mother, father, husband, and siblings will feel when they hear the same old standard "sell-the-crowd-on-paradise" talk that you hear at JW funerals.

    It does appear that besides the usual service, the family (or "friends of") are planning a private memorial for closer friends and relatives.

    JV

    kassad84 posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:03:42 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 16 of 161
    Joined 10/6/2012

    Big heart in a cruel world.

    breakfast of champions posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:33:19 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 2598 of 4011
    Joined 5/30/2011

    Okay.

    So I initially did not express my thoughts about this letter in my original post because I felt I needed to give myself some time to kind of sort it all out. The comments thus far have been pretty much positive, and a testament to the humanity, open-mindedness, and frankly, love that I personally see on this board ( yes despite the infighting, banned posters, etc.)

    I feel for this mother and the rest of the family. I can't even imagine. Having a hope is essential no matter what faith you are, or even if you have no faith.

    I can even understand how her mom wants to use this opportunity to "let her light shine," and turn probably the most horrific incident anyone could ever experience into something at least mildly positive.

    What is disturbing to me, though, is the emotional bluntness of this statement, which in the end, is a product of years of Watchtower indoctrination:

    "Because of the experiences I have recently witnessed or someone has shared, this ordeal has greatly impacted the minds and hearts of really good, compassionate and loving people. I promise you that if Jehovah told me that he would end this cruel system immediately so that I could hold Whitney safe and warm in my arms, see those shining eyes and her radiant smile tomorrow, I promise you… that I would beg him to wait so that we would have the time to reach out to those people. We could not rescue Whitney but we can rescue them. Jehovah knows what he is doing."

    I honestly can't even attribute these words to the mother. This is how her worldview has been programmed by a end-times cult/corporation.

    Read what this is saying. . .

    1) There are a lot of good, compassionate, loving people out there.

    2) In order to see my daughter again, god will first have to kill all of those good, compassionate, loving people.

    3) I would beg god to give these people time to become Jehovah's Witnesses even if it meant not seeing my daughter a little bit longer.

    4) My daughters death is temporary. These good, compassionate, loving people will be destroyed forever by god.

    I think it really takes someone who was raised in a "divided household" to parse out a statement like this.

    I lived this.

    My "worldly" dad, who I was far closer to than my JW mother, was/is good, compassionate, and loving. On the other hand, my JW mother was abusive, manipulative and controlling. Yet she was on the "good side." She was on the side where you might just survive this homicidal god's bloodlust.

    I spent most of my life trying to "rescue" my dad because I wasn't so sure that 'Jehovah knew what he was doing.'

    Okay. I'm done. I'm crying again. Not good.

    I HATE THIS FUCKING CULT!

    Satanus posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:38:20 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 19102 of 21303
    Joined 8/31/2001

    "My "worldly" dad, who I was far closer to than my JW mother, was/is good, compassionate, and loving. On the other hand, my JW mother was abusive, manipulative and controlling. Yet she was on the "good side.""

    That's a mindfucker, alright. My sympathy to YOU.

    S

    nuthouse escapee posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:39:39 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 353 of 493
    Joined 8/12/2012

    BoC, good observation. I wonder how many from the community will show up for the funeral talk. I think it does more harm than good when the funeral is basically just another talk. I know my mom's worldly family were not impressed by my mom's funeral. Leslie

    exwhyzee posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:56:55 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 1214 of 1788
    Joined 5/23/2010

    I'm glad she has something to get her throught this immediate loss but I fear as time wears on and a decade or two passes to a time when she is facing old age and death herself, she will see the loss of her daughter and their lost years together much diffrently. Her rationalization that the longer the newsystem is delayed the more there are that will be saved may not hold up. If she were thinking clearly she'd realize that the longer the delay, the more individuals who will never accept thier truth are being born by the hour.

    F AudeSapere posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 23:05:41 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 4287 of 4471
    Joined 2/2/2006

    nuthouse escapee wrote: I think it does more harm than good when the funeral is basically just another talk.

    I have a feeling that there won't be a talk - or that it will not be the usual talk. They have set up a 3- or 4-hour 'Open House' for the non-JW community. This is definitely not going to be the same run-of-the-mill infomercial that we have seen in the past.

    The actual funeral talk seems to be for invited family and friends only. Strange.

    When my JW friend disappeared, her body was found 19months later. The memorial service that we had after finding her body was held at the Circuit Assembly Hall. It was held there to accomodate all who wanted to attend. It was not the usual JW talk. Well, it was much of the same, but more personal.

    It's nice when some JWs break out and do something a little different. Almost ANY different is good. With all the community rallying around them (even raising money for the family) the family *had* to do something in response. I'm glad the local BOE allowed the Open House. Then again, it would have been a very bad witness if they did not.

    -Aude.

    M jwfacts posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 23:37:37 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 6902 of 8013
    Joined 6/25/2005

    I am surprised by the positive comments, because this letter disgusts me, and shows the total delusion the Watchtower creates in its mindless sheep.

    The response of a normal person would be of gratitude for all the prayers and kindness of other, of the hope of the resurrection, and that Jehovah is sustaining her in this difficult time.

    However, in this letter the mother says, "a tremendous opportunity has opened up because people in communities around the earth have opened their hearts wide to learning more about us as a people and the God whose name we carry." Are you kidding me? A psycho JW sodomises and murders another JW, and that is supposed to be considered a positive Witness for Jehovah's name.

    Also, "I promise you that if Jehovah told me that he would end this cruel system immediately so that I could hold Whitney safe and warm in my arms, see those shining eyes and her radiant smile tomorrow, I promise you… that I would beg him to wait so that we would have the time to reach out to those people. We could not rescue Whitney but we can rescue them."

    She has noted the love shown by worldly people, and saying how she wants time for them to become JWs, so Jehovah does not need to murder them at Armageddon. That amounts to a thin veil of compassion cloaking a heartless, brutal doctrine.

    "Jehovah knows what he is doing" - Yes, nothing whilst Whitney was suffering unimaginable horror.

    M james_woods posted Fri, 26 Oct 2012 23:48:16 GMT(10/26/2012)

    Post 11656 of 12292
    Joined 10/26/2005

    Only one word for this: Delusional.

    fiddler posted Sat, 27 Oct 2012 00:04:38 GMT(10/27/2012)

    Post 17 of 141
    Joined 4/27/2004

    I read that letter last night and also read through the comments and it seems that the vast majority of non-JW commenters just do not hear what she actually was saying. A few ex-JW's have made some negative comments throughout the various news stories (out of sheer frustration) and the JW responses are often mind numbingly stupid name calling sophmoric rants and yet the people continue to defend them!

    This has been a frustrating lesson in human psychology and frankly; quite depressing. I do think that as the weeks and months pass the reality of the loss of Whitney will hit her mom HARD. Also, I think that as the society continues to churn out their Pharisaichal rules and interpretations, one of them is going to hit home and if it puts Whitney in any kind of a bad light then she may start to open her eyes. Or it could be in the form of gossip and we all know how they do like to gossip! But, over the years it has also been my observation that even then die hard witnesses stay blind and take the 'blame' for being 'weak'.

    F AudeSapere posted Sat, 27 Oct 2012 00:06:06 GMT(10/27/2012)

    Post 4290 of 4471
    Joined 2/2/2006

    About the letter itself... I'm still trying to process my thoughts. And I'm really trying not to say negative and critical things when someone is trying to grieve - in whatever lame way that may be.

    Initial thought was 'dyed-in-the-wool' witness. And while the mother may very well love her daughter, she still views her as an object or possession. When it comes to protecting our children, most people say 'the hell with everyone else. My kid's welfare comes first.' This mother clearly is so fully indoctinated in the JW disdain for 'this' life and fueled by the wave of encouragement from JWs around the world that her words sound cold toward her daughter and the attack.

    Denial of the real facts and implications seems evident.

    I'm really having a tough time with my thoughts. I agree with JWFacts alot. But I think many of us - myself included - are holding back our real thoughts out of respect for what we believe is a family having trouble finding a way to really grieve now.

    -Aude.

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