disfellowshipping and suicide

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    F LyinEyes posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 15:48:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 14 of 3772
    Joined 1/7/2002

    My mother had been a faithful witness for 16 yrs, she got addicted to prescription drugs and things got very bad for her. She overdosed one nite and was put in rehab. She began smoking after rehab and was disfellowhipped for it, she got a letter in the mail . I dont recall the elders or anyone , trying to help her in her time of need. Not over the drug abuse or to see if she needed help with her mental health. A few months after she was disfellowshipped , she jumped to her death and drowned. I know she was ate up with guilt at what her life had become , she was only 35 and suffered from depression and our home life was full of secrets and hypocrisey. How sad I feel to hear about the Bryant's tragedy. How many more people will choose to end thier lives than feel the pain of what they see as no way out. I feel strongly on telling this story so as to see how many people out there are suffering after being disfellowshipped. How can we help them to not end their lives? I left the borg less than a year ago, and without this internet info, I might have been a sad statistic too.
    You can not isolate yourself and it is wrong to be shunned , those who shun others in such a way , have blood on their hands.

    M Elsewhere posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 15:52:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 235 of 17906
    Joined 2/8/2002

    Keep asking, I'm sure there are plenty of stories just waiting to be told.

    I had to choose between disappointing my family, friends, and being shunned... or suicide. It was difficult, but I chose to live for myself instead of them. I DAed myself.

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

    F flower posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 16:12:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 432 of 1724
    Joined 12/25/2001

    nothing angers me more about the org than the disfellowshipping thing. i can deal with the children growing up with no friends or hapiness, i can handle the wasted lives preaching the bullshit but when they throw someone out in the world with nothing or noone to help them i cant stand that..it makes me so mad.

    i agree with you..thank god for the internet. it gives those who have been disfellowshiped somewhere to turn. thats why its so important to keep the truth as the main focus of the sites and keep the fluff as a secondary thing.

    flower

    anewperson posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 16:19:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 883 of 722
    Joined 8/8/2001

    LyinEyes, which state or province was this in? You can privately email me at r_lemans@hotmail.com, or if you wish to say nothing further then we understand that too. A memorial website will be going up in memory of those who suicided and were JWs or Watchtower-impacted and to inform and deter others from becoming endangered by WTS doings.

    Scully posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 16:39:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 630 of 13517
    Joined 11/2/2001

    LyinEyes:

    I'm so sorry for what your mother went through, and your family in the aftermath of her untimely death.

    I agree that the WTS bears part of the blame for hers and other deaths as a result of their shunning of people.

    The damage, emotionally and psychologically, that this behaviour causes is frightening. They tell you 'not to isolate yourself' on the one hand, and on the other hand they're pretending they don't see you and think of you as "dead". How can a person who is experiencing mental illness like depression dig their way out of the pit of despair when the ONLY "friends" and support network they've ever HAD refuses to affirm their existence? refuses to even acknowledge their entitlement to human respect and dignity?

    "By their fruits you will know them" - Matthew 7:20

    "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves" - John 13:35

    They don't save their shunning behaviour for just the baddest of the bad either. I was never DFd or DAd, and have never been advised of any charges of wrongdoing against me, or invited to attend any meetings of a Judicial Committee for investigation. Yet, if a JW sees me in public, I get shunned. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't commit adultery. I guess not going door to door or attending meetings anymore is considered a "sin" now. But you know what? During the time when things were going lousy for us - I was first on bedrest for a month because of a threatened miscarriage, then after the baby came incapacitated with depression and anxiety attacks, my husband lost his job, my 3 kids got chicken pox one after the other (9 weeks of missed meetings because someone was always contagious), a back injury followed by a car accident and neck injury - NOT ONE of "the friends" even lifted a finger to encourage us. Nobody called. Nobody visited. Nobody gave a flying f*ck. And then when we get on with our lives without them, they have the AUDACITY, the GAUL, to say that we "turned our back on The Truthâ„¢". They have the BALLS to say that it wasn't anything they DID that caused US to leave THEM. In a way, they're right - they didn't DO anything. But in DOING NOTHING, they didn't make us want to stick around either. They were just like the Pharisees who taught "what you do not want others to do to you, do not do to them". That's not the "Christian" Golden Rule though. "Whatever you want men to do to you, you must do to them". And believe it or not, we found people who, like us, lived by THOSE words. Those people were Catholics. They were Protestants. Some were Pentecostals. Some were Jewish. But each one of them proved to be more Christian than all the JWs we knew put together.

    That year of torture proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt, that JWs are just like the Pharisees that Jesus condemned.

    And if it weren't for those kind, good folks who showed us human compassion and dignity, I probably would not be alive today.

    Love, Scully

    UADNA-C (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America-Canada)

    F Tinkerbell4125 posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 16:48:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 54 of 881
    Joined 2/11/2002

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My father took his life also. He put a gun to his head. My sister-in-law's brother shot himself in the head also after he learned he would be disfellowedshipped. My father was treated like dirt by the j.w.'s. His own children treated him like it was a effort and a anoance to even speak to him. Even though my father never was a j.w., they treated him like he should know better! He was very depressed and like your mother, it became to be too much for him. I will never be the same.

    dungbeetle posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 16:53:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 930 of 2224
    Joined 9/5/2001

    As was stated in both William Schnells' book '30 Years a Wathtower Slave' and Barbara Grizutti Harrison's book 'Visions of Glory'; there is no place for Jehovah's Witnesses in terrible trouble to go.

    Thank God for Simon's site. JW's, non-JW's, and ex-JW's can all come HERE for help.

    (((((((((((((Angharad and Mr. Angharad)))))))))))))

    M JAVA posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 18:37:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 756 of 1575
    Joined 12/14/2000

    Topics like this can go on forever because Watchtower induced tragedies are endless. A woman in our KH killed herself after being disfellowshipped. She pioneered off and on for many years, but suffered from depression. A few months before the suicide her son was involved in an auto accident. A young JW passenger (his girlfriend) was killed when they were hit by a drunk driver. I think her son's accident pushed her into deeper depression, and she started smoking. The Watchtower and elders were nowhere to be found when she needed help, but as soon as she lit a cigarette, they were only too willing to help by shunning her.

    She started the car in a closed garage, had the windows down, and a Watchtower green Bible was found beside her. I'm sure we could fill a book with tragedies helped along by life in the Watchtower fairy tale. Without thinking about it very long, I know 3 others that committed suicide while under the Tower's spell. They were all part of "God's happy people."

    M avengers posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 18:41:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 494 of 2806
    Joined 10/4/2001
    the WTS bears part of the blame for hers and other deaths


    I say all of it.!

    Scully posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 23:22:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 639 of 13517
    Joined 11/2/2001

    Dear avengers:

    the WTS bears part of the blame for hers and other deaths
    I say all of it.!

    The problem is, even if the WTS is TOTALLY to blame for any/all of these deaths, they can't even bring themselves to admit that they have the teeniest-tiniest responsibility. They consider themselves to be above reproach. Furthermore, they don't give a flip. Look at the way they refuse to hold a memorial service for the family. How cold, how callous, how "christian" is that?

    The GB/WTS/JWs care only about ONE thing: pushing books down people's throats and sending the profits to the False Prophets in Brooklyn NY. If you don't keep up with them, they toss you on the garbage pile and forget about you, like you never existed.

    It's cut-throat in that pack of wolves, a dog-eat-dog rat-race. I'm so glad I'm not part of it anymore.

    Love, Scully

    Farkel posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 23:34:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 1828 of 11743
    Joined 3/14/2001

    Lyineyes,

    I'm sorry to hear of your tragedy. Many others have heard me state the following, but perhaps you haven't:

    "The Watchtower religion is a religion who thinks the best way to help their own wounded is to shoot them."

    Farkel

    F chezza posted Tue, 19 Mar 2002 23:38:00 GMT(3/19/2002)

    Post 122 of 257
    Joined 2/21/2002

    So sorry for your loss lying eyes, i know how it feels to feel trapped and think suicide is the only way out, the wtb&ts do have alot to answer for.

    F Joyzabel posted Wed, 20 Mar 2002 02:17:00 GMT(3/20/2002)

    Post 341 of 3564
    Joined 10/28/2001

    (((lyineyes)))

    I'm so sorry to hear about your lost, no matter how long ago it was, it is still a big hole that can't be filled by anyone else.

    Be there for your kids. XOXO

    j2bf

    F Sunspot posted Wed, 20 Mar 2002 03:26:00 GMT(3/20/2002)

    Post 69 of 5956
    Joined 8/9/2001

    [[[[[Lyineyes]]]]]

    How heartbreaking is that? It just makes me SO angry and frustrated the more I hear about the tragedies that result from Watchtower treatment.

    And....... it just keeps ON and ON, while the JWs smugly sit in their righteous cloak of judgement on those who left Jehovah's "Ark of protection.

    DAMN!!! There isn't anything HATEFUL enough that I can WISH to happen to the Watchtower Society!

    Shredded families and ruined lives;
    The WBTS has MUCH to answer for......

    Hugs,

    Sunspot

    F Sunspot posted Wed, 20 Mar 2002 04:14:00 GMT(3/20/2002)

    Post 70 of 5956
    Joined 8/9/2001

    >>I guess not going door to door or attending meetings anymore is considered a "sin" now. But you know what? During the time when things were going lousy for us - I was first on bedrest for a month because of a threatened miscarriage, then after the baby came incapacitated with depression and anxiety attacks, my husband lost his job, my 3 kids got chicken pox one after the other (9 weeks of missed meetings because someone was always contagious), a back injury followed by a car accident and neck injury - NOT ONE of "the friends" even lifted a finger to encourage us. Nobody called. Nobody visited. Nobody gave a flying f*ck. And then when we get on with our lives without them, they have the AUDACITY, the GAUL, to say that we "turned our back on The Truthâ„¢". They have the BALLS to say that it wasn't anything they DID that caused US to leave THEM. In a way, they're right - they didn't DO anything. But in DOING NOTHING, they didn't make us want to stick around either.<<

    Scully,

    I can SO relate to this! I, too, got the cold shoulder for months due to two unrelated conditions that hit me at the same time. The last few meetings that I went to, I was "back" on crutches again, after going through a bout in a wheelchair, crutches, and then remission.....and back on crutches again when this all happened.

    It just HURT so bad, cuz I was always there for everyone else when I was ABLE bodied, fixing meals, etc, all the things one DOES for others, which I DIDN'T mind DOING at all, but when *I* just could have used a phone call (I DID get a card from an elderly sister) but several JW families have to go right by here to get to the KH, so they HAD to feel "somewhat" awkward going right past, knowing no one gave a crap about stopping in when they WEREN'T rushing off to a meeting, ya know?

    I misspoke here......I got one call per month at the end of the month...to see if I had any FIELD SERVICE to report! GRRRRR

    Actually, the last meeting I went to, it was made known that a man who'd been studying for about a year or so (I had JUST seen him and talked with him the previous day) had been found that night---he'd shot himself with a pistol. It hit me SO hard, I came home and bawled for a long time-and I couldn't even say WHY it affected me that way, I didn't know him WELL.

    I can pinpoint the fact that THAT incident was the beginning of my journey out.....I began to "peek" at H2O and arjw, but was still defending the religion, which led to a lot of links to apostate (LOL) websites and some informative <grin> discussions.

    And STILL no friendly visits, phone calls or cards from my "friends", then the summer came and went--nobody called to see if my grandson (lives with us) would like to go swimming with the KH kids, or do ANYTHING with them (what did HE do to be snubbed?) and it burnt me up inside. Of course, if I'd been an Elder's wife.......

    I wrote to the Elder's in October, to tell THEM how I felt, and that I didn't deserve this treatment after almost 30 years, and I had some serious thinking to do about a lot of things especially the lack of love I was definetly feeling and that now it was MY choice-to be left alone-until *I* chose to go back to the meetings again or not.

    They couldn't get over here fast enough or often enough-now that I PREFERRED to NOT "enjoy their company". It pissed me off even MORE!

    It's all about control-THEIRS-and I STILL resent it even now.

    As for the "time" I'd like to "report"?

    I've spent MORE time "whole-souled" in WARNING people about the Watchtower Society, than I did going door-to-door trying to INTEREST people in JOINING the Society! LOL!

    Annie

    Shredded families and ruined lives;
    The WBTS has MUCH to answer for......

    Hugs,

    Sunspot

    F Tinkerbell4125 posted Tue, 26 Mar 2002 18:03:00 GMT(3/26/2002)

    Post 59 of 881
    Joined 2/11/2002

    After surviving my father's suicide, and coming out of the *truth*, I've finally found some peace. I deal with my j.w. and non-j.w family on and off. I've learned not to react to them anymore. I know their mind sit. I know their limits. Hell I know what their thinking and saying behind my back. I use to be just like them!!! I ex'ed myself a few years back when reality hit me in the face like a two-by-fore. It's a long story, but I will say....the elders have no training in dealing with the mentally ill...someone that suffers from depression. My father *who completed suicide* was always told and had the belief *even though he was a j.w.* that he was depressed because he wasn't spiritualy strong. If he would go to the meetings and quit smoking and bla bla bla, he wouldn't be depressed. Well, he would try it...for awhile....get a study going again...stop smoking...then stop and start all over again. Now I realize, now that I realize alot of things, I too suffer from depression, I have bpmd...I'm bi-polar and my father was also. Only back then, what the hell was bi-polar! His V.A. doctors would load him up with valium and he would wash them down with his friend jack. Needless to say, it didn't go well together. I could write a book! The time he got drunk and pissed off and knocked the one and only Christmas tree we ever had, over....tossed the t.v. out the front door...it rolled down the front lawn and the mailbox stopped it from rolling in the road! Oh the cherrished memories of my j.w. childhood. Mama would load us up in our station wagon and off we'd go to the kingdom hall!!!
    Looking back, my mama did the best she could. She's dead now. My father should have been treated for depression and mood swings. My siblins should be in treatment with me, but to them I'm the *crazy* one because I went into treatment and in the process educated myself and learned about the org. The elders couldn't wait to get their hands on me. They were so pissed that I went to *worldly* doctors and not meet with them. It's a long story. Maybe one of these day's I'll have the strength to write about it, but for now, I've moved within a two hour distant from all of my family. I keep a low profile. Find some peace and contentment with my family here within these walls. I'm very thankful for this site. This has been a soft place to fall many times for me. Tink =:o)

    F Tinkerbell4125 posted Tue, 26 Mar 2002 18:06:00 GMT(3/26/2002)

    Post 60 of 881
    Joined 2/11/2002

    opps....so sorry..in my post, i said my father *was* a j.w.
    ***correction*** my father was never a j.w.

    I need to proof read...I know I know...sorry bout that!!!

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