How to properly call someone out for lying.

No really, I'm asking.

I was not home at all last week.  Only my husband was here.  When we finally met up together this weekend, I turned on a burner on the stove.  It started smoking because somthing had been spelt down in the stove and had not been cleaned out.

I accused him of making the mess and not cleaning it.  He said he did not make a mess on the stove.  And he said the last time the kitchen was cleaned, he did it.  

I pointed out, that He was the only one here, it was either him or someone was coming into our home all ninja like and making the messes and leaving them.  
He said, "yea I guess."

I demanded he admit that he was the only one that could have possibly made the uncleaned mess and he refused and said he "did not appreciate me accusing him of lying"

I still know he did it.  Why won't he just admit to it?  

Signed,
It's Monday I have a busier week this week than I did last week and I won't 'be here to protect my kitchen.  

If the biggest thing you have to complain about is a messy husband, you're doing ok.

Because he's a man - we have great difficulty admiting we are ever wrong.

You need to get more analytical, what smell was it? Burning what? Cheese, meat, hair, veg, plastic? They all smell very different.

You do realise that shit happens? Maybe a spider died and fell down there and got burnt next time the cooker was used....

Bloody big spider!!!!

While it might seem like a small thing.  I am truly worried about where his mind is.  He has caught our kitchen on fire twice, because he forgot he had something on the stove and walked away.  

During the first fire I was the one that got burned during the fire and spent a week in the hospital and a year healing.

We had the kitchen remodeled in January, partially because of the second fire.  The freakin' stove is brand new, I haven't even finished paying it off.

The smell?  I think it was grease.  That would strongly suggest to me that he was frying up potatoes after we agreed no more fried foods.  So  again, he isn't being completly honest.    Thanks, I hadn't even thought about that. 

I'm not absolutely sure this is a serious post so... I'm only half joking.

I was not home at all last week.  Only my husband was here. You don't know what happened for 5 days.

I accused him of making the mess and not cleaning it.  He said he did not make a mess on the stove.  There's your answer.  And he said the last time the kitchen was cleaned, he did it.  Good guy.

I pointed out, that He was the only one here, (he's fully aware of that. Parent/child behaviour on your part)) it was either him or someone was coming into our our all ninja like and making the messes and leaving them.  Oooh, sarcasm.
He said, "yea I guess." trans. "Believe what you like"

I demanded he admit that he was the only one that could have possibly made the uncleaned mess What if there was another possibility ?and he refused and said he "did not appreciate me accusing him of lying" That sounds assertive and reasonable

I still know he did it. No you don't, you're not clairvoyant.  Why won't he just admit to it? Because he said he didn't do it !

Signed,
It's Monday I have a busier week this week than I did last week and I won't 'be here to protect my kitchen.  Perhaps he'll eat out every night for safety.

Is everything O.K. at home ??

O.K., I'd composed my reply and posted it after your last one and I didn't check. That background puts a different complexion on it altogether.

I've taken you off the the 'Control Freak' list.

 thank you. 

and I really appreciated the laugh. 

I expect a mess when I get home

...a girlfriend, perhaps?  ...who comes in and cooks for him? ...and makes a mess? (ducks and runs)

I used to live with someone who could only be described as a 35 year old child... I would clean and tidy every day, make the bed, put everything right... and then go to work... I would come home to find the place in an absolute state all over again. I wouldn't describe myself as a clean freak, but it was exhausting to have to come home to that every day...

When I was away from home for longer periods, it was even worse. When I lived alone and knew that I was going away for a number of days, I would change the bed linen, clean and tidy everything - so that when I came home I could just fall into bed and not worry about dirty dishes or washing clothes. With him, it was like a toddler had been on a rampage... I would find sweet wrappers shoved down the side of the cushions of the sofa, a mountain of dirty dishes...

He was university educated, but had moved straight back into his parents hotel after finishing, and as a result, his mother waited on him hand and foot for ten years... He just simply didn't have a clue how to do the simplest of household tasks...

It seemed like a bit of a joke at first, but it was emotionally wearing and I really grew to resent him, as it felt like he didn't care about me or my feelings... but I actually think it was his mothers fault for babying him...

And I just remembered all over again why I am happiest when I am single

If he's burned the kitchen twice already then he defo has a problem there somewhere.

This reminds me of a newlywed JW couple I knew....

She was making a dish for a congregation "get-together".  Meat was in the oven and she had made a sauce in the blender, ready to be poured over the dish.  She then went to have a shower before the "get-together"..........

When they were nearly ready to go, she poured the sauce over the dish and went into the cupboard to look for potholders.  She finds.........a chewed up wooden spoon in with the kitchen linens....

Asks hubby about it, and he claims to know nothing

She says, "Look, it's only you and me here, and I know it wasn't me!"

Finally, he admits that while she was in the shower, he turned on the blender, and stuck the wooden spoon in, which got chewed up in the blades.

She was livid, and said, "You were going to let me serve wooden slivers to our friends???"

She came to the "get-together" with no dish and in tears.

LOL

And I just remembered all over again why I am happiest when I am single

Ditto.

The original poster should have bought a glass-top stove and saved their family/marrage the silly drama. :P

- Lime

Because he's a man - we have great difficulty admiting we are ever wrong.

My Grandfather, expecting I'd be married some day, once gave me some good advice: "You have to decide if you want to be happy, or if you want to be right."

He would admit to doing stuff he never did, just to make the wife stop harrasing him about stuff she mistakenly thought he was responsible for.

That was the second best bit of marriage anyone has ever given me. . .

I wish I could "like" your post Lore....  What was the first best bit of marriage advice you were given?

Ooooooo. I hate to say this but you I think are being a little fanatical. He may not have realized something dropped down in the burner and probably was the last one to clean the kitchen being that you had been out of town and just got back and WHOA all hell breaks loose because you smelled burning grease on the burner. If I were you I would quit my job or whatever takes you out of town for a solid week and stay home to protect your stove.

What was the first best bit of marriage advice you were given?

Don't get married.