How to properly call someone out for lying.

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    F lisavegas420 posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:44:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 3670 of 3587
    Joined 11/29/2002

    No really, I'm asking.

    I was not home at all last week. Only my husband was here. When we finally met up together this weekend, I turned on a burner on the stove. It started smoking because somthing had been spelt down in the stove and had not been cleaned out.

    I accused him of making the mess and not cleaning it. He said he did not make a mess on the stove. And he said the last time the kitchen was cleaned, he did it.

    I pointed out, that He was the only one here, it was either him or someone was coming into our home all ninja like and making the messes and leaving them.
    He said, "yea I guess."

    I demanded he admit that he was the only one that could have possibly made the uncleaned mess and he refused and said he "did not appreciate me accusing him of lying"

    I still know he did it. Why won't he just admit to it?

    Signed,
    It's Monday I have a busier week this week than I did last week and I won't 'be here to protect my kitchen.

    Broken Promises posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:48:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 5274 of 5156
    Joined 3/7/2010

    If the biggest thing you have to complain about is a messy husband, you're doing ok.

    cantleave posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:49:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 8499 of 13236
    Joined 6/25/2009

    Because he's a man - we have great difficulty admiting we are ever wrong.

    Witness My Fury posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:50:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 958 of 2837
    Joined 5/11/2010

    You need to get more analytical, what smell was it? Burning what? Cheese, meat, hair, veg, plastic? They all smell very different.

    You do realise that shit happens? Maybe a spider died and fell down there and got burnt next time the cooker was used....

    cantleave posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:56:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 8500 of 13236
    Joined 6/25/2009

    Bloody big spider!!!!

    F lisavegas420 posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:01:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 3671 of 3587
    Joined 11/29/2002

    While it might seem like a small thing. I am truly worried about where his mind is. He has caught our kitchen on fire twice, because he forgot he had something on the stove and walked away.

    During the first fire I was the one that got burned during the fire and spent a week in the hospital and a year healing.

    We had the kitchen remodeled in January, partially because of the second fire. The freakin' stove is brand new, I haven't even finished paying it off.

    The smell? I think it was grease. That would strongly suggest to me that he was frying up potatoes after we agreed no more fried foods. So again, he isn't being completly honest. Thanks, I hadn't even thought about that.

    M bigmouth posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:25:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 1396 of 1381
    Joined 11/26/2005

    I'm not absolutely sure this is a serious post so... I'm only half joking.

    I was not home at all last week. Only my husband was here. You don't know what happened for 5 days.

    I accused him of making the mess and not cleaning it. He said he did not make a mess on the stove. There's your answer. And he said the last time the kitchen was cleaned, he did it. Good guy.

    I pointed out, that He was the only one here, (he's fully aware of that. Parent/child behaviour on your part)) it was either him or someone was coming into our our all ninja like and making the messes and leaving them. Oooh, sarcasm.
    He said, "yea I guess." trans. "Believe what you like"

    I demanded he admit that he was the only one that could have possibly made the uncleaned mess What if there was another possibility ?and he refused and said he "did not appreciate me accusing him of lying" That sounds assertive and reasonable
    I still know he did it. No you don't, you're not clairvoyant. Why won't he just admit to it? Because he said he didn't do it !

    Signed,
    It's Monday I have a busier week this week than I did last week and I won't 'be here to protect my kitchen. Perhaps he'll eat out every night for safety.

    Is everything O.K. at home ??

    M bigmouth posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:29:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 1397 of 1381
    Joined 11/26/2005

    O.K., I'd composed my reply and posted it after your last one and I didn't check. That background puts a different complexion on it altogether.

    I've taken you off the the 'Control Freak' list.

    F lisavegas420 posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:34:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 3672 of 3587
    Joined 11/29/2002

    thank you.

    and I really appreciated the laugh.

    Found Sheep posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:40:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 2810 of 3453
    Joined 5/13/2009

    I expect a mess when I get home

    M Jim_TX posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:47:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 2954 of 3260
    Joined 5/12/2002

    ...a girlfriend, perhaps? ...who comes in and cooks for him? ...and makes a mess? (ducks and runs)

    CuriousUK posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:49:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 34 of 43
    Joined 3/10/2012

    I used to live with someone who could only be described as a 35 year old child... I would clean and tidy every day, make the bed, put everything right... and then go to work... I would come home to find the place in an absolute state all over again. I wouldn't describe myself as a clean freak, but it was exhausting to have to come home to that every day...

    When I was away from home for longer periods, it was even worse. When I lived alone and knew that I was going away for a number of days, I would change the bed linen, clean and tidy everything - so that when I came home I could just fall into bed and not worry about dirty dishes or washing clothes. With him, it was like a toddler had been on a rampage... I would find sweet wrappers shoved down the side of the cushions of the sofa, a mountain of dirty dishes...

    He was university educated, but had moved straight back into his parents hotel after finishing, and as a result, his mother waited on him hand and foot for ten years... He just simply didn't have a clue how to do the simplest of household tasks...

    It seemed like a bit of a joke at first, but it was emotionally wearing and I really grew to resent him, as it felt like he didn't care about me or my feelings... but I actually think it was his mothers fault for babying him...

    Amelia Ashton posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:53:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 714 of 1915
    Joined 11/2/2010

    And I just remembered all over again why I am happiest when I am single

    Witness My Fury posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:17:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 960 of 2837
    Joined 5/11/2010

    If he's burned the kitchen twice already then he defo has a problem there somewhere.

    palmtree67 posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:06:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 4538 of 4634
    Joined 4/4/2009

    This reminds me of a newlywed JW couple I knew....

    She was making a dish for a congregation "get-together". Meat was in the oven and she had made a sauce in the blender, ready to be poured over the dish. She then went to have a shower before the "get-together"..........

    When they were nearly ready to go, she poured the sauce over the dish and went into the cupboard to look for potholders. She finds.........a chewed up wooden spoon in with the kitchen linens....

    Asks hubby about it, and he claims to know nothing

    She says, "Look, it's only you and me here, and I know it wasn't me!"

    Finally, he admits that while she was in the shower, he turned on the blender, and stuck the wooden spoon in, which got chewed up in the blades.

    She was livid, and said, "You were going to let me serve wooden slivers to our friends???"

    She came to the "get-together" with no dish and in tears.

    LOL

    HintOfLime posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:14:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 1489 of 1634
    Joined 4/24/2009
    And I just remembered all over again why I am happiest when I am single

    Ditto.

    The original poster should have bought a glass-top stove and saved their family/marrage the silly drama. :P

    - Lime

    Lore posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:21:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 485 of 619
    Joined 11/10/2010
    Because he's a man - we have great difficulty admiting we are ever wrong.

    My Grandfather, expecting I'd be married some day, once gave me some good advice: "You have to decide if you want to be happy, or if you want to be right."

    He would admit to doing stuff he never did, just to make the wife stop harrasing him about stuff she mistakenly thought he was responsible for.

    That was the second best bit of marriage anyone has ever given me. . .

    CuriousUK posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:26:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 38 of 43
    Joined 3/10/2012

    I wish I could "like" your post Lore.... What was the first best bit of marriage advice you were given?

    milola posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:33:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 137 of 192
    Joined 3/21/2009

    Ooooooo. I hate to say this but you I think are being a little fanatical. He may not have realized something dropped down in the burner and probably was the last one to clean the kitchen being that you had been out of town and just got back and WHOA all hell breaks loose because you smelled burning grease on the burner. If I were you I would quit my job or whatever takes you out of town for a solid week and stay home to protect your stove.

    Lore posted Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:47:00 GMT(4/9/2012)

    Post 486 of 619
    Joined 11/10/2010
    What was the first best bit of marriage advice you were given?

    Don't get married.

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