Awkward Silences

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    TOTH posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 19:21:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 378 of 662
    Joined 1/9/2012

    I can rememebr MANY such silences growing up in the wt. One that comes to mind was back in the mid 80's. I was a young twenty something fellow and had gone to the dc in Fresno, CA with my parents and my brother. We stayed at one hotel and were invited to another hotel for an after session get together with some of the others from our congregation. I showed up with my brother and there sitting in the hotel lobby like bumps on logs were several of the twenty somethings we went to the hall with.

    We said hi to everyone and sat down. No one spoke so I asked how they liked the day's session and they all nodded and said that it was very nice. WOW, such enthusiasm I thought as I looked at their blank stares. I wish I could have perceived their response as I could now! LOL

    So this one MARRIED sister came up to me and asked me if I wanted a drink from the bar and I declined. I had had a drinking problem in my teens and had sworn off the stuff but tried to keep THAT out of the conversation. She asked me a couple of times to join her and her husband for a drink at the bar and I declined again. Eventually I tired of saying no and I told her that I had a problem with alcohol, became very surly and combative and that it was BEST for me to NOT drink. She said that one little drink could not possibly be bad and her husband said for her to drop it. So they went to the bar. No one else went with them.

    So there we sat, about 9 or 10 of us just looking at each other. My brother rest his soul saved the evening though! He said that we had to go and digest the wonderous meal Jehovah had provided through his Faithful Slave. Meditation and scripture to prepare us for Sunday's presentation was what he and I needed. We thanked them for their invitation and bid them all goodnight.

    We drove back to our hotel and talked about what a bunch of fish they all are. When we got up to our room we turned on the tv and watched HOWARD THE DUCK! Ahh perfect meditation.....LOL Oh and he did read out of the bible about how bad associations spoil useful habits.

    Anyone else ever experience those weird moments with other young people at gatherings???

    F rebel8 posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:02:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 8454 of 10024
    Joined 1/13/2005

    I'll reply so you don't have an awkward silence on this thread.

    I can only remember awkward silences in dubbery that I directly caused.

    Usually the dubs here were never quiet. Inane, unending chatter. Exceptions occurred when I asked questions about doctrine or challenged the jw cultural norms.

    iCeltic posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:10:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 229 of 549
    Joined 10/22/2011

    Agree with rebel, unending chatter.

    F blondie posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:00:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 33523 of 37598
    Joined 5/28/2001

    I had 2 pioneer sisters that I either had to go with or go by myself which the elders said I could not do. The whole time they never addressed a single word to me and would not answer me if I talked. They were mad that I had to go with them, they had "worked" together with each other and no one else for years.

    Once I went to a book study and no one talked to me and my husband. It was strange like not having been invited to your JC and being df'd in absentia.

    Violia posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:08:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 2868 of 3532
    Joined 4/11/2009

    I look back on this experience with jws and getting used to not being addressed or outright shunned . I now see how strange it is to continue to attend a church where no one wants to talk to you- yet this was not at all uncommon at the KH.

    Why did we let them do this ? I found that it carried over in my life as I was used to being ignored. This is so sad .

    F Quandry posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:23:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 3804 of 4151
    Joined 5/17/2006

    Once I went to a book study and no one talked to me and my husband. It was strange like not having been invited to your JC and being df'd in absentia.

    Wonder why they didn't speak? Did you attempt to speak to them?

    Once my husband was giving the talk at a different congregation-I think it was in Daytona, Florida-and a sister came up to me and called me Ms. Quandry. I was so perplexed...weren't we supposed to be sisters? They were a very strange congregation...

    talesin posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:46:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 11476 of 14533
    Joined 6/24/2003

    I found that it carried over in my life as I was used to being ignored.

    Yes, now that I think about it, Violia, it's so true. In the Truh TM , we were only heard if telling about a new, exciting FS experience, or the latest in 'style'.

    It has been challenging, to find my 'voice'.

    tal

    Morbidzbaby posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 22:05:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 1380 of 1644
    Joined 3/31/2009

    violia and tal~ Yes, same experience here... Like when you're in a group and you start telling them something and all of a sudden someone cuts you off and you just kind of trail off in what you were saying? I hate that! I experienced that all the time when I was a JW...the popular crowd didn't like to let anyone else in. Or they'd look at me like I was totally daft.

    talesin posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 22:18:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 11478 of 14533
    Joined 6/24/2003

    Mb,, YES!!!!

    Like when you're in a group and you start telling them something and all of a sudden someone cuts you off and you just kind of trail off in what you were saying?

    arrgghh ...

    hehe

    tal

    F blondie posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 22:29:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 33524 of 37598
    Joined 5/28/2001

    Quandry, we did try to speak to them. Finally, the conductor said to sit down, the meeting was starting. Afterwards, after finding out we weren't df'd (I guess al visitors are df'd jws in his mind), they then were awkward for their bad judgment of us. It was a congregation with BIG problems we found out later (we were just visiting).

    We once visited a congregation and were totally ignored (Sunday). We were once again visitors but unknown to anyone. It wasn't until the 3rd meeting an single mother came up and talked to us. But still not a single elder and we were waved away because they were too busy. We found out later from a brother we knew well that that congregation was known for being unfriendly.

    Not all congregations we visited were like that and getting the silent treatment from sisters happens to more people than me.

    talesin posted Sun, 01 Apr 2012 23:59:00 GMT(4/1/2012)

    Post 11480 of 14533
    Joined 6/24/2003

    Blondie,

    I, for one, am glad you have a voice here. I have learned a lot from your Sunday WT TM over-views!

    xo

    tal

    TimeBandit posted Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:28:00 GMT(4/2/2012)

    Post 145 of 377
    Joined 11/25/2010

    My dad always used profanity, even when he became a witness (he used to be a sailor). He never cursed in front of other witnesses, but he did at home all the time. Especially when he was talking about brother so and so he didn't like. One time when I was about 6 years old there was this brother my dad didn't like named brother Colhorn. My dad's pet name for this brother was "brother Cornhole". LOL. Anyway, one saturday we ended up in the same car group as brother Colhorn. Well, I got mixed up when it was time for me to say a greeting to this guy. I said "Good morning brother Cornhole!"...I'm pretty sure everyone in the car group knew what the word 'cornhole' meant. My dad's face turned red and he quickly corrected me saying "It's brother Colhorn Chris"...After that there was an awkward silence. Nobody said anything else until they had to decide who was going to the next door. I think they all just chalked it up to me just mixing his name up by accident. I wonder what ever became of ole' brother Cornhole anyway?

    Chris-

    TOTH posted Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:46:00 GMT(4/2/2012)

    Post 380 of 662
    Joined 1/9/2012

    LMAO! My dad used to say cornhole too! He used to cuss a lot at home too. It's somethng that I do often as well.

    My wife's dad was never big on cussing but in their family the word joder/jodido is used as a word to describe annoying behavior or an annoying person. In MOST Spanish speaking countries it is the height of offensive and insulting language. Joder means to Eff someone or a jodido is an effer. So one of my wife's aunties was sitting at lunch with her kids during a dc. One of them was being bratty so she called him a jodido and the group of fellow lunchers fell silent. She looked around and asked, "Is that a curse word?" LOL

    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb posted Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:40:00 GMT(4/2/2012)

    Post 452 of 1171
    Joined 2/3/2012

    If you want to see awkwardness and silence in action just attend a co-ed witless gathering.

    It makes an uncomfortable middle school dance look like a rockin' time.

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