SO sad! The elders never cease to amaze me...

On FB yesterday, an OLD friend of mine 'friended' me....and once again, I was hesitant to actually accept because I didn't know how she would feel about me being DF'd.  But I accepted, and she sent me a msg. Well we ended up talking back and forth for awhile, and found out that she lives RIGHT around the corner from me!!!!!!!!!! I invite her over, and we ended up talking for HOURS (from 8pm-11pm) and had a GOOD time laughing and reminiscing about our high school days.  BUT then we get on the topic of JWs, and I came 'clean'...told her that I have been DF'd for 2yrs and have NO desire to go back. I tell her MY story about how I ended up leaving the 'truth' (my abusive ex, the assault charges, the PFA, and the unloving elders) and then I tell her about how the CO personally got involved in my case, reopened it, and ended up telling ME that it was 'my fault'. 

So when I'm done, she starts telling me about what happened to HER...now back in the day, this gf was DF'd, and that was the last time I spoke to her - cause she was pregnant and of course I had NO idea what happened. All I knew was that she was not married and having a kid - so obviously she was sexin it up!!!!! WRONG....she starts telling me that this one 'brother' in MY cong back in the day (who was WELL known for being a man-whore) had attacked and raped her with 3 of his buddies. Now thankfully, this girls neighbors witnessed the guys entering the home and called police, and they were all apprehended - except the one from my cong.  So this girl finds out she is pregnant, and goes to the elders weeks later...she tells them what happened, and the elders tell HER to keep it quiet - they will handle it.  And as usual, they don't!  Turns out that they call her back in a week later, and tell her that she is being DF'd - as the 'brother' claimed it was mutual (he too was DF'd).  Now this girl gets MAD...she goes to the police, and they end up filing charges against these guys, but because of some technicality, they all only get probation.  A year later, the DO comes through on a visit, and reads her case - demanding it be reopened. Once that happened, they overturned her DFing...but by now, awhile has gone by, and this girl suffered ALONE (since no one could talk to her).  She said that the elders NEVER apologized - they only 'encouraged' her to KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT about what happened to her...and to let it go.  This girl has this kid now, is a single parent, and NOBODY knows what really happened to her...all they know is she got pregnant, got DFd, and was reinstated.

UGH!!!!!!!! That story made me sick.  But it was so WEIRD how we both 'kinda' went through the same situation with the elders and CO/DO. Talk about a small world in this ridiculous religion.

OMG! That is awful. Disgusting. The men in the organization have way too much power. That has always bothered me tremendously.

I'm so glad she found you and hopefully both of you can get some healing. I'm sure it helps her to be able to talk about it with someone who understands.

All the best to you both.

Well, at least she did go to the police, some Dubs are so brainwashed if the elders tell them don't go to the authorities they actually do it, so at least she took the right step and reported them.

Ya know, so much goes on in that "back room" that the R&F have no idea about unless they've been there, done that. The ones that toe the line and don't make waves never really see what happens before a DF'ing. They just assume "Well, they weren't repentant, so they got what they deserve". Not always the case. In my brother's case, he had been smoking and got caught, but he also had had sex with his girlfriend, whom he planned on marrying. His friend (the "golden child" of a couple that were both JW, whereas my brother and I were raised with an unbelieving father) had commited the same "sin" but threw my brother under the bus in order to save his own slimy arse and was given a private reproof. When the elders asked my brother "Are you going to have sex with her again?", my brother replied "Well, yeah we're gonna get married, so I assume that after that we'll be having sex"...and he got DF'ed for being unrepentant. Along with that, his best friend (also the child of an unbelieving father...noticing a pattern here??) was DF'ed the year before and his mom had died. My brother asked the elders specifically if he could talk to his friend at the funeral, considering the circumstances. The elders okayed it, but after the fact, they brought it up in his JC and used it as yet another reason to DF him.

My own JC's were presided over "fairly", I would say. But I have heard so many horror stories of people who were innocent or were sincerely repentant and got DF'ed anyway.

But Jehovah installed these men as elders, therefore, they must be right.................

Sad and infuriating at the same time.  

I'm glad she has you now.  

Tammy

The elders are trained to be all about keeping it quiet.

SO, is this girl out of the JW's now?  Will she be a friend now that she knows about your situation?  I hope so.

Strength to you.

Its really disgusting to read these stories of such injustice ...these judicial committees should be banned...

Loz x

Babygirl, how amazing that she lives so close to you!  As a Catholic, I'd say that this is God's way of giving you some support when you need it most.  

What pricks the elders are.  And to think, this is something they aspire to. 

I'd like to take a baseball bat to the heads of all those elders covering over sin. That story is infuriating. It's brings back memories of my own case and I just want to torture these bastards.

I've never felt such a horrible combination of indigestion, anger and sadness.  I don't know whether to vomit, punch somebody or just cry.  I'm really sorry by what happened to you and your friend.  Like Tammy said, at least you girs have each other now.  My heart goes out to you.  Jehovah, or Yaweh, or God, or whomever is up there will make sure they get what they deserve.  Best Wishes.

Jedi Master

Go Soldier!

someday, these people "elders", just have to get punished by god or someone, that's what I'm hoping

Your story is so amazing, thanks for sharing.  Elders in a group will never apologize, only if you catch one by himself will he maybe apologize.

It's all about keeping Jehovah's organization clean.  Didn't Jesus say something about whitewashed graves ...... ?

Yup

Matthew 23:27-28 (New International Version)

 27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

YES! This girl and I will be FRIENDS again now that we've caught up and live so close!!!! What's sad is that when she was telling her story I kept saying "me too"... and it was all over the way the elders handled both our situations.  Traumatic things that happen at the hands of JWs, and it's just supposed to GO AWAY? Be left in Jehovah's hands? What ended up happening was this 'brother' who raped her - turned around, got married and reinstated, and then raped OTHER sisters!!!!!!! They would come forward, and it was quickly 'hushed' by elders. Oh, and even worse, he was accused of molesting a lil BOY in the cong. This lil boy was being raised by a single mom who was a ghetto hood rat whose MAN HUNGRY - and she was close to this 'brothers' family.  So when the lil boy started acting UP, and his he came forward about what was going on (his being molested), his mom shipped him off to live with his father!!!!!!!!  And she continued to associate closely with this 'brothers' family like it was nothing. It's sick. 

It still boggles my mind how women KEEP getting the short end of this stick in this religion, and that something so VULGAR as 'abuse' (rape, molesting, beating, etc) are to be kept quiet - otherwise you are bringing reproach on Jehovah's name?! That's what my own PARENTS told me when I wanted to go to the police to file criminal charges against my abusive ex after he tried to kill me...

My friend has been OUT of the org for 9yrs!!! So the fact that I went through a similar situation really eased the 'tension'

I think it is important to keep these types of experiences at the public forefront on the board.  It is horrible the things that have been done to you ladies and countless others, as well, and often when an experience like this is told to an active JW they claim that it is either A) an isolated incident that never happens in MY congregation and/or B) something that used to happen more often but that Jehovah progressively cleanses HIS organization.

Both of those retorts are demonstrably false thanks to brave women like you who share their story with the world.  Thank you.  I'm ashamed to be a member of the male sex sometimes but I'm proud to be a member of this board with a bunch of really good people.

Strength and blessings to you and your friend, Babygirl30! A very heartwrenching testimony. It is wonderful that both of you have found each other and can grow and heal together through the bonds of true friendship and support.

BABYGIRL30,

I am sorry to hear this sad story.  I truly despise this religion.  It deserves to be exposed to the whole world and thank God for the internet.  When I think of how they have the audacity to knock other religions and especially the Catholic church, I am livid with rage. 

They love to compare the church to Babylon the Great and say how 'her sins have massed clear up to the heavens......etc.'  The problem is:  the Catholic church has been around since the third century or so.  We are in the early 21st century, so they have been around for roughly over seventeen centuries. 

Just how long has the JW religion been around?  Only a little over one century?  And just LOOK at how CORRUPT the whole thing is in just this short time!!!  What in God's name would they resemble if they were around for 17 centuries????  I shudder to think about it.

Wow!  What a story!  Man oh man!!! 

Good thing she didn't keep quiet!

How thankful you must be to now be friends, you can lean on each other with this unique experience in life.  I can only hope karma is a b***h for these jerks.  Life is cheap to them.