C.O.'s: Why Are Elders Such Cowards?

The stories never stop.  Abusive, egotistical, demanding, ungrateful and arrogant Circuit Overseers all over the place and "men" -the elders - take it.

I have seen a number of these itinerant predators offend entire congregations with their behavior and I can count the incidents where elders actually showed some b@lls and stood up to them on one hand.  Why are elders such cowards?  Considering the tiresome burdens of being an elder,  you would think somebody would be eager to get removed for making an issue about their behavior.

Among the few who showed courage was an elder who had a terminal disease who spoke up and contradicted one of these jerks.  Another (who had lots of money) handed him cash and told him he "loved his enemies"!

Does it really take impending demise or a huge bank account to manifest a little backbone?  Make my day and fire me, you childless, broke-a$$, tin pot dictator......

metatron

But how do you really feel Metatron?

WEll, i wasn't an elder but I stood up to one of these dictators when the CO was gladly accepting a $60,000 RV and $40,000 truck that he did not need when an elderly sister was going to be homeless.  I confronted him and said "So, I heard that one of the reasons that my suggestion that this money be used instead to get sister xxxx a decent place to live is that you objected to it.  What scriptural basis do you have for taking money that you dont need to replace equipment that is still quite good while an elderly widow goes homeless?"

The CO acted like I wasn't talking to him and just kept moving toward his car, I ran around him and blocked access to the car door and said "WELL, I want an answer."  Then the CO told me I was being insubordinate.  I said "I'm not an elder so you have no power over me so how can I be insubordiante?".  I finally just left in disgust as the CO made it clear that he was not going to answer my question.

Ever been in a fight with an arrogant middle manager at work?  Unless he's already pissed off the guy above him, its a fight you are going to lose.  The CO's are closer to the top, and I'm sure their version of any dispute is what will be believed; at least until they accumulate a sizable record. 

metatron,

As you note, there have been a few who would speak up when the situation merited.  Most of us were too concerned about our standing, speaking assignments at the next circuit or district assembly, etc.  Another emasculating factor is the "respect for those taking the lead" and "double honor" BS, you know the Aaron/Moses thing. 

On an occasion many years ago, I politely disagreed with a CO during an elder's meeting.  After the meeting, one arrogant kiss ass who had just been appointed city overseer tried to ignite a "disrespect for a circuit overseer" lynch mob, but the furor quickly dissipated.

I thought of several examples of elder courage after reading your post.  I will relate just one from the 70's:   Gerald Grizzle was serving as a district overseer and met with the elders.  He had a prepared outline from the society which he kept to carefully.  As we know the 70's presented a lot of dress and grooming issues.  The outline recommended that elders take note of how folks were dressed and groomed when attending church services in our respective communities, the idea being that JW's should reflect at least that standard if not being even more conservative.  One very young elder raised his hand and was acknowledged.  I still remember his words almost verbatum:  "Brother Grizzle, with all due respect, since when do we allow Christendom to set the standard for anything we do?"  You could see the blood rush to Grizzle's face.  He folded up the outline and aborted the meeting, saying something to the effect that he could see that instructions from the faithful and discreet slave were not being given appropriate honor. 

tms

Gr

I feel you Met.

There is something detestable about wimps but bravery against all odds that strikes a cord in the heart of men:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLqEWDo1VQk 

If you believe jw doctrine and "being appointed by holy spirit" of the CO and yourself - and I suppose most elders sat in a meeting with a CO do - then that puts the brakes on them speaking out. If a CO rides roughshod over a body of elders in those circumstances then anyone speaking out will be quickly crushed by the CO's "authority" and the elders compliance with "Jehovah's arrangement".

If you don't beleive all the above rubbish and you're still on the body then Jeff T's "middle manager" scenario in his post above is absolutely spot on. I know this from being in exactly that position. When I resigned as an elder in around 2004 it was due to a strong difference of opinion with the CO and the other elders simply did a lot of handwringing and basically said they would keep their heads down for a couple of years and wait for the CO to "move on." When he left they actually asked me to go back on the body but I was free and clear and still well thought of in the congregation so declined.

Back then I still beleived (gullible fool that I was) enough that if the Holy Spirit was really involved then that CO would be removed at the end of his three year slot (which was due up in 2006) because his behaviour - arrogance, going overtime bigtime, shouting on the platform - was being whispered about in all the congregations in our circuit and being brought up with the DO and the branch. But no ... He went on to another circuit and did exactly the same and has just been sent to another one where he is up to his old tricks again. (Ecclesiastes 8 v 11 )

So for me, standing up to the CO was the best thing I ever did - I resigned from being an elder on the service committee and had no more group to look after or regional build responsibilities - and just sat back. But if anyone wants action taken against a CO they'd better have big gun back up and a cast iron case of almost judicial proportions.

Considering the tiresome burdens of being an elder,  you would think somebody would be eager to get removed for making an issue about their behavior.

That's just it - despite the burdens, being an elder - being important in at some some aspect in their lives - is the most valuable thing these guys (most of them anyway) have.

Remember, these guys are (for the most part) undereducated & underemployed. They don't strive for advancement at work (to keep their lives "simple") and don't join any outside organizations (to keep "separate from the world"). Being an elder is the one thing - THE only one thing - that makes them feel a little bit special.

"Well, maybe my mortgage is underwater, and I have $40,000 in credit card debt, and I've driven the same POS car for the past 15 years, and I'm utterly bored at work, and have no meaningful relationships with anyone, and my kids hate me....but, hey, hey, I've got a part on the next circuit assembly!"

You think somebody in that position is going to stand up to "Jehovah's anointed" (well, at least a representative of them) and rock the boat? Ain't gonna happen unless, as you say, someone wants to quit, or has nothing to lose.

You speak up or speak your mind and your career is over as an Elder, you are red flagged from the local congregation all the way up to the Farm.

(from personal experience).

Ever been in a fight with an arrogant middle manager at work?  Unless he's already pissed off the guy above him, its a fight you are going to lose.  The CO's are closer to the top, and I'm sure their version of any dispute is what will be believed; at least until they accumulate a sizable record.

Jeff is bang on the money here.

The other thing to bear in mind is that it is 2 weeks a year. Once the CO has gone back to normality. Typical seagull management, Fly in, Make a lot of noise, shit all over you, and fly off again.

The hounders are trained to respect the hounder-hounders in the same way the publishers are to respect the hounders.  If the hounders do not uphold whatever stupid decision the hounder-hounder makes, they are likely to be in for a trip to the back room.  And, they feel doing so would make them unfaithful.

Metatron:

Your description of them as being itinerant predators is absolutely correct and very literal.  You are also correct in your description of them as broke-ass, tin-pot dictators.  Everybody should call these wishful thinking paper tigers on their bluff.   Bottom line:  all that these wanna-be dictators would care about is losing their perks and their cushy situations!

Happy Guy:

I was sickened to read this account about the elderly sister about to be homeless.  This is the absolute antithesis of christlike behavior.

This is why all religion really has to GO because it ultimately degenerates into something like this.

A thought that occured to me as I was reading this again, and back to my middle manager scenario.

I never was anything in the JW hierarchy, so I don't know this.  How much of the CO's behavior is actually sanctioned by the people above them, or perhaps even ordered?  The WTBS is backed into a corner, they're loosing money, the timeframe has failed utterly and they need to do something.  I've been in businesses caught in something like this, and frequently the response from the top is "beat the slaves harder until morale improves."

If this is going on in the WTBS I can see the complaint letter being filed under "somebody bitching about a CO doing his job" and forgotten.  The "rogue CO" also gives the WTBS a fig leaf to cover its ass with if needed.   

My experience is that most elders are not emotionally or intellectually prepared for the responsibilities of being an elder of a congregation.

Elsewhere is spot-on, but I also think the CO-elder relationship is just another form of the alpha-male phenomenon. The CO knows he is the boss--even the most "humble" know they are the boss where ever they go (except the real world), and that fact shows. All the other elders naturally fall in line, because they know they are not the boss. There are no ambiguities of rank in the JW religion... and that says a lot.

Typical seagull management, Fly in, Make a lot of noise, shit all over you, and fly off again.

love that!

freddo

Similar with me. Standing up to a CO cost me all my priviledges at the Circuit, District, and RBC. Very discouraging at the time but look what it led too?

My family left the WTS. My daughter hasn't a clue what the JW's are like, being raised with a normal life, and several others in my extended family gained courage from our experience to leave. At this point, almost the entire family from my wifes side and mine have left except two.

Not to mention all those we didn't help into the truth since leaving. We always had 1-2 being baptized at each CA.

When we address Xmas cards, I always tell my wife to send one to that CO and thank him profusely for what he did. We and all those owe him a deep gratitude of thanks for being such a jerk.

   The binding, restricting effect that this concern for organizational submission can have on person's minds was illustrated to me by an experience related by Robert Lang, then the assistant Bethel Home Overseer at the international headquarters. He had been transferred to a different congregation in the New York city area and he said that at one of the first meetings he attended there the elders approached him for advice.

   It seems that a young woman, the sister of one of the ministerial servants, was disfellowshiped and was still attending meetings. She had a small baby and brought it with her to the Kingdom Hall in a baby carriage. The Hall itself was on the second story of a building and the stairs were long and steep. The young woman would back up the stairs, pulling the baby carriage - with the baby in it - up the stairs as she went. The question the elders asked was whether it would be proper for the disfellowshiped woman's brother to assist her in getting up the stairs! Some thought so, others said, no, being disfellowshiped she should be considered as if she were not even there. To his credit, Lang said, "I don't know what the rule is on this, I only know one thing: if I'm around when she starts pulling that carriage up the stairs, I'm going to help her! When I think of what could happen if she were to stumble and lose control of the carriage ....'

   The most frightening thing about this is that adult men did not feel they could be guided by their own hearts and minds in a circumstance so obviously calling for human kindness. The pressing concern for them was - not the danger to the infant's life - but WHAT THE ORGANIZATION POLICY ALLOWED in such cases [emphasis: RF]. They gave evidence of having become emasculated men in matters of ethics, of right and wrong.

   Franz concludes by stating that Robert Lang was for him "the kind of person he was, not because of the organization, but in spite of the organization."

IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM, Ray Franz, pp. 404, 405.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/142719/1/A-Man-in-Spite-of-the-Organization-ISOCF

I was "just a sister" without the requisite body parts to "show some b@lls", but I did stand up to one CO at a meeting for service.

As usual for such special occasions, three times the usual number of witnesses were in the KH. They had scattered themselves around the available seats in comfortable clusters, taking care to orient themselves toward the stage rather than the back of the hall where we normally met for mid-week service.  

That was not good enough for this CO.  At meetings for service, he would announce that everyone should pick up their belongings, move to the front rows, and leave no empty seats.  This display of micro-control over personal preference irked me deeply, not to mention that I hate being crammed into crowed seating arrangements-especially when more than enough seats for generous spacing are available. 

That morning, I got to the hall just as he was preparing to begin.  The rest of the dutiful sheep had bunched themselves into the first three rows as instructed.  I slipped into a seat two rows behind the bulk of the pack, and prepared to stand my ground...er...sit my seat. 

The CO opened his booklet for the morning text and looked out over the group to begin.  His eyes landed immediately upon me. 

"Come on up here and join the rest of us," he said in a tone that was inviting on the surface, but commanding in its undertones. 

"That's OK, I think I will stay here," I said in return, trying to keep my delivery light, despite the fact that my heart was racing at my rebellion.

He repeated his 'request' and I my refusal.  I could see a of micro-burst of anger, even rage, sweep over his face at being publicly defied.  He quickly covered it with smooth jocularity, pointed his finger at me and said, "We'll talk later."

I said, "Yes, we will."  But we never did.  No one ever said anything to me about the incident. But I did not move.

It felt like a victory to me.