Suddenly - JWs are coming at me out of NOWHERE!

I have had 2 really NICE experiences running into JWs recently, and just wanted to share that even though MOST are still 'stuck up' and make the choice to shun me - there are still some really GOOD ones out there that don't take the org directions on DFing seriously - and those are the ones I respect and continue to hold in high regard:

1.  My buddy that was in my circle of 'friends' when a JW texted me out the blue Tues night. I didn't REMEMBER him (saved only his 1st name in my phone) and just could not figure out who it was. So after going back and forth for about a min, I called - and then I remembered!! Well, he asked me about how I was doing, what I was up to, my job, and the very LAST question was "are you back yet"? I don't know why - but it made me CRY!!!! I literally have not talked to this guy in a long time but started bawling when he asked me that. I just explained all that happend (with the elders, the CO, my ex fiance, his family, and then my parents) and he actually started crying on the phone (not bawling or anything...but I could hear him snifflin). He then told me about his sister (who has been DF'd for years) and that he never believed in shunning her - she is his blood, his family, and that he feels it's wrong to cut off fam. Not to mention that their parents are physically disabled, so they cannot take care of themselves at all...he and his younger sister live with the parents and care for them, and their older sister (the one tha tis DF'd) comes and helps. His point was that they are still a 'family' whether or not their sis is a JW ... and so they all still associate with her.  He said he was crying because #1 he didn't know all the details of exactly what happened to me till I told him, and #2 he felt BAD that my family is treating me this way.  MInd you, this guy is an MS and on his way to elder (giving public talks). Of course he tried to encourage me to just go to another Khall in another area, but I have to admit, he was NOT pressuring me nor did he make me feel bad when I told him I have no desire to go back to the 'org' anytime soon.  In the end we talked for about an hour, and then he asked for pics of me...said he missed me and  knows that whatever decisions I make, I will be ok.

2.  Had dinner with a girl that was in my cong growing up that I was NEVER really close to...and then she got DF'd years ago. Was out for a few yrs, then got reinstated (solely for the purpose of being in her sisters wedding), then literally the day AFTER the wedding, she bailed! -hahahahaha. Never set foot in a Khall again.  Of course she is not DF'd now, but is inactive and living her LIFE - dating, going out, working, in college, etc.  Anyways, we ran into each other months ago when she was in town visiting her family, and exchanged numbers. Tried making plans to catch up but things never worked out. FINALLY last night it did! WE had such a good conversation...and learned a LOT about each other that I think we never knew because we didn't run in the same circles. Turns out she our stories are very similiar (in the org) and that she has been in therapy in order to get it OUT of her head - all the cult like treatment, her upbringing as a JW, not having an identity (or support) when she was DF'd, finding her way in the 'world', debating whether to come back and STAY being a JW again, etc. We talked for a good hour and then parted ways, but it was really NICE to see her and feel 'understood' by someone. Her parents are both still 'in' the org, but her brother walked away, and now her younger sister (and husband) are having major DOUBTS about the org and are struggling with leaving in a huffy or gradually fading. The ONLY 1 that has stayed in is her eldest sis, but she is married and pregnant - so her 'idea' of HAPPY life involves JWs.

Really made me feel GOOD these past few days because it just reiterates (as does this site) that I'm NOT ALONE! That others feel and agree with me...my ideas about the org are NOT 'far fetched' and out in left field as my parents would have me believe. Just a really GOOD couple nights in a row with some JWs....

There are some good ones. When I lost all my grandparents in a matter of 8 months time....I found out the ones that were still decent in our area as well. Considering that my grandmother on my father's side still claimed JW as her religion, even though my grandfather did not, they had a JW funeral. So of course a few of them attended. And some spoke to me and were quite friendly. They even seemed very happy to see me. One was shocking to me. An elder who I used to vehemently despise, seems to have made a turn around over the last ten years. He came up to me and asked about me and my children and seemed genuinely interested in our wellfare and did not once ask when I planned to return. So yes I do think there are some good people in the religion, just as there are good people in all religions everywhere.

Glad you had those experiences, it makes you feel good doesn't it, to know some of your old friends do still care? I have Witnesses all the time from my old congregation say hello on the street and ask me how the family is. And they are still active too. One sister asked if my family was happy and I said yes. Then she gave me a big hug and said she was glad to hear it.

Our family was always known to be very spiritual. So it was a shock when we changed halls (we were in the first one 10 years, since we got baptized) and then left a year later.

Most still shun us but those are the ones who were never our friends anyway. There are so many ex jw's from our old hall in our area its not funny. I think at least 40% of the congregation bailed in the last decade. Maybe even more. I counted about 40 to 50 ppl and several entire families. Most were in for 20+ years. My husband and I now have a lot of support in our area from old JW friends. Peace, Lilly

Those are great stories babygirl.  I hope to see some people I used to know and one day they will say the same things you did.  That is really good to read. 

I'll never shun you.

Please send pics.

AWWWW....SixofNine!

If I send pics - I am NOT responsible for where ur hands go! LMAO!!!!

I'll take that deal ;)

*elbows Six*

I'll take those pics thank you lol

Ok...well then....may I kindly have your cc#, billing address, and full name on the card? Oh - and do NOT forget the 3-digit security code on the back. Once I've processed ur cards, the pics are YOURS!!!!! 

I could never exploit women like that, babygirl3oh.

So please use tryingtoexit's billing address, and my shipping address.

Baby Girl,

There are some good people who really do care, but feel that they can't associate with you.

If you DF'd then they would never cross that line. They are being disloyal to Jehovah (you know the organization). 

People don't call me but once in the while they will email me I am not DF'd but they will say how are you, I always respond I am great thankyou for asking. The org has so much control over people unfortunately (I was one of them). and they can't see out of their bubble.

Looking in from the outside I feel bad for them.

Keep your head up!

M

SixofNine

It's not about exploitation sweetie ... this is BID-NESS!!!!! -hahahahahaha. You got the money or what??

feeling good

You're so right! My gf (who is still 'in') comes to visit me or we will meet up on the LOW...and she begged me the other day to come back cause she was sick of visiting me in SECRET! I just laughed, cause it's sad. I mean we are grown ass women, we've been friends for years, but she is NOT permitted to speak to me in public or be seen with me because of a RELIGION. Doesn't make sense at all. She is a good person at heart and I love her to death, but it's just really sad...like you said.

Don't be fooled into thinking that he is one of the GOOD JWs.  How many times have we heard the likes of, "....knows that whatever decisions I make, I will be ok....", then, after they have bagged their babe, they start with the psychological warfare to drag them into the cult.  The worst case is when children arrive and then the non-believer's decisions are perceived as death threats to the kids.

I don't think I have any JW relatives that are not experts at polishing turds.  They often use examples in their family or congregation to make them look less cultish or intollerant than they really are.  Every time a JW does this, there will be something about the example they gave that they conveniently forgot to mention.  Ask a question that threatens to expose their subterfuge and they can get pretty snarky.  Honesty gets a lot of lip service in my family, but don't expect any.

Cheers

Chris

I just came across this.  I think it illustrates a point I was trying to make.

WT Oct 15, 2009 QFR page 12

Yes. A man who wants to marry needs to
prepare properly for that responsibility. If he
is physically able, he will have to work. Of
course, a man's hard work in caring for his
family should not be limited to physical matters.
God's Word indicates that a man who
does not care for the physical, emotional, and
spiritual needs of his family is worse than one
without faith! (1 Tim. 5:8) Hence, in preparing
for marriage and family life, a young man
should ask himself such questions as these:
'Am I reasonably prepared to provide materially
for a family? Am I ready to be the spiritual
head of a household? Will I fulfill the responsibility
of conducting a regular Bible
study with my wife and children?' God's
Word certainly stresses those vital responsibilities.—
Deut. 6:6-8; Eph. 6:4.


Compare that to ".... I have to admit, he was NOT pressuring me nor did he make me feel bad when I told him I have no desire to go back to the 'org' anytime soon ...... he asked for pics of me...said he missed me and  knows that whatever decisions I make, I will be ok."

Funny how they go to the KH and get taught one thing, but when they are talking to a potential recruit or bride, or a bit on the side, they spout something else.

Cheers

Chris

I recently spoke to a JW who's stil active on the phone and she never mentioned about when I'm coming back. She wanted to know how my job was, family, dating, etc. It was nice talking to her...

There are alot of good JWs who are very genuine and dont take the shunning seriously.

Ciao,

MMN