Assembly Parts NEVER made sense to me....!!!!

This is and always has been one of my biggest gripes:  assembly parts/experiences.  Not 1....EVER......E-V-E-R was even remotely relatable to me. Now i have traveled all over the place (and to other countries) and I have sat amongst rich and poor JWs, suburbanites and urbanites, siddity folks and straight 'hood'.....and not 1 assembly experience made me sit up in my seat and say "WOW - that's just like ME!"

1.  Inevitably, there is always some young sister on the platform sharing her 'blessings from Jehovah' because she refrained from smoking a cigarette or she turned down a date.  Yet she always managed to find 1 fellow classmate willing to study the Bible with her. Turned down a cigarette? Um...I went to an inner city school - those kids were smokin GRASS sweetheart. They would've ripped the pages OUT the Bible and rolled them into blunts!! Cigs are NOTHING where I came from. Oh...and lets pat this sis on the back cause she said "NO" to A DATE. That must make me a skank cause I was turnin down grown MEN since I was 12 (and grew breasts) and have had classmates, workmates, strangers ont he street driving by - offering to screw me every which way but Sunday - so A DATE would actually be flattering to ME.

2.  Then there is the young brother who swear off 'dating' because he wants to pursue "spiritual goals"....so once THAT falls from his mouth, ALL the young sisters go "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH" and you can hear it in a crowd of thousands!  Then he talks about not going to college, not getting involved in basketball even though it's something he LOVES, and how he wants to go to MTS and then become a CO someday - blah blah blah.  Again, let's pat HIM on the back for being such a standup guy....but what he DOESN"T tell you is that the reason he isn't dating is cause he's unattractive, socially inept, and is a mamma's boy - so NO self respecting sister even wants to bother with him.  Turn down college? WHY...where does he plan to work? Is Jehovah gonna send him a monthly check he can take to Wachovia and pay his bills with? Oh that's right - NO! And his lil basketball game he soooo loves but is not as important as field service? Uh-huh, I could outshoot him and I'm a GIRL! (3-pointers, nothin but NET baby!!!! ) Of course when this same brother doesn't have a car because he can't afford one due to NOT getting and education and working only PT AND he still lives with his mother ....HOW does that apply to me?  WHY would I want to be interested in a brother like that?

3.  Lastly, the 'couple' that is just soooooooooo happy to be serving Jehovah together...got married at 18, they both want to quit their jobs, work cleaning houses, and become missionary couples. WOW!!! Everyone claps... loudly...and they continue telling their little story. 

I just had to comment on this one.  Absolutely dead-on.  Every part always made me think, "Are these people actually human?  What's really going on beneath the skin?"  I always thought, with some of those experiences, that these people had unbelievable emotional problems that were almost emanating from them right there on the platform.  I could just feel it.  And I always wondered, how the shell do they expect us to be like them? 

Oh, there was a really dumb one about a guy who turned down a football scholarship.  My first thought was, is it likely he could be offered a football scholarship without having played for a football team at some point?  Maybe, but he didn't look like FSU would just pull up and offer him a scholarship without seeing him play.  Felt like part of that story was being concealed--even my bro, who is hard-core Borg, noticed that!

Anyway, yeah--the parts just seem so cloned.  The more I understood mind control, the more I got it.  Robotics truly is our field of study.

SD-7 

The weirdest I heard was a couple of years back at Bournemouth District Convention.

We were told about a guy who lived on the Isle of Wight (an Island off the South Coast of England) and commuted each day to London, in order to work in city (this is approx a 3hr commute each way) where he was obviously earning big bucks in finance. He was an appointed man (an Elder from what I recall) and despite his self imposed stupid daily commute he never missed meetings, and took the lead in weekend FS.

Everyone I spoke to asked why was he used as an example? What sort of quality time could he possible be giving his family. He could move off the Island and move nearer to work or find a job nearer to home. So we were expected to see his stupidity and putting family behind career and congregation as an fine example.

babygirl - you nailed it!!!!

How many times I sat in the audience totally bewildered. A full ride to Harvard??? WOW! and you turned it down to marry Mr. disgusting with the big ass and little hands and undersized head? and all you want is to clean houses and breed babies and serve your God and your congregation? oh.... and you are happier than anyone you know?? You never took the SAT or ACT and oh yes, you quit high school at 16 to get married. Now how is it that Harvard offered you a full scholarship?

                   It`s my experience the storys are rewritten..

                           To the satisfaction of the WBT$..

                  By the time it gets to the Assembly platform..

              The story is nothing like what actually happened..

                    The WBT$ wants the story,they want..

  They never let the truth of the original story,interfere with that..

                                                                                            ................... ...OUTLAW

WHY would I want to be interested in a brother like that?

Well, what kind of "brother" are you interested in? 

careful, John Doe's nickname is 'Butt Sunday'.

1.  Inevitably, there is always some young sister on the platform sharing her 'blessings from Jehovah' because she refrained from smoking a cigarette or she turned down a date.  Yet she always managed to find 1 fellow classmate willing to study the Bible with her. Turned down a cigarette? Um...I went to an inner city school - those kids were smokin GRASS sweetheart. They would've ripped the pages OUT the Bible and rolled them into blunts!! Cigs are NOTHING where I came from. Oh...and lets pat this sis on the back cause she said "NO" to A DATE. That must make me a skank cause I was turnin down grown MEN since I was 12 (and grew breasts) and have had classmates, workmates, strangers ont he street driving by - offering to screw me every which way but Sunday - so A DATE would actually be flattering to ME.

LOL! Were you at my assembly with the young sis next to me who said this? (and may I say, for her 15, me 15 at the time, she had da goods....)

2.  Then there is the young brother who swear off 'dating' because he wants to pursue "spiritual goals"....so once THAT falls from his mouth, ALL the young sisters go "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH" and you can hear it in a crowd of thousands!  Then he talks about not going to college, not getting involved in basketball even though it's something he LOVES, and how he wants to go to MTS and then become a CO someday - blah blah blah.  Again, let's pat HIM on the back for being such a standup guy....but what he DOESN"T tell you is that the reason he isn't dating is cause he's unattractive, socially inept, and is a mamma's boy - so NO self respecting sister even wants to bother with him.  Turn down college? WHY...where does he plan to work? Is Jehovah gonna send him a monthly check he can take to Wachovia and pay his bills with? Oh that's right - NO! And his lil basketball game he soooo loves but is not as important as field service? Uh-huh, I could outshoot him and I'm a GIRL! (3-pointers, nothin but NET baby!!!! ) Of course when this same brother doesn't have a car because he can't afford one due to NOT getting and education and working only PT AND he still lives with his mother ....HOW does that apply to me?  WHY would I want to be interested in a brother like that?

Well, I did say I would stay single.... but then I got married at 19, leading to....

3.  Lastly, the 'couple' that is just soooooooooo happy to be serving Jehovah together...got married at 18, they both want to quit their jobs, work cleaning houses, and become missionary couples. WOW!!! Everyone claps... loudly...and they continue telling their little story. 

LOL! You HAD to have been at this assembly... To bad our dreams came true....

careful, John Doe's nickname is 'Butt Sunday'.

Hey, shut up dinky! 

I never could figure it out.  How one can be happy giving up opportunities for a better life to serve the WTS.  But I guess it is all how one looks at it. 

I remember elderly couples getting on the stage and telling how happy they were by sacrificing everything to serve the WTS.  But many of them were ex-military so they draw Social Security and Military benefits.  Therefore they were not starving or medically in financial need.  But young ones being sucked into this will be surprised when they get older and not have military retirement and health benefits.

I'm not making FUN of these people by any means...whatever they deal with personally MAY be a 'temptation' to them. But to me, it's not and never was realistic. Come on....give me a gorgeous sister that men DROOL over, and how she says 'no' to them and keeps it movin in Jehovah's direction till she finds a nice brother to marry or whatever.  Show me a FINE brother (brotha????) up there that has women throwing themselves at him, but he is NOT arrogant and loves Jehovah - so he is 'nice' to everyone but doesn't get tempted by the 'booty'! LOL!!!  Better yet, put a couple on there that admit at times they couldn't STAND each other...he cheated/she cheated....they beat their kids - whatever. Just make it REAL.  Shoot, they wouldn't want ME up there 'keepin it real' - hahahahahahaha. 

John Doe - I like the 'dark' meat on the bird (it's juicier!!! hehehehe)...so I was interested in brothas!

AllTImeJeff - Literally been to assemblies ALL OVER...and I swear, every one has that SAME experience. Some plain lookin sister that when you see her in the hallway during lunch you wouldn't even give a 2nd look let alone a 1st - telling how she 'stands up for what's right'. PLEASE!! If that is the best they can come up with...well...I have nothing to say.  If I WAS at your assembly, you couldn't miss me. I would've been the one rollin my eyes and shaking my head thinking to myself WTF?

this past summer DC a middle aged couple spoke about how they both lost their jobs.

Interviewer:"so what did you do?"

Couple:"We decided to pioneer!"

Lots of applause from the middle class in attendence while I picked my Jaw off the floor.

Oh, dont't worry, before leaving the stage and right after his closing comments he mentioned "Brother" finally got a new job.

Maybe they are like several pioneers where i grew up, living off food stamps to pioneer, what a wonderful example.

Not to get off the topic of personal experiences at assemblies, but I was absolutely shocked at the drama two years ago.  It was no longer good enough for the Society to use a bible story, or a reenactment of a modern day situation as perceived by them to promote their message, but they had to meld the two in order to create a more powerful effect.  They had actual bible characters, in a fictional story, promoting the beliefs of the Society.  They were actually rewriting the bible in front of everybody's eyes.   And nobody cared.  I guarantee you that there were plenty of Witnesses there that saw it that actually believed it really happened.

John Doe - I like the 'dark' meat on the bird (it's juicier!!! hehehehe)...so I was interested in brothas!

Depends on how you cook it. 

As experiences are concerned, my favorite involves the brother that was pulled over by a cop.  Why was he pulled over?  It was because the cop had been observing him for some time and was amazed at his attentiveness to the laws.  Of course, the brother was able to explain why he was such a law abiding citizens.  It was because of his christian upbringing.  What an outstanding witness.  I think they even said he got an award from the city.

I am not sure if that came out of a magazine or a part on the assembly, but that one always sat in the back of mind as the biggest crock.  If you make something up, at least make it believable.

Most of the "experiences" from where I was were similar--giving up work, school, or their recreation to pio-sneer.  Or, pio-sneering despite having 60 different disabilities.  Or, someone that is in the audience right now (notably, they never locate these people) that are getting baptized after refusing the cancer, because their spouse or relatives hounded them.  Always the same--this means they probably made them all up.

What they don't say is just how extreme the costs of doing this are.  They give up a real life to pio-sneer.  However, they are always struggling, they never enjoy anything except dragging themselves up at 5:30 every morning, and they usually end up dying young (usually well before 70).  They die destitute, usually of preventable illnesses from all the stress of field circus all the time or of stagnation.  And, they produce no value for society.  Those who remain single or refrain from having children for the cancer usually regret it, but they are not allowed to say that.

I remember a teenager who wanted to pioneer with her friends, but thought she couldn't because she had to watch her little sister after school.  She solved her problem by dragging her little sister out in service too.   Of course, everybody clapped.   I'd like to know if little sister is still in the "truth."

Outlaw mentioned that the experiences are re-written.  I can confirm that with an experience of a personal friend of mine and his family.

They practiced for months what they were going to say and do in their part.  Then on the day of the part, during the morning walk through the DO, who hadn't bothered attending any of the previous rehearsals, tried to get them to change everything.  Brother stood his ground and finally when the DO wouldn't give in either, he took his family and left; refused to change the part.

The DO got another random family from somewhere to go up there and say what he wanted said.

Oh I know parts are 'altered' ... WAY back in the day when I was about 13/14, my family had a circuit assembly part and we practiced that thing TONS of times - UGH! Finally the week of the assembly, we 'perform' for the CO/DO - and they had us change this and that...say this, be more animated, dont' say that. WHATEVER!!! This is not some Broadway play nor is it an Emmy award winning performance.

I just never felt 'understood' at assemblies.  As if MY life or MY temptations were abnormal...so much so that the society NEVER touched on them at assemblies. WHY is giving up a college education,  a sports career, a secular profession, a financially secure life, not going out on dates - all grounds for APPLAUSE and CHEER?  Show me someone that has their head on straight, is emotionally BALANCED, has a good job, provides for themselves, got a college education, AND still serves jehovah - plus they are doing fine. They aren't 'suffering' like the org says they would be...

The experiences are scripted, that is why they sound so unreal and fake.  

Noticed how in some circuit they always use the same people….

And yes, it always amazes me how some geeky looking guy always talk about this girl that out of no where is ready to have sex with him because he is so “different” and he manages to say no to her. But for some reason, many of those guys look like chronic masturbators. Just saying.

(I was so bored at the last Special Assembly…we just had a district convention talking about Armageddon is near…two three months later, another assembly talking about “the time left is reduced”.)

Interested Observer

I think I remember what drama you are talking about. It the one which had the elderly Apostle John visiting a congregation in which he had a confrontation with a brother who was promoting “going mainstream” who said to John, “you are out of touch because you are old” something like that. I remember thinking, I don’t see how this whole drama really relates to any of the issues addressed in the Epistles or with the historical account found in the book of Acts.