wife took it pretty well i guess...it's over...

i guess it only took three years, but they were hell in so many ways for both of us...she was not happy and lived in denial as much as possible...i was not happy and lived in a bottle as much as possible and glad that is over for me....but it was one of the saddest things i have ever experienced in my life....as was the visit to my parents before i told her....but yes...she said she kind of expected it...was thinking something was going to happen soon as she noticed i had more and more trouble saying i love you back to her when she said it on the phone at the end of goodbyes...and when i was leaving the house...i had noticed it for over a year and it was killing me....

i told her how sorry i was for changing so much again....and that she still walks on water...and is a great person and so pretty....and that she will be ok because she was happy single before me for many years and had all she needs for that again...her closeness to jehovah and her freinds in the congregation...she is very close to both and will be ok i hope...it was very surreal....very calm...very sad

my bitterness and disdain for WT rules came through when talking to my parents and i was VERY open about how i feel as to their upcoming shunning of me, and how it feels to my son since he was just 17....and how the fear of losing them had kept me trying in my marriage for the past few years...dad was firm in his position of future action....mom said they will still always love me...and will still talk to me until i get dfd.....oh how this hurts.....dad said there is a name for people who only live for themselves and deny god but could not think of what it was....i told him i was not living just for myself...that i am a good person and there are values from him and the bible i hope i always have....i cry so hard as i type this and tell you just so you can know how painful this is....i told him i so loved the rule of treating others how you want to be treated and have ALWAYS done that...even allowing myself to be wronged on so many occasions to keep peace......

he said that was a good rule....i agreed and said it was a big one too....and that while i could do it...treat him the way i would like to be treated...HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO!.......left as i became emotional...big hug from mom, but i just barely put an arm on dad............oompa

awww ompa

kinda sick that a jehovahs witness single add is the top pop up here....i really dont like that

I have a feeling, that although this is extremely painful, it's as if a burden has been lifted.

Stay strong, start a exercise routine and write your thoughts down.  Do not start drinking to numb the pain.  You will get to the other side and have happiness soon.

lisa

So sorry to hear that oompa......wish there was more I could do for you...it is not an easy postion to be in at all.

I wish you all the best for your new life, Oompa.

Chris

(((((oompa)))))

crying right along with you, mate

Newborn

Hello oompa,

I pray you find life. From my experience you find it in Jesus, whatever the situation

John 10:10 (Contemporary English Version)

Dearest oompa, this chapter of your life my be sad and coming to a close.  It opens a new one though, a new page, clean and ready to be written on.  May your life be a much happier and fulfilling one.

All the best.

Oh mate!  I've been where you are but I was lucky enough that my wife eventually followed me out.  I'm only sharing that for the lurkers that read these topics, full of fear and apprehension, wondering where their lives will take them if they leave the Watchtower.

What happened to you oompa has happened to so many before and you have my very real sympathies and best wishes.  But you're a good guy and I know you won't mind me posting this positive thought on your topic; IT DOESN'T ALWAYS GO DOWN LIKE THIS.

It's a painful process and it very often fails but sometimes you CAN get out of the cult with your family intact.

For anyone struggling to free themselves or loved ones from the Watchtower.

All the best,

Nic'

Oompa,

I am sorry for what you are going thru.  I know it is rough.  Don't forgoet you have friends on here who will be there for you.  You will make it thru this...I am sorry about your parents.

We'll talk soon.

Oompa, I am so sad to read of your pain this morning. When I was going through the tragedy with Andy and my grandson, two summers ago, Frannie Banannie told me, "Heather, you don't see  it now, through your pain, but this will open many doors and windows of opportunities to you." And she was right. I thought I could never live through that level of pain and loss. But I have and here I am  to tell you that this too really shall pass. It gradually gets better and you have lots of friends who love you to help you through this.

I'm sorry to hear it, Oopma.   From reading your posts here, it seems you've known all along that it was something you were going to have to do.  It was either this or go back to the organization and tow the party line.  It is a shame that Witnesses choose to blindly follow some old a**holes in Crooklyn rather than show love to their family.

At least you're not in limbo anymore, although I know it hurts terribly right now. 

Maybe some people will witness the path of destruction and broken hearts the Watchtower leaves in its wake.

Very sorry to hear this.  I would think that the scripture would hold true "Love conquers all", I guess it can't conquer cult mind-think.  I've heard some marriages end up working out.  I'm not sure if this helps at all with the relationship with your parents but my mother keeps contact with me specifically because my sister is in California and when it comes down to her needing help the congregation will certainly do it for a month or so but after that they'll end up leaving her on her own.

So if your parents are advancing in age you could point out to them that if they decide to shun you they'll have no one after the congregation abandons them.

Oompa... my heart goes out to you.  I am so very sorry to hear about your marriage and that your family has been blinded by this cult.  It always boggles my mind that they say to love your neighbour; your enemy and treat people the way we wish to be treated but when it comes to actually following through, they do the exact opposite.  Why can't they see this as hypocritical?  The destruction they cause is wrong. 

oompa,

It takes SO MUCh strenght to take ocntrol of ones life, far more than to allow others to control it, like JW's do.

My heart breaks at the saddness you feel and yet I admire your strength and will power for doing what is right, not what is easy.

My our beloved Lord give you and your family the strenght, love and compassion you and they need at a time like this.

The first step is the hardest and to take it shows tremendous strength and love.

We are here for you as best as we can be.

I'm so sorry Oompa... 

I know there is no consolation for a heart that feels broken, but it does mend , it takes time but your heart will find a way to recover from the grief. Many here have had similar experiences to yours and we all share a common bound that comes with the responsibility of leaving this organization. No person can leave unscarred, but we have all survived.

Atom   

Oompa, thinking of you. I always enjoy your contributions to this board, you are obvioulsy a good individual and you do not deserve bad things to happen to you. I know you will be able to rebuild that side of your life, I hope you can do so quickly. Take Care CL