A Hypocritical Witness Story

So I have this girl I've grown up with right.  She's about 4 years younger than me and always had a crush on me in our teenage years, but I never dated her cause I looked at her like my lil sister or cousin.  I get married in 2006, and she doesnt come because she was too hurt to see me make that step and it not involve her...because of this we lost touch for a while.  We got back in touch through myspace and I was seeing how she was a totally different person, she was going to clubs all the time, wearing crazy revealing clothes, and getting drunk out of this world.  Even though at the time I was still a Jehovah's Witness......I never once judged her or treated her any different.  Over the years she would get wind through our mutual friends that my wife and I were having problems, this led to her in 2007, to start sending me pictures of her in the restroom at the kingdom hall or other random pictures and verbally flirting with me via tx message.  Once again I've known her my whole life so I just brushed it off, never once flirted back, just said I'm flattered every now n then.

These past 2 years I've noticed alot different from the girl I grew up with, she uses profanity like crazy, was having sex with her "spiritually weak" boyfriend 3 times a day and never to this date has told anyone about it.  I never judged her or treated her any different...

Last week she's talking to me crying, I see she has a romantic interest from Facebook so next time she tx's me: "Hey Boo" I respond: "Hey, how is your other boo?"

She says "We're having problems, he wants to go to Florida to play football, he's got every college trying to recruit him.  He wants to go to the NFL badly and has the talent to do so, but I dont think I want to be apart of that lifestyle.  He said he would give it all up for me but I dont wanna hold him back"

Me: "Is he a Witness?" (just wondering cause how can a sister everybody think is in good standing be on boyfriend number 209578345 that isnt strong in the truth)

Her: "Yeah but he doesnt go like he should"

So I'm thinking neither do you, but I really dont care because I'm on my way out the cult so I could careless about the guy and his stance with JW's, but I try to offer some advice, to not let the relationship continue on if you are positive you're going to want out down the line because of him being exposed to "groupies" in her words.

Which leads to today.....she sends me a pic as usual saying "Hey Sexy".....and I'm thinking....for somebody so upset over your current situation you sure dont mind txing a married man and sending him pictures.  I thought even though I did grow up with her, I have to let her know PARTIALLY where I stand with the cult and this will probably make her chill some on the heavy texting without hurting her feelings or whatever.

I say "Hey what's up?" Her: "Nothing, thought I'd send you a pic, I been thinking about you like crazy" Me: "Word? What have you been thinking about?" Her: "EVERYTHING, like all the what if's...." Me: "Well, Ive been doing alot of thinking as well, real soon I am no longer going to be a JW, I've done alot of studying and I was hurt to find out the truth about the truth" Her: "Wow, didnt see that one coming."

3 hours pass

Next she says: "How do you know that you've discovered the real truth?" Me: "I havent found the real truth, nor do I claim to have all the answers, I just know that I tested my faith and it failed horribly based on our own publications and teachings"

5 hours pass

LOL....all the contact has ceased

Then bout an hour ago she texted me saying: "I will always love you and have a relationship with you, but you do know this will kill any chance of us ever being together, because this will give your wife scriptural grounds for divorce, and therefore our contact will be very limited from here on out"

After that she hasnt said anything else...

Sooo I'm thinking: #1. How you claim you a spiritual minded chick when you dont even know the grounds for divorce mentioned in ANY bible?! #2.  Look in the mirror at everything "worldly" you're doing in your life but you're going to cut me off because I investigated my religion and no longer decided to be in it? (Makes a lot of sense huh?) and #3.  So I lost my chance of being with you because I dont want to be a JW anymore???

ROTFL!! Hilarious, how hypocritical man....I havent responded yet, I dont think I will, but the logic of even witnesses that dont live the way the WTS wants them too is even funny to me.  I dont know where I've got this strength from, but I feel I'm ready to take on everybody and count my losses because in the end my freedom feels more important in my heart than ANYBODY......FAMILY......or FRIEND...

Just thought I'd share that silly little story with yall, sorry it's so long...peace.

That is interesting. I had a friend who ran off from his wife at Bethel with a worldy girl. A month later, on  a Sunday morning, his girlfriend said, "let's go to church", He said, "No way! That's Babylon the Great!"

So, it was ok to cheat on his wife, but not on JG.

They do have a warped  sense of right and wrong, no?

"I will always love you and have a relationship with you, but you do know this will kill any chance of us ever being together, because this will give your wife scriptural grounds for divorce, and therefore our contact will be very limited from here on out"

This poor girl is more brainwashed than moral.  Your having a wife hasn't made her lose interest in you, but your status as an exjw has...WOW!

"I will always love you and have a relationship with you, but you do know this will kill any chance of us ever being together, because this will give your wife scriptural grounds for divorce, and therefore our contact will be very limited from here on out"

that sounds totally space cadet,  why on earth would she think theres any sort of relationship or chance of you being together? you're married and she knows youre married.

I'm with Nelly, how on earth did she think she had a chance with you? Man oh man, weird!

Hi TTE,

That kind of sums it up! It is clear what the WT do not want JWs reading the bible and studying on their own. Also the WT certainly not want JWs to associate with anyone who does! Otherwise something like this might actually speak to them.

Revelation 22:12-16 (New International Version)

Blessings,

Stephen

There are hundreds of thousands of victims like her.  Not in.....  Not out....

They can be like that for decades......  I was.

Throw her the kind of question that nobody asked me when I was a half in/half out, mentally disturbed nut job.

If somebody had sat me down with a 1/1/1965 Watchtower and insisted I wrote them up a king list, they would have been doing me a huge favour.

To Black Sheep:  Was there something special in the 1/1/1965 Watchtower?   seek2find

Thanks for sharing.  Some of the most bizarre ones are the disfellowshipped ones that support the WTS doctrines still and will shun someone who committed a WT-defined sin such as adultery or smoking (about the worst), yet they haven't even moved toward going back.

Just curious how old are you? (then I can see how old she is)

As far as you talking to her,... I know she's like a sister to you but your married and I just wonder how your wife feels or if she knows at all... not trying to say this to make you feel bad or anything, I'm just curious how this is all played out. I mean it would be different if you shared the text that that girl sends and you and your wife are both looking at her text and laugh (or whatever your "friendly" feelings are).

Is she someone you would consider being friends with after you leave JW organization? Yeah I agree with your feelings

ROTFL!! Hilarious, how hypocritical man....I havent responded yet, I dont think I will, but the logic of even witnesses that dont live the way the WTS wants them too is even funny to me.  I dont know where I've got this strength from, but I feel I'm ready to take on everybody and count my losses because in the end my freedom feels more important in my heart than ANYBODY......FAMILY......or FRIEND...

I have had experiances like that... one of my friends was a hypocritical... really evil married girl. I kinda mentioned her in other posts but yeah I laugh of the whole thing. It's really rediculous how things are runned in the Organization... It allows some to run around as hypocrites, the repented to be punished, and the forgiven to suffer... And sence Elders act as police once they get suspicious or get whiff of a rumor, it allows alot of chaos with them interviening with family matters. So be careful who you tell? She kinda sounds like the type that likes drama.

And becareful incouraging her flirting. Obviously she likes you. Do you like her? She's a hopeless romantic.. hence the chasing after a married man. Don't incourage it. It's just torchering her and it's not making much of you... besides your ego. Again not trying to be rude... I mean I know what that feels like but somewhere that playful flirting has to stop... unless you want something to come of her and you.

#1. How you claim you a spiritual minded chick when you dont even know the grounds for divorce mentioned in ANY bible?! #2.  Look in the mirror at everything "worldly" you're doing in your life but you're going to cut me off because I investigated my religion and no longer decided to be in it? (Makes a lot of sense huh?) and #3.  So I lost my chance of being with you because I dont want to be a JW anymore???

I'm sure she doesn't feel like she is all spiritual.. I think it's more like a feeling of I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I know divorce is bad and being out in the world is bad. That's all. She doesn't really use logic or her mind of reasoning instead she just goes with oh I remember we aren't suppost to do that... and then be wishy washy about the rest. She numbs her conscience to certain things or justifies it in her mind that well at least I don't do this... It's kinda what I went through when I was in denial. I had a DF boyfriend for a short period of time when I was going through denial... I was inoccent and a good girl as far as being a JW goes but once I took that risk of meeting my soon to be mistake of a life time, I was in all denial.

First, I thought he loved me. Umm why because he said it to me when we were drunk (at the time had no idea what drunk does to a person). Then from then on he said he loved me after I said I loved him. Finally after a week of saying we love each other, he confesses and says sorry I said I loved you but really I don't love you, I mean geez we don't even no each other. Ok so that made sence I agreed and I then said yeah I kinda said it because you said it first (which he doesn't remember because he was drunk)... well a day passes and I'm going crazy inside... maybe I really was in love. I mean I never said this before and now this was my first love (in my head at the time). Yeah I look back and roll my eye, God I was so dumb. I learned it was infatuation. And that is strong in itself, especially when your both attracted to each other physically. But it effected me and hurt me... I held on to this fictious love for 2 years before I really got over it. And geez we only dated for 2 weeks... crazy. This excuse though got me to do crazy things... I was hurt so inorder to get over it I dated others... I did things justifying my wrong and I hide things. It didn't make it right but I was angry and bitter bout the whole thing. He wasn't even around to witness it so  I don't know really were my mind was at that time. Like I said I was dumb and immuture. But he would keep intouch with me and I would him... I think it was to boost his ego and for me it was just away of keeping tabs on him. We both had our own relationships with someone else but still we had to play this games. We would say we were just friends but in all reality it was more a secret game between us.

Just saying... I'd be careful with this girl. Umm yeah we kinda had a relapse... my public reproof for being with a DF turn into my first DFment because of that relapse. (I was kinda attracted to the dark side... but as far as being a JW I remember say to him out of fear, we can't talk because you are DF and I didn't want to get into anymore trouble, well hello I can commit a sin the be justified by telling him he can't talk to me because his DF then realize later I love him and say, oh my bad, lets talk and be friends, ha yeah right we commit a sin again, yeah I wasn't the brightest on in the world)

 That happened 3 years ago, and look at me now. I just now found out after investigating my religion that it wasn't the truth. So take her as an ignorate person for the time being. Maybe she will grow up and investigate it herself. She still has alot of growing up to do as far as the hopeless romantic thing... So I'd ignore her flirting and only talk to her when she is being serious.... but that's just if you truely care for her like a sister... let her know your stand between her and you.

Why, she's a brazen little heifer, isn't she?

I found out later on in my involvement that a lot of JW's act like this.

Then, they have the gall to sit in judgment of other religions.

H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S!!!

Sylvia

@ Butterly- Yeah my wife reads them with me, she has a guy named Cam she grew up with "in the truth" that texts her and sends her pics and they have small talk, and I know about it.  It's just MY friend is always flirting, and my wife thinks it's funny cause she knows I dont entertain the silly words she be throwing at me, but yesterday was hilarious, like how you gonna be the true definition of a sinner but want no ties with a soon to be ex-JW? Strange...and no your comments didnt offend me, it may appear as I was encouraging flirting but I dont, I usually show my wife what she says and then we laugh and talk about what I should say back, I know it's wrong to mess with her like that, but she's got a boyfriend so I dont care, lol.  But nah she doesnt like drama, I talked to her this morning, she called and said she wouldnt tell anybody my feelings so that I can handle it when I'm ready, but she's worried for me that I wont get everlasting life, that was about it.  And your story is quite interesting, I guess I left out alot of details in the original story, I just planned on typing what happened to show the logic is so dumb.  But, she has a man, and she knows I'm married and how I feel even if I was single she couldnt be with me, but she lives in her own world, she just thinks from what she heard from my relatives 2 years ago, that one day I'll be divorced cause I was having problems in my marriage, but she thought I would still be a witness when it was all said and done.  So me telling her I'm not going to be a witness anymore shocked the hell out of her.  We rarely talk as it is, but I still got love for the girl, and I like I said I know its wrong to let her say certain things to me, just as it's wrong for my wife to have a guy compliment her in texts all the time.  We both laugh at it, but my way of dealing with it was dropping that bomb on her.  Plus she lives 300+ miles away from me, and 60 miles from my parents,  I'm not worried about anything, my wife think she's delusional.  I think she'll be okay if she can wake up and smell the coffee like me, but like some of you guys above said.......there's tons of witnesses in or out that still believe what the WTS teaches and will shun others despite what they're doing, I simply cant comprehend why people do that...

Oh and I'm 27, she's 23 or 24...

but she's worried for me that I wont get everlasting life, that was about it.

But she will acting the way she does?!?!?!

I'll also add I have 3 male cousins that use to go to her hall, they all live in TX now, and all 3 of them are on wife # 2, I have 2 aunts that went to her hall and they are on husband # 2

So she always thought she was going to be with me when she turned 18, but I was dating my wife at that time, and like I said I've never had romantic interest in her, she even looks like she could be my sister, she looks like me with long hair, lol, lol, so she was mad at me for a long time because I crushed whatever dreams she had in her own world.  I knew it was real when at the District Convention when she had just turned 19, her mom came to chat with my family in our section but rolled her eyes at me and would not speak to me, I knew then like wow what's going on wit this.

But I ignored it cause I got love for her and her moms, and I dont like drama, she eventually got over it and started dating all those "spiritually weak" guys, but she always thought just like my other relatives "Oh he's having problems in his marriage? They'll be divorced soon and I'll be wife # 2" in a nut shell that's how she viewed it, I always had to let her know.....everything is cool between me and wifey, then a month later it'd be the usual "I hope you're doing okay, hope all is well, I'm worried about you"

Why would she be worried about me when I always say everything is cool??? Because she WANTS something to be wrong so I can tell her then she can move in for the kill.  I'm no dummy, I know how they play da game and I dont get caught up like that, even when I wasnt getting along with my wife I wouldnt tell her cause I knew her intentions, but that didnt change the fact that I still got love for her and her fam because we go waaay back.

I could be wrong but I think thats why she wont get engaged, like she's waiting on my marriage to fail so she can swoop in like a vulture, but I try to tell her, even IF.....key word IF.......that happened I would NOT date YOU.  So thats another reason why I told her "I no longer want to be a JW anymore" so if me telling you NO will not erase those thoughts out your head, maybe this will..........................and it worked....

So there's a little background info into the whole situation...

I knew it was real when at the District Convention when she had just turned 19, her mom came to chat with my family in our section but rolled her eyes at me and would not speak to me, I knew then like wow what's going on wit this.

Can you feel the loooove?

Just think, these are the people to start off the "new earth"!

Sylvia

Haha she needs to get laid by some hotter then you I guess... lol      ....Worked for me!  jk jk (um not really... I had a huge crush on a different guy befor I met the guy I thought I feel in love with) wow yeah that seriously was in my crazy days.

Yeah I feel ya man... we girls can be a pain sometimes. lol  It's good to know that some of us move on and actually do grow up. For me I think the best think ever that that guy could have done was join the army and marry this other girl plus didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to him. I officially could move on and now I'm engaged to this wonderful amazing guy... and I did it all the right way. I still think about his family but since I left the JW organization and no longer go to the meetings, a year later it's like the JW world no longer exists. I feel good and free. I once and a while have relapses with my feels about being DF because of my family but for you if you leave silently... you will be better off then me, at least you wont have the DF title on your back and the nosy gospers will eventually be less likely to intefer with your personal life depending the scene your wife leaves, but that's just what I've witnessed, on this board you can find some with a different story. I just now got my hands on Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, I would consider reading it and sharing it with your wife. It maybe an eye opener... and that would be important for your wife's opinion on things an helping with your smooth exit.

Butterfly- Yeah I feel you, thats the plan...to fade out.  Nobody talks to me or calls as it is now anyway.  Sorry to hear about those situations but you seem to be happy now and that's all that matters.  I envy you.....I look forward to next year when I will "really be happy"

(That sounded like a talk at the end, lol, oh well)