I live with little respect from my mate ...

I have been married for over 30 years to a woman who was as good as I could have realistically hoped for and I probably am as good as she could have hoped for.

Yet, over time, she has become less and less willing to respect my experience and conclusions concerning life. The signs of disrespect are a knee-jerk reaction to doubt and correct my point of view even before I complete a thought or sentence. While some of that can be seen in her Mother and may be conditioned, my departure from the organizartion and her continued dedication to same has amplified her apparent inner distain. It's quite clear for me to see. For instance, should an elder makes a suggestion, she smiles and readily complies, even when their seems to make little sense. Should I make a similar suggestion, her facial response is just the opposite. No words are exchanged, she simply tunes me out.

So, is my situation unique? Do others tolerate  such  relationships because the pluses still outweigh the minuses. Is it ever too late to walk away and live what's left alone?

According to one of the latest Wt she is obeying "Mother"

I was called a week or so ago & they read to me part of the WT where it was telling wives
they must obey Jehovah( the mouthpeice at the front spouting Jahs words) & they do NOT
have to obey their husbands, Unlike when I was a JW we were told we MUST obey hubby
&  mine wasnt a JW. But the elders told me I must obey him,UNLESS he told me to do something.
that was OUT of Jehovahs Will. ( That meant I must do all except what the Brothers? told me to do).
So your wife is probably seeing your indifference to some of the WT teachings & wants to obey
the WT.
What a pity after so many years of your marriage, you wondering if it is worth it.
I am so sorry to read this. Good luck my friend

I wouldn't tolerate that. Would she?

Talk to her about her behaviour.

Hi B,

If she really was following the bible she would do what this says

1 Peter 3 (New International Version)

Join the club.

I tune my hubby out sometimes, not because I don't respect him (I do) but because he can me quite talky at times and sometimes my ears get overloaded.

Josie

Interesting point by sista jones.  Maybe, you talk too much:)  On the other hand, if the lady i was w didn't respect me, i wouldn't be there for any longer than it took to get my things together and organized and get out of there.

S.

mouthy, I think you got it!

Thanx

Go to marriage counseling. If you are lucky your wife will go two times, tops. You will find out what you want to do, friend- you already know what you're missing.

Personally I always found that submission crap--from the Bible, litter-ature, or from a penis person's lips--terribly offensive.

She may be compliant with what the elders tell her and look like she is ok with it, but she doesn't seem to really feel it.  Her true feelings about obeying males may be evident from her behavior toward you.

If that's the case, quoting books that say, "I'm the boss of you, you small-brained/weak-muscled/subordinate rib woman," is probably not going to achieve the outcome you desire.

Maybe try saying specific things like, "When you roll your eyes when I make a suggestion, that hurts me and makes me question whether you love and respect me."

You have been married a long time. Sometimes after so long things seem mundane and you take one another for granted. The communication

slows down you know each other too well and things become predictable. Often times just by doing little things together, little surprises

re-news the sparks all over again. Its like dating all over again and it becomes exciting. Marriage is always work but there is lots of history

together, and its always worth the effort to try your best to make things more smooth. I've been married 31 years now and we are best friends.

I know it is harder when one is in and one is out, but if you try not to focus on the religion and just try to do other things together it will help. And

she will not see you as a threat to her being a jw.

h4o

"Is it ever too late...(to leave an unhappy relationship)?"  It is a very subjective decision. The individual must weigh the emotional and financial cost. You may have already realized that after 30 years the complications may be more than you are willing to take on. You sound like a couple that no longer communicates (or maybe you never did) but I can't see the harm in setting down with her and laying out your feelings as stated above and then listen carefully to her response. It might make your decision easy.

Rebel this comment:

Personally I always found that submission crap--from the Bible, litter-ature, or from a penis person's lips--terribly offensive.

Makes you sound just a tad crazed. Is that the intention?

I think exacerbated would be a better word

Is it ever too late to walk away and live what's left alone?

Who says you'd have to be alone?

It sounds like she squeezed out of you what she could and now you're just dead weight.

She should be with a real mf for a while, she'll change, sometimes we don't know what we've got until it's gone.

Anyway, remember that she's under mind control.

If she is in and you are out, think about it: she doesn't respect your "beliefs", now. And then compound that with a long, enduring relationship and you get your current communication issues.

If things are pretty good otherwise, you can make them a lot better. How? By wooing her just like you did all those years ago. That's right, woo her. Make yourself and your relationship so irresistable that she fears losing it and you. Romance your belle's pantaloons off. Think of it like you just met her and you have decided, somehow, someway she is going to be your bride someday. What would you do to impress her, short of being a JW? Have fun with it. Start out slowly and build.

People get to settled and they forget to add the magic touches. Don't let the WTBTS get in the way of the magic.

Tell her things like you think she's cute when she's being fiesty. Take her off guard. Disarm her with your charm.

Tell her things like you think she's cute when she's being fiesty. Take her off guard. Disarm  Disrobe her with your charm.

Aw hell, make her feel like a woman