If you could cheat on your mate...

And guaranteed not get caught.. would you?

If it were possible that you could cheat on your mate, or significant other, and not get caught, would you do it?  I've often asked myself that, and asked my husband, too.  He always asks me if it's a trick question.  I am not sure what he means by that, but I think he means if he answers a certain way, that he'll get in trouble.  Hehehhe.  No, it's not like that.

I asked him that yesterday, and after him giving me a bit of sarcasm, he answered in a way that I thought was very thought provoking.  He said "If I cheat on you, I cheat myself."  I asked what he meant by that.  He said that he has set a personal standard of integrity for himself, and that if he violated that he would let me down, as well has God and himself.  I thought that was a pretty good answer, so I just let it go.  I have a pretty good man and consider myself lucky. 

But, really, we all know how that goes.  When marriages get bad, people are inclined to feel isolated, lonely, etc. and in need of physical human contact.  I've often thought that personal integrity would be thrown out the window in face of those types of situations, but I don't know.  What do you think?

For me: I just am not sure.  I know I wouldn't sleep with someone else while still married, but I might be tempted to get emotionally involved with someone else while separated or something along those lines.  What about you?

CG

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!  Because I would have to live w/my decision.  My husband cheated on me and I felt as if my heart were tore out.   And it does forever ruin the trust that you once had.     Juni~~~~~~~~

My husband has asked me that question quite a few times and I've always told him no I wouldnt cheat if given the chance.  I've had crushes on other men but I've never persuded it.  I have a crush right now but if the guy ever showed any interest I would run the other way.  I love my husband and my family and would never do anything to harm either.

Josie

It's me right... ok i wont show any interest...

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 

No, I would not cheat. I am a one-man woman, dedicated to him, and my marriage. Even if I could never be caught, my heart and my conscience would get the better of me. I'd have to confess, and it would destroy my love, my kids and my life. No can do.

Absolutely If a really gorgeous women approached ANY man and he thought that he wouldn't get caught, he would cheat and any man that says otherwise is pulling yer yanker. Just my tuppence

I don't agree w/you Caspian.  Pour quoi?  I've seen too many posts here and have talked to men who value their relationship with their wives.  Juni

I have even been given permission from my wife but I have too much integrity to do it. In the last year I have been pursued by two of the best looking women around here. When I say pursued I meant it hard pursued like a hound dog chasing a rabbit. My wife likes the fact that other women think I am handsome, she enjoys seeing me squirm. She says as long as she can be part of the action she is all right with it.

NO WAY IN HELL WILL I EVER CHEAT

Honestly, no.  I cannot imagine being as attracted to anyone as I am to my husband.  If I found myself becoming attracted to another man, I'd just avoid him to ensure it didn't go anywhere.  Also, I have to agree with your husband--I couldn't live with myself if I did cheat.  If things were that bad, I'd get separated from my spouse instead of live a lie.

  I have a single sister...

Josie

I wouldn't cheat on someone I love.....

Caspian,

See what I mean?  There are a lot of people that have self-control and moral values.  I hope you're not married.  (I don't remember what you wrote) but, if you are, I feel sorry for your wife because of your attitude. Like I said before - infidelity breaks the heart of the one cheated on.  It does change the trust and respect you have for that person who cheats.  If you have a problem w/your mate, go get help.  The answer is not to cheat to see if the "Grass is greener on the other side of the fence."  Also,  any good women /man would not want to involve themselves w/another person.  It shows the character of that woman/man.   She/he would want to wait until one relationship is over before starting a new one. 

Juni (one who knows first hand of the pain that infidelity causes)

I did it once for the very specific reason the get a scriptural divorce so that my estranged JW-husband would stop coming to the door and expecting, demanding that I provide the marital due.

Would I do it again? NO WAY The price to my self-esteem was way to highThat is exactly how I feel. Even if he never found out, I would know.

I'm all about stress-reduction. Best possible outcome is that the cheated-on spouse never finds out (as presupposed by the original poster), so at least you don't run the risk of stress from that direction. But when that spouse one day asks, "Have you ever considered cheating?" you'd have to lie. BAM! Stress enters the picture. (Or you'd have to tell the truth. Either way -- stress)

And this isn't even touching on the stress you'd personally feel from then on. Will the one you cheated with re-enter your life? Call you? Will you bump into them on the street? What if you fell in love with the person? The mind boggles at the skipfuls of stress you'd be begging for.

So no, I wouldn't cheat. Sorry Caspian, I can't back you on this one.

Dave

Tell that to the women I've turned down.

W

After my JW wife left me, I spent 5 years alone & celibate, because there had been no adultry. After that I started dating, eventually marrying someone who has become my 'touch stone'. I would never deceive her by cheating.

But, did I "cheat" on my first wife ? The JW's say, "Yes." I could still get DF for that.

What do you think ?

 

Rabbit