assemblies and my lovely wife

Advertisement

Viewed 3843 times

    stillin posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:04:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 394 of 1658
    Joined 7/20/2008

    I finally put a couple of pieces together that have boggled me for years.

    I would take my family to the conventions and assemblies and for some reason, my wife would always be upset or start an argument in the car on the way home, or in the week that follows. I realize now that her frustration is that I am NOT the guy in the demonstrations. You know, the guy who has the bestfriend/elder who always says the perfect thing and the guy is SO humble and does this little talks-to-himself thing where he reveals his DEEP spirituality and applies the ever-so-wise words of his friend and after that life is just great again!

    Really, the assemblies only make my wife hate me more because I can't just ACT the parts. The guy in the demo has it made! I bet he even gets some once in a while!

    It's not that I haven't tried at all to be humble or apply the suggestions or pray to Jehovah for help with stuff. It's just that I don't think that life is as simple as the demonstrations would lead you to believe. I might do better with my wife if I were an UNBELIEVING HUSBAND! The wives in those demos really lay it on thick for those guys!

    no... probably not...my wife isn't so good at acting the parts either...

    Magwitch posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:19:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 846 of 1506
    Joined 5/2/2008

    I know how you feel. My ex-husband was always disappointed in me spiritually. Constant friction after every meeting, assembly, convention etc........

    He now has a JW wife half his age that leads him around with a noose. He has to walk the plank 24/7 - she is an absolute religious nut.

    ziddina posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:21:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 4920 of 10450
    Joined 4/8/2009

    I suspect that your wife is unhappy because she sees the disparity between the Watchtower Society's fairy tales and reality, but she sees it at a PRE-conscious or subconscious level.

    And can't admit to herself that it's all a lie. She's still striving - vainly - for that 'carrot-on-a-stick' that the Watchtower Society dangles in front of its members' noses. She hasn't caught that carrot yet, but she can't understand why. Or she refuses to allow herself to see the REAL truth - reality - that it's all a gigantic shell game - a con game that she's been suckered into...

    By the way, WELCOME to the board!!

    Zid the She-Devil

    elderelite posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:22:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 1404 of 3229
    Joined 6/18/2010

    Stillin, I feel your pain. But allow me to present the other side..

    I AM the guy in the demo. I WAS the ideal (i say modestly) dubbie husband. I AM an elder. I DID everything a dubbie should do. It netted me NOTHING with her. EVER! Its not you.

    Good marriages are not based on obediance to the cult, despite what the cult tries to tell you.

    M NomadSoul posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:38:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 956 of 1663
    Joined 2/7/2005

    You know, the guy who has the bestfriend/elder who always says the perfect thing and the guy is SO humble and does this little talks-to-himself thing where he reveals his DEEP spirituality and applies the ever-so-wise words of his friend and after that life is just great again!

    LOL @ This. I wonder if any of the sisters ever had a crush on someone like this that went on stage. Maybe they had groupies.

    No Room For George posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:59:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 947 of 1758
    Joined 4/25/2011

    I've always felt that conventions and assemblies are nothing more than meetings on steroids. Remember the demonstrations at the Service Meeting and how unrealistic they were? You know what I mean, some JW playing the role of the perfect householder who always accepts the literature and is completely open to a bible study on the following return visit. Complete nonsense for anybody who spends enough time in field service.

    It's the exact same thing when it comes to the demonstrations, and dramas at the assemblies and conventions. As a JW who doesn't mind identifying himself as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I find these demos and dramas embarrasing when considering the possiblity that a nonJW may attend the convention and be exposed to gross stereotypes of themselves, not to mention the nonJW will recognize the blatant indoctrination being done to the JWs attending.

    I'm six in one hand, and a half dozen in the other hand as far as my belief on whether or not the WT knows what its doing in pumping out these unrealistic demos and dramas. On one hand maybe they're trying to raise the bar and pressure the flock to reach out for unattainable goals. On the other hand, maybe they've been stuck in their controlled enviroment for so long up in Walkhill that they're incapable of understanding what goes on out here in the real world. Maybe they don't know that life is not a television sitcom.

    VampireDCLXV posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:12:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 2368 of 2076
    Joined 8/3/2010

    Has it ever occurred to you that maybe those interviews/experiences on stage are tarted up or even outright bullshit? In many (if not all) circuits and districts, not only is embellishment of facts and outright lying encouraged, it's even expected of people. Lying for the truth, eh? What's presented on stage, overall, is a fiction of epic proportions. Nobody's life in dubbie land is even half as perfect or idyllic as what they portray on stage, in the magazines/books, etc. I'm not sure if you have entirely realized the extent of it just yet and it's too bad that your wife can't see that at all. I'm not sure what you can do, really. My condolences, man...

    V665V665

    charlie brown jr. posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:16:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 861 of 1823
    Joined 3/15/2011

    LMAO Vamp....

    I think you hit it on the Head.....

    Those "experiences" that we're so Inspirational to many.....

    I thought.... you bought that...You Are Sad!!!!!!

    Sargeant Pepper posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:20:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 33 of 43
    Joined 6/28/2009

    I've been on the assembly platform giving an experience. I can confirm 1st hand that it's all crap

    elderelite posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:34:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 1405 of 3229
    Joined 6/18/2010

    With respect to my drinking buddies, u r missing the point. Stillin seems to think his wife wants the "theocratic" fairy tale and thats why shes unhappy after assemblies and such. Im saying my wife HAS the theocratic fairy tale,including husband who had parts on those very programs, and still was a bitch ALL the time!

    I repeat, to stillin more than any other, "good marriages are not based on the cult. Your wife still wouldnt b happy even with that life".....

    Dont accept less from her.... Build your relationship as best u can, get counsling if she will go. The cult will never lead to happiness.

    No Room For George posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:50:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 948 of 1758
    Joined 4/25/2011

    With respect to my drinking buddies, u r missing the point. Stillin seems to think his wife wants the "theocratic" fairy tale and thats why shes unhappy after assemblies and such. Im saying my wife HAS the theocratic fairy tale,including husband who had parts on those very programs, and still was a bitch ALL the time!

    I repeat, to stillin more than any other, "good marriages are not based on the cult. Your wife still wouldnt b happy even with that life".....

    Dont accept less from her.... Build your relationship as best u can, get counsling if she will go. The cult will never lead to happiness.

    Sometimes reading your posts, and posts like StillIn's, make me happy I'm still single man and don't have to put up with that foolishness. I've got enough of my own BS, to put up with someone elses. By the way, I think Zid hit the nail and I didn't read her post or anybody elses, until after I posted which I have a habit of doing. That being, not readin the other posts until after I get my thoughts out as I'm prone to lose my thoughts fairly quick. I agree with you on good marriages not being based on the cult, and that his wife wouldn't necessarily be happy even with the ideal JW fantasy lifestyle. Heck, I think a good portion of people on this message board would have dysfunctional relationships regardless of the JW aspect.

    I think though, the JW lifestyle stresses marriages and family. It's hard enough making a living, and making relationships work, dealing with children, and other responsiblities such as the chores and maintenance that comes with owning property and a car. Then you throw into the mix all of the meetings, assemblies, and field service. Then the neverending nagging generated out of Bethel that one can never do enough for Jehovah. It's stressful. Heck I'm single and stressed than a mutha f#$#!! Couldn't imagine being married with kids and having to juggle the JW crap along with it.

    suspect that your wife is unhappy because she sees the disparity between the Watchtower Society's fairy tales and reality, but she sees it at a PRE-conscious or subconscious level.

    And can't admit to herself that it's all a lie. She's still striving - vainly - for that 'carrot-on-a-stick' that the Watchtower Society dangles in front of its members' noses. She hasn't caught that carrot yet, but she can't understand why. Or she refuses to allow herself to see the REAL truth - reality - that it's all a gigantic shell game - a con game that she's been suckered into...

    This makes a lot of sense to me, this I believe is how it begins. It wasn't but a couple years ago that I was frustrated and for the life of me couldn't articulate why I felt the way I did. At one point I even though maybe Jehovah's spirit wasn't upon me or something. It took this board and a couple other sites to get my brain started. Frustration is where it begins I believe, and StillIn's wife may be on her way.

    F FlyingHighNow posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:14:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 18413 of 21142
    Joined 9/27/2003

    I have observed that the jw way of looking at marriage sets both husbands and wives up to be bitterly disappointed in each other and marriage. They make marriage feel like a prison.

    just n from bethel posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:33:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 607 of 638
    Joined 2/20/2010

    just n from bethel posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:36:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 608 of 638
    Joined 2/20/2010

    and for george....

    Alfred posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:39:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 334 of 954
    Joined 9/10/2010

    My wife used to carry on after certain dramas (also on the way home) until one day I explained to her that the overly humble over-acting in these dramas is merely the unreachable bar that the WT sets for the rank and file to make them feel hopelessly inadequate in the eyes of God since they know all too well that no one is even remotely capable of behaving so perfectly in real life. Thank God she eventually snapped out of the trance...

    Nickolas posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:43:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 1814 of 2287
    Joined 9/27/2010

    I might do better with my wife if I were an UNBELIEVING HUSBAND!

    That's exactly where I am/she is. I'm an atheist, she's a Jehovah's Witness. We've been together almost 40 years, although both of us have shifted our world views considerably since we first got together. It's awkward sometimes, but me manage, as much as I'd like to help her see reality more clearly than she does. Gently offered advice, get over it or move on (or work toward changing your reality).

    Mr. Falcon posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:49:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 852 of 1298
    Joined 2/2/2011

    Mrs. Falcon is what I refer to as an agnostic JW, in the sense that she goes along with the traditions, but doesn't really think too deeply or care about the actual doctrine behind those practices. Like EE, I was that perfect demo guy, ready to run out the door to put out some theocratic fire like the tool I am. Got appointed like I was supposed to do.

    But then I grew a brain, a d*ck and a heart. Oddly, Mrs. Falcon hasn't noticed at all and she just continues to sit there, looking sexy.

    Hmmmm.... the rotgut whiskey must be kicking in. Shutting up now.

    elderelite posted Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:58:00 GMT(7/25/2011)

    Post 1407 of 3229
    Joined 6/18/2010

    Rotfl @ falcon

    I missed u man!

    LOL also at justin pics

    F jamiebowers posted Tue, 26 Jul 2011 00:06:00 GMT(7/26/2011)

    Post 5145 of 6387
    Joined 1/27/2007

    Stillin, maybe you should become completely inactive, including not driving your wife to the conventions. She may come to appreciate you for the pis poor brother she thought you were. If not, at least you wouldn't be there to be bitched at.

    EntirelyPossible posted Tue, 26 Jul 2011 00:21:00 GMT(7/26/2011)

    Post 731 of 5632
    Joined 3/20/2011

    Hmmmm.... the rotgut whiskey must be kicking in. Shutting up now.

    F. U. I have been sitting on a plane waiting to take off for 3 hours. Thank baby Jesus I am in first class and getting free Glenlivet. And don't shut up, I find you interesting and witty, not that I have a mancrush or anything.

    /maybe

      Close

      Confirm ...