Ever been the victim of gossip from JW's?

I was many times, the final bout was what drove me out of the borg altogether....

Always.... jealousy related inadequate elder!

Constantly saying this and that..... always untrue but came to a head when an older sister who was the mother of my friend asked my why she and her daughters were not welcome in my house anymore! She was like a mum to me so why would I say such a thing? Turns out it came from this inconsequent bread-roundsman! Makes a change from a window-cleaner!

Absolutely! The gossip in our congregation was terrible and constant. My whole family were victims.

This was the last straw for me too.  A snarky MS wife called me and ripped me a new one for something and while doing so, she said that the (too long ago, can't remember titles) Convention Overseer? had told her blah blah about me.  Now I knew of him and had met him, but I didnt' know him.  I guess that translates more likely to Mrs CO, but that distinction didn't matter because by then I had it figured out.  JW's didn't have the love they claimed proved they were god's people.  So as a parting shot I called one of the elders and told him exactly what she had done and said.  I'll give him credit, he was decent about it, I think he really cared if I came back or not.  His kids, however, were the first to shun my son, who had nothing to do with anything. 

Gossip was rampant in every single congregation I was ever involved in.  I never could figure out why they didn't deal with a gossiper as strongly as they did a smoker or other sin, after the warning continuing would show a pattern and unrepentance.  It was just one more power trip. 

One thing I will say, from a distance of almost 20 years away now, is that with the women being powerless, this is one way they could use some sort of power and be "better" than another.  The power structure inside that organization was ripe for passive aggressive power by the women.  I think its the only way some very intelligent women didn't go crazy.  Unfortunate, unhealthy, but understandable.

Hope they can all get out as we did.

Ada

Gossip was the single most damaging thing to my friends and family.

It drove my dearest friends from the congregation and threw my family into a tailspin that took them many years to get over.

It was all fueled by the most "spiritual" in the congregation - Pioneers, Elders and their children, etc......

Looking back, I just wish that I would have followed my friends out the door, instead of hanging on to the "TRUTH" 

My buddy and I were just discussing the whole situation a while back, since he has been there for me as I have been fading.

The gossip was the spark for them, then once the elder body protected themselves by scapegoating the families and "blacklisting" everyone to the CO and to Big Brother,  that was it for them.

Yeah I had a few rumors about me.  The elders actually put a stop to it in my case.  I listened to underground hardcore music quite a bit when I was younger so I got rumors that I was deeply immersed in Heavy Metal and as such was worshipping the devil.  I put the kaibosh on that when in a group talked about how much I hated glam 80's hair metal which everyone assumed was what heavy metal was.  I had a rumor about me having a prince albert (no idea how anyone would say they knew that one.  The last rumor that the elders killed off was that I was having sex with several different girls.  An elder and a ministerial servant followed me for the day, I ended up nearly calling the police on them because I saw them following me (my mom ran out and told them to leave because I was calling the cops), but they saw that I woke up, went to school, went back home, went to work, and went back home again.  This was the period where I told people I didn't believe anymore and no one was talking to me and I didn't have any worldly friends yet.  So literally I didnt' do anything but go to school and go home.

Ever been the victim of gossip from JW's?

You're only a victim if you allow yourself to be.

I was the subject of various rumors and gossip but I figured out pretty quick that I can't change how and what people think.  I learned to use such situations as a guide to who I could trust and who to avoid. 

If noting else, being a JW taught me to have a thick skin when it comes to being talked about and made fun of.  I experienced it both from the outside world mocking my religion and from inside the religion because I didn't always fit into a clique.

I do agree that the gossip mill in the JWs was especially hurtful to some however, because we were all supposed to be this one happy, united family and then shit storms would arise when people started gossipping. 

It's been so long ago, but I'm sure I was.  I know the way the elders handle things is so not good.  They have no idea how to approach and try to solve the problem of the victim.  No gray areas--you are either "in" or "out".  They don't read between the lines.  I am so glad I am out of this craziness.

Welcome to the board, BRichardson.

I'm sure most of us here are victims of car group gossip right as we speak.

Many times. JWs live to gossip, it's their fave pastime. All those WT/Awake articles warning about "hurtful tongues" etc. used to make me laugh because I knew no one was paying any attention.

I wonder if this is true of other tight, closed groups as well or if it is something in the JW "we are superior to everyone else" mentality?

Who hasn't been

Good answer WH *claps*

JWs thrive on gossip and slander. It's what they live for. It's all they have. Without it they would have no distraction from their own inadequacies. Many would probably kill themselves.

I was on the receiving end of gossip many times, but Undercover is right. You're only a victim if you allow it. I eventually stopped the problem by confronting the gossipers directly and publicly. It's a joy to see the liars squirm and cower when confronted directly.

I'm sure they continued to gossip about me, but they were a lot more careful about letting it get back to me.

Bottom line, who cares what they think? They're nothing.

W

Heck ya! I mean duh being a JW is boring and there is nothing better for them to do then to gossip. My grandma and her good friend had a problem with that... many pineers sitting in the car out inservice gossip tons. It's so anoying! And has caused alot of problems in the halls.

Agrees with Undercover. You're only a victim if you allow yourself to be and as someone pointed out, given the empty life of a die-hard JW, it is expected.

I was on the receiving end of gossip many times, but Undercover is right. You're only a victim if you allow it. I eventually stopped the problem by confronting the gossipers directly and publicly. It's a joy to see the liars squirm and cower when confronted directly.

Totally agree. I know people talked about me...but I didn't let it GET to me. Figure, if you are talking ABOUT me - you must ENVY something in me, so that's a compliment. Besides, I am the type that will step to someone and flat out confront them about what I heard...suffice to say word never got back to me after those instances! And those particular 'sisters' were nicely put in their place.

LOL @ The thread title! Great topic but... is the pope Catholic?!?!?! Anyone who says no was never a JW, or by some odd chance they never found out.

The RAMPANT gossip that was spread about myself and others (everyone) was one of the things that helped dislodge the death-grip that the organization had on my mind. And as is the norm, the WORST gossipers were always among the congregation "elite". It was the Elders, Elders wives, MS's, and pioneers.

I remember praying repeatedly about one Elder and his pioneer wife who were literally making up lies about me and many others. I was constantly begging Jehovah to do something about them and their abuse of their positions in the congregation. I had confronted this elder with a witness about the things he and his wife were saying about me, and he denied them of course... and continued to spread lies. So it came down to my word against his. Other Elders and people I respected who knew of the situation kept telling me to "wait on Jehovah", and be patient. "Jehovah allowes these things for a reason."

Nothing happened. He is still an Elder, and she is still a pioneer. They're the two most evil, vile, and despicable people I know. And I mean that.

Where is the so-called "bounteous love" that is supposed to be evident in the organization and make them so different? It doesn't exist. They're no different from the rest of humanity.

Never was a victim of gossip (as for as I know), but I am sure that is changing.

I don't think I'll apologize for being a victim, it got me out.  And though a healthy person or emotionally stable person wouldn't let themselves be a victim, not everyone was able to realize that was even a possibility.  Being raised in an abusive household where you were constantly verbally and physically abused, then marrying a verbally abusive spouse, I was told for my first thirty some years that I was pretty much lower than snail slime. The lessons in self esteem and self worth came later, as I learned that I have a right to be heard, I have talents, I am worthy as an individual.  The gossiping came during some of the lowest, most vulnerable parts of my life.  And I ended the marriage when I ended my tenure with the JWs.  Its been a life long journey ever since to understand or try to, how to interact with others, how to find healthy relationships, etc.

Thankfully we are all survivors, one way or another.

Ada