Do you regret confessing your sins to the elders?

Yes, I do! I did it 20 years ago, but the elders still remember what I did, sometimes I wish they never knew about it.

No pearls before swine in my opinion; never met an elder's body that didn't have some chatty cathy elder on it. 

Any grown man or woman who goes to an elder body & discloses things of an intimate nature are extreemly foolish in my opinion.

The thing that gets me is the parents of say an 18 year old daughter allowing their kid to sit in a room with 3 older men, 'confessing' things of a sexual nature.

It's just perverse.

After I have seen that the elders keep written reports and letters, and have seen them bring up things more then 40 years old I know better then to tell them anything.

If their Jehovah has a book of memory of the good that you do for him and the bad is put behind him to never be brought up again then why do they need to keep records? Because they do not have Jehovah's backing is what that tells me.

As far for the Elders I would like to tell them, "If you have an erection lasting more then four hours you should consault your doctor."

I never reported my "sins" to the hounders, since I already knew the answers they were going to give.  And I knew what scriptures they were going to use (out of context) to back up their position, and continually hound me to make sure I am taking the directives.

I only confessed once to them and was publicly reproved.  Will I confess any of my sins to them now? Highly doubt it! They do hold your past sins against you and use it to their advantage so as to keep from being "spiritually weak".

Agrees with Jambon.  I hear those closet freaks love tantalizing sex tales and if a female sits before a JC on a sex matter, they want her to be as detailed as possible. Very sick indeed!

I did it once and was privately counseled, not reproved at all. I don't recommend testing how much a relief in a windstorm they would provide, because they would fail miserably, from my experience.

I did it.  One of the most humilating things I ever did.  Then the elder wanted to know the man's name.  I said, you don't know him.  The elder said, "is his name Carlos?"  I said, "No"  He asked me that a couple of times. I think part of the reason I got df'd was because I wouldn't admit to "Carlos".

lisa

God do I ever!!! That one thing I think that changed my world all together! Geez I was so nieve!

I was taking it like they were counselors... but geez was I wrong. I been to counselors and know it's nothing like it. What you say effects their judgement on weither you are worthy enough to be a Jehovah's Witness! (to all the newbies on here) It's not right at all... You can't trust man!! That's a fact. You keep your secrets to yourself... if you know whats good for you, pray about them with God and make your ajustments. If you need to let out something do it in a safe envorment and someone looking out for your well being that you can trust!!

Mostly due to having been hauled in for a "library party" for someone else's fuck ups, I never confessed anything to the elders. If they felt it was acceptable to charge me with every crime that had ever been rumored about me even though I wasn't involved in the issue at hand, I had a pretty damn good idea what would happen if I told the truth or shared any questions with them. Seriously, they brought me in to ask about a situation I wasn't involved in and put the heat to me like I was on trial, WTF? I also had the advantage of having my dad being an elder, so I already knew these guys and how they thought and worked. Based on how well the masturbation talk went with dad when I was 12, I made sure to keep my mouth shut from there on.

Yes, when I had gone to the elders as a young teen for smaller things I thought it would help me progress spiritually and it backfired. I was forever considered bad association even when I was being very "good". I felt like I could never be great enough to please everyone. When I was 20 I went for a more serious matter and I felt revictimized but didn't realize that's what had happened until years later. They brushed certain serious things under the rug that had been done to me and yet asked me detailed questions that I find repulsive.

On the other hand, if I hadn't I might still be a witness and not as happy as I am now ;)

~fmy

Wow,all these experience's sure make you think...maybe my fade should speed up...TRUE BLUE,you sure are right.....My son was dsf many years ago,and they wont let him  make any progress.Maybe he will wake up...

I regret it!  They have no right to know my personal life!

very sad stuff, indeed. I thought owning up to my mistake would be the manly thing to do. Confession is good for the soul, get it off my chest and all that. Wrong. At least with this bunch here where I live, it was wrong, and now, listening to all of you, it seems to be wrong on a broad scale.

But it seems that there should actually be such a thing as a true friend. Even my wife can't handle any old mistakes. It's as though I had done them yesterday to her, and if she gets wound up really tight, I'll be hearing all about them all over again, just like the "society" and their file-keeping.

Whatever happened to confidential talk? I, for my part, have heard many a tale, including ones from elders personal lives, and I'll carry them quietly to my grave. I'm grateful that somebody loved and trusted me enough to talk. But then, it's not my JOB to listen.

I regret having anything to do with JW's but if I hadn't confessed and subsequently "witnessed" (sorry) how the elders are more concerned with details than anything else I wouldn't have left as soon as I did.

Absolutely. I think it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I thought I was doing the right thing, as we all did, but it was a huge mistake. I was reproved, and really probably should have been disfellowshipped because I wasn't sincere in being "repentant". It took me years to fully understand why I had made the choices I made, so being put in a situation where you are expected to demonstrate some kind of clear understanding of your reasoning and a course of immediate action isn't very natural. Talking about it with people who cared about my well-being was helpful to me in other settings, but the "back room" setting is nothing but noxious.

I was confessing adultery, and they asked that my husband be present since he was the spiritual "head". I think divulging the details of adultery in front of the victim is horrendous and I'll never understand why they thought that would be beneficial for anyone. I think this confession business hurt my ex-husband far more permanently than it hurt me. And I also think that certain elders have a prurient interest in the details, which is disgusting.

It's another case where uneducated men with little life experience are serving where trained professionals (or at least someone who actually cares for you) ought to be.

Not really.  I was a perfect JW until my early twenties.  Then became a "weak" double-lifer for a few years.  Then decided to really give it the old college try and lay it all on the line and let God's Hoooly Spirit course through my veins.  I went to them on my own terms, matter of factly told them a complete laundry list of various mortal sins I had committed all the way back to the puff on a cigarette I tried when I was an early teen.   I wanted to come back to Jehovah.  I was truly sincere and there was no need for any extra digging on their part since I laid it all out for them.

For me, it was a necessary part of my path out of the JWs.  I needed to know I had tried it "Jehovah's Way" (tm).  Too bad it took half a lifetime to see it for what it is.

om

 YES !          

Hi AST,

Just checking if you got my PM? :)

All the best,

Stephen

Chalam, I will send you PM soon. Thank you!