Armagedon delayed so we are planning babies at 37 years old!! Advice?

I was 34 with my first....40-1/2 with my third and last and I wouldnt trade it for anything.  I was READY and wanted them soooo badly. They came into a home with a mom who was mentally prepared for their arrival. I loved every minute of being pregnant...ok maybe not so much those labor pains LOL!

Get a basal thermometer.  Keep track of your days when you are most fertile.  The older you get the harder it is, in theory, to get pregnant so be patient and remember...practice makes perfect!! 

Wouldnt that be just the BEST revenge???

I am very sorry to be the one who is saying this, but... wasn't your wife having a very difficult time emotionally and psychologically very recently?  I'm sorry, but this does not bode well for an easy pregnancy.  Hormones can give even the most stable moms-to-be a real challenge. 

I presume she is doing better, and I am very happy for you both... but... have you both talked about this?

I do wish you both the best... and if you do choose to have a child... best wishes to all for a very healthy pregnancy for Mom and baby.

Love,
Baba.

Yes, it is a lifelong project.  But I do look forward in some ways for them to be independent and living on their own. Being financially independent is what I'm trying to say.

But for right now, we are living together harmoniously.  Actually, it's much better now than when my oldest was going through her horrible adolescent years.

I am going with Baba Yaga on this one...... I worry that your wife might not be up for the task of pregnancy, postpartum and everyday stresses (diapers, crying, attention required to progress baby's development, breastfeeding, your life becoming all things baby and of course lack of sleep and pre-baby spontaneous anytime sexual relations!) that occur when you are the primary provider of an infant/small child. Child safety (physical, mental and emotional) is paramount.  She needs to have a good support system too outside of you.

How is her paranoia doing? Is she still taking medication for the accident?  These are very important factors to consider.

As far as age..... 43 is the new 35 as far as women's fertility goes (pre- pre-natal nutrition is paramount to reduce down-syndrome in women 35+)

I know many "worldly" couples starting kids in their 40s!  Hubby (40) and I (35) are considering having 2 more in the next eight years too.

So if you really think this is a 'safe' choice for your wife, then have her start taking pre-natal vitamins 6 months prior to conception, eating extrememly healthy, water being her main beverage, and exercising properly for each stage (pre, natal and post) to keep up seratonin levels steady. Healthy bodies have higher chances of healthy babies.

If she is not 'ready', maybe spend the next year or two preparing to be ready. It will give her a goal to work toward and plenty of time to decide if it is a lifestyle she is up to maintaining.

This all said ....being a parent is very fulfilling. Children are delightful if you treat them as the delightful and wonderous individual creatures they are while maintaining firm boundaries that allow them to question but still know when to respect authority for their own benefit.

I agree with all that yknot has said about the stress and emotional demands of pregnancy and being the parent of an infant and child.

I would suggest some prenatal screening for both of you to make sure you are in the best physical, emotional and mental health possible. 

It isn't uncommon anymore for couples to delay having children until their mid-30s to early 40s.  I'd estimate that at least 1/3 of all first time mothers that I work with fall into this category.  Don't be offended if you overhear medical staff refer to your 35+ year old wife as an "elderly primip" or use the term "advanced maternal age" - they are archaic medical terms - and it takes forever to change archaic medical terminology.

On the plus side, you are likely a bit more financially stable and secure compared to a couple in their 20s and have more practice in communication skills than young couples that you can use in parenting (because I guarantee you will need them!)

On the down side, you may find that you have a harder time keeping up with active children.  Make sure you and your wife keep a resolve to stay fit and healthy to pass along those behaviours to your children.  It may also take a while to conceive for older couples, although that is not always the case.  As WuzLovesDubs said, enjoy the practicing, because it may be a while before you get any practice after the babies arrive!

Also, with regard to your wife's emotional state, be aware that a history of depression and psychosis puts her at very high risk of both postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis.  Educate yourselves about these conditions before embarking on a pregnancy, and know the warning signs of these illnesses.  Get help immediately if symptoms are noticed after delivery, do not wait and see.  As the husband (and father) you will probably be in the best position to identify changes in your wife's moods - someone in the midst of postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis will not recognize when they need help, they will often attribute the mood changes to sleep deprivation or feeling overwhelmed by the enormous transition from being independent women to being solely responsible for a vulnerable yet demanding infant.

"Responsible child bearing in the time of the end" a talk given in the 1987 DC - reposonsible for many us starting families later in life. What a load of BS.

She is doing well over the past 6 months...things are back to normal for us.  She is not on any medication.  I know this could be difficult, but sooner or later we will have to have a child.  She had temparary depression brought on by her back injury and stress.  Although it is a concern it may return, with support I hope she will be fine....she's taken going to take 7 weeks holiday to visit family overseas, so really when she returns we will try to have a baby.

Also we had an un-planned pregnancy and mis-carriage about 7 years ago...she's wanted a child for the last few years.

bless you, you think your old. i met a lady a few weeks ago who was 54 when i was born..... i`m 43.

go for it, you got a lot a living to do, my wife was 37 when she had our second child.

they are amazing, dont be scared of trying to be happy  none of us know when the times up.

i wish you well on your journey.....enjoy it because.... where here for a good time not along time xxx

...... then the only further advice is the following recomendations

Bottles.... Adiri when not breastfeeding, a bit pricey but transitions well without causing nipple confusion and less chance for air bubbles. It was the only bottle my kids could latch when hubby wanted to do some feeding. Since your wife has a higher disposition for depression I would suggest a having your child both breastfeed half the time and use a formula should she need to return to medication.  Encourage your wife to breastfeed as it releases feel good chemicals along with an enhanced bonding process.  Breastfeeding is not an automatic so be prepared to discuss ahead of time with you doctor, lactation consultant, doula or midwife about having a 'nipple shield' that is place on the nipple and has a bottle like tip to reach deeper into the baby's mouth for latching. For many women it will take a week or two using the device (starting the latch device then removing mid-feeding to bare-breast) before the baby learns to latch-on by him/herself......Yes babies make breasts a non-sexual topic !!!!

Breastpumps.... WhisperWear (I cannot explain how much better they are then anything else!...... they are slipped into your bra and you are free to go anywhere, I even went to the store and no one could tell I was pumping  !!!!)

Baby Bath..... Spa Baby Tub (I wish I had this when mine were infants!....Everyone in my family who has one raves about them)

Baby Carrier..... OTHBH (Over the Should Baby Holder) or similar. They last until the child is 3-ish. I still get plenty of mileage out of the one I bought 10 years ago (used both kids) when I am caring for a little one. I have never met a child of carrying age who didn't love it..... and it is a total back saver too! Babies and small children thrive on human contact and do better when 'held' more then not.

Toilet training..... There was once a world without pampers! Toilet training starts way before a child's body is able to control itself too. Whether you just place them (3 months)on the toilet and flush to get them used to the sound or do 'ec' eliminaiton communication.  We did part-time EC since I was a stay-at-home mom but we were in 'training pants' much quicker and by the time they reached their personal readiness (18months-30 months average) all was done without a moment of frustration.

Airplane travel/ stroller/carseat..... we found the Sit-n-Stoll by Lilly Gold to be the best. (and dare I say it...... it is meeting/Assembly/DC perfect too) The 5 in1 last from newborn to 40lbs. They are durable and we still use our original (bought a decade ago) for when I am watching JW or family kiddos.

There of course are ton's of books about child development. We did a 'lesser' version (as in I didn't do it 'gung-ho' but still included daily excercises) of Glenn Doman's "Gentle Revolution" coupled with American sign-language. I was exposed to Doman's program by my stepmom who used their program for brain-injured kids in her occupational therapy practice .My children communicated, walked, talked, read, wrote, and a whole bunch of things ahead of their peers as a result of using his repetition techniques..... 

 When you start giving baby solids, make it yourself. Baby food is the easiest to prepare! You cut down on the preservatives too compared to store bought pre-packaged stuff.

Okay now here on some links to the things I mentioned..... (australian when I can find a link)

adiri---- http://www.adiri.com.au/

nipple shields---  http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/breastfeeding-devices

pump--- Check with The Australian Breastfeeding Assoc. http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/default.htm (or ebay!)

bath--- http://www.spababytubs.com/

carrier--- http://www.babyholder.com/

Airplane stroller/ carseat---- not in Aussieland but sold in NZ http://www.thepod.co.nz/outlet.html , here is the main company too http://www.lillygold.com/sns.html

toilet--- for the EC thing http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/australia.htm?&MMN_position=33:33, for the toilets they tend to favor http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/pottylinks.htm?&MMN_position=119:94

Child development program (again I used it more as a template) http://www.gentlerevolution.com/ (but I would check your local library too)

The above is usually what I give as baby shower gifts (that and diapers towers!)

I wish yall all the best in creating a healthy family, post pictures when he/she arrives! ((sorry for yall's previous loss, we have been there too))

i had my 4th at 38...
at 53 i am doing driver's
ed with him!!!!

man has life been interesting
on account of him....

My dad was 50 and his wife was 41 when their last kid was born.