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i was born into a violent abusive JW family

    F ania posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:03:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 1 of 79
    Joined 9/12/2006

    The abuser was my father, we were all (7 children) abused severely (including our mother) as a child i did not understand what exactly was going on but after many years of councelling and so-forth (my counceller tells me, my case is the most severe she has had in her 12 years as a counceller) i discovered that my father was (is) a sado-masichist. He got sexual enjoyment from beating us all. I already knew this to an extent i just never realised there was actually a name for what he got out of it.

    after 20 odd years of this abuse, my mother had tried to go through the right channels (the elders, in several congregations we moved to etc) in order to get permission to take her children and live separate to her husband who was a constant threat to our very lives (he was a diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic & incrediably unpredictable) She was however told time and again that if she left her husband she and her unbaptised children (under 18) would most certainly lose out on everlasting life. We left temporarily many times & lived in refuges but after 2 months we had to find our own home & move out of the refuge it was then that my mother would pack us up & take us back to the monster.

    Finaly one day a man whom my mother had been studying with visited the refuge (my sister had told him we were there) he took us to a lion safari park and brought us lunch. When our time was up at the refuge my mother told us that this man was living alone in a big house (he had been through divorce & his family weren't speaking to him) and had offered us to live there with him. At this time my mother had no relationship with him, he was just showing kindness (and probably a little lonely). My mother was disfellowshipped shortly after we moved in.

    My father then moved into a caravan on the front lawn of my sisters property and when i visited i saw him treating my little niece (4 yrs old) the same way he had treated me (abusing her) to make matters worse my niece had a condition of the spine which rendered her speachless (she coul not speak only make noises) i couldn't stand to see her being treated like this so... my eldest sister (then 21 yrs old) and myself (11 yrs) went to the police and filed a complaint of sexual abuse (she had actualy been raped) against our father.

    The witnesses were not shunning us at that time (only my mother) as my sister had never been baptised (kicked out of home at 13 yrs old) and i was a child. After the allegations had been made & investagations (by the police) were underway however we were shunned on the street. Unfortunately the case was eventually (after 2 yrs of investagation & multiple statements) abolished and discharged due to a lack of witnesses . None of the rest of the family were willing to colaborate with us on the case as they said they wanted the past to be left in the past. My mother told me she never knew (about the sexual abuse) she just thought we were getting beaten. Yet many years later she informed me that "HE" had told her that he got off on beating us (but thats another story).

    I am now 33 yrs old and have just been told that HE (re-married many years ago) is not only still a practising witness but an ELDERin his congregation. He is fostering children who are removed from abusive homelives and are placed in the care of welfare and also works for Barnados (an organisation set up for taking in-home care of preschoolers who's parent is on a benefit and part-time working).

    my mother went to the authorities over this and was told that when the police check was done on him a red flag was beside his name but that it said he was not convicted the case was inconclusive etc etc.

    At the moment my councelloer is helping me to write a letter to the authorities regarding this...

    Gill posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:09:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 2898 of 6034
    Joined 11/4/2004

    (((( Ania )))) OMG! I'm just astonished at how much you have suffered, and your mother and siblings.

    I hope that you will be able to get the authorities to listen to you soon and that your counsellor can help you to do this.

    If all else fails go to the press.

    I hope that you are now getting all the help that you could possibly need.

    All the best and hope to hear far more from you soon!

    Gill

    F jgnat posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:10:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 10301 of 23624
    Joined 7/4/2002

    I am really mad at the authorities for ignoring the red flag. The government could be sued, successfully, by the foster children and the parents of these children.

    Is it possible for you to collect the names and contact information of every child who has come in contact with this man?

    I won't call him your father. He is not anything near the definition of a father.

    F jgnat posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:13:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 10302 of 23624
    Joined 7/4/2002

    You may also want to contact Kimberlee Norris, who posts here under CONCERNED LAWYER. She is working on a class action suit against the Watchtower Society.

    http://www.lovenorrisattorneys.com/firm.htm

    F ania posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:32:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 2 of 79
    Joined 9/12/2006

    jgnat- thanx very much for that information i will check it out. i live in NZ so the laws and channels r probably qute different here i would think

    Gill-thanx thas given me an idea i hadn't thought of b4 i could go to the press

    F lovelylil posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:33:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 1096 of 3608
    Joined 4/12/2006

    (((ania))),

    So glad to have you here and thanks for sharing your story. You are very couragious as is your sister and mother. What a sick person your father is! I can sympethize for although my father was Catholic, he sounds eerily similiar to yours. We found out after 20 years of abuse my dad had extreme mental and emotional problems. He was abusive to the family up until he died a few years ago. Some may think I am terrible for saying this, but the family was kind of relieved when he finally died. We know he cannot hurt us any longer.

    I am glad you are in therapy. That will help a lot. And please keep us up to date with what happens to you father and about his fostering kids. I cannot believe that authorities are not taking your allegations more seriously. Don't they realize even if he is again abusing kids, which he probably is, many suffer in silence and do not report it? I cannot believe it, and that makes me really angry.

    Please contact that person jgnat gave you the link too. The WT is just as much to blame as they not only did not protect your family but they made the situation worse by Df'd your mother. That amounts to pure emotional and spiritual abuse.They are so EVIL!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, peace, Lilly

    F fullofdoubtnow posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:37:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 3030 of 5925
    Joined 10/24/2005

    ((((ania))))

    Welcome to the forum, you will find many kind and understanding people here, please stay with us.

    I am so sorry for all that you have been through, I hope that you are getting all the help you need now.

    love

    Linda

    M Dansk posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:45:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 4152 of 5190
    Joined 2/16/2003

    (((((((((Ania))))))))))

    WELCOME!

    You will derive much comfort here!

    Ian

    F MidwichCuckoo posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:52:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 1655 of 2814
    Joined 4/25/2005

    Welcome Ania. That's an amazing story - thankyou for sharing it. I think I'd be tempted to warn all parents in his Congregation.

    F ania posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 13:02:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 3 of 79
    Joined 9/12/2006

    lovelylil-thankyou for that, it's so sad that so many people around the world are victims suffering from abuse. That abusers are being sheltered by their different religeons and churches. I told my mother at one stage that i wanted to take the witnesses to court (for their part in harbouring child abusers and turning a blind eye) she was quite shocked and told me not to be silly i "wouldn't stand a chance".Thanx every1 for your welcomes It's nice to have visited this site and find that i and my family r not alone in the world. we r the lucky ones to have gotten out

    F shera posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 13:55:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 3590 of 3299
    Joined 8/25/2002

    Ania,

    ****hugs****

    Welcome.

    I am speechless....makes me so angry that this bulls*# t goes on in this world! Even thinking that a loving God would want these people to be protected(the abusers),for his own name. When do people need to protect god anyways? Makes no sense.

    F PeachRose posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 15:14:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 2 of 33
    Joined 9/11/2006

    OMG! You poor thing - I am so sorry for everything you, your mother and siblings went through! I hope the authorities take care of that so-called "elder".

    I wish you and your family happiness and peace with your life.

    All the best,

    M

    F mama1119 posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 18:27:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 468 of 1143
    Joined 3/21/2006

    Welcome. I am so sorry to read your story. What an awful man. I hope you stick around here, it can be very helpful to read others stories similiar to your own . Good luck on bringing it to the authorities...I hope they can help.

    F sf posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 6686 of 7516
    Joined 3/16/2001

    Thumbs up for speaking out!! {{{ Hugs of comfort }}}

    i couldn't stand to see her being treated like this so... my eldest sister (then 21 yrs old) and myself (11 yrs) went to the police and filed a complaint of sexual abuse (she had actualy been raped) against our father.

    BRAVO!!! More should do as you did.

    It is disturbingly ironic how the jws, who need two witnesses to a crime, would not be THAT, a WITNESS TO ABUSE.

    Action needs to be taken on this man. He must have a spotlight shining down on him for all to see and beware of.

    Please seek out Kim Norris. If there's anything I can do, PM me {upper left logon box} with his vital stats.

    Just because he wasn't convicted doesn't mean we do not bring awareness of him to our communities. There is much you can do in this area of awareness. I'm here to help.

    sKally

    M jambon1 posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 18:54:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 259 of 1008
    Joined 2/7/2006

    Welcome.

    Your father sounds like an unbelievable bastard.

    Please, please do all you can to fight against his position as a respected member of society as well as a JW elder. You may save many more little ones from his disgusting actions.

    Love and thoughts,

    J

    F sf posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 18:57:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 6687 of 7516
    Joined 3/16/2001
    ...fosters children...also works for Barnados (an organisation set up for taking in-home care of preschoolers who's parent is on a benefit and part-time working).

    http://www.barnardos.org.uk/

    F sf posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:05:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 6688 of 7516
    Joined 3/16/2001

    Here's the CONTACT US page for activism on this case:

    http://www.barnardos.org.uk/who_we_are/contact_us.htm

    It's important they realize how much they are a part of his problem by hiring him, even after knowing the accusations. TELL THEM YOUR STORY. That you lived an abusive life with him. Tell them who you are and who your father is. Demand, for all those children in his foster care, they do a solid background check on him.

    Impress upon them how insane it is to take the risk of allowing him near ANY children and that they will be just as responsible if and WHEN he strikes again.

    This is what I intend upon stressing to them.

    Your comments and outrage are only an email and/ or phone call away.

    sKally

    F love2Bworldly posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:18:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 970 of 1475
    Joined 4/1/2005

    Welcome--so sorry about you and your family's suffering.

    The JWs make me literally sick to my stomach when I read stories like yours, where they make abused people stay in those situations and do nothing about the abuser.

    M freetosee posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:24:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 372 of 1318
    Joined 5/2/2006

    Hi Ania and welcome, it is always sad to hear about all this abuse happening to so many. Actually it makes me angry to read what your father did. My father was a violent fanatic, but nothing in comparison to yours. We should do all we can to protect victims using our knowledge about the jw-org. I am happy you got out and realized how messed up some those people are, claiming to be the only true servants in the only clean organisation of god. All the best for you, freetosee

    F Legolas posted Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:27:00 GMT(9/12/2006)

    Post 4588 of 4498
    Joined 7/11/2005

    Welcome to the board!

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