Does your JW family exhaust you?

I’ve kind of been lurking on this website for a month and I’ve decided to introduce myself so a little background. I was born and raised JW at about the age of sixteen I started to have doubts about my mothers chosen religion (dad is not JW) so started to do some research and decided it wasn’t for me. My mothers still at me about going back though. So both my sisters are out and my brothers still in along with his wife and child.

So to the question above I love my mother and brother don’t get me wrong but sometimes when I spend time with them I leave these encounters so tired that I feel like I could sleep for days. My sisters tell me I’m being to sensitive that mother and brother aren’t going to change and I should just let it go. Does anyone else get like this? Am I being to sensitive like my sisters say?

Well, what about it exhausts you?  If it is because you are trying to talk them out of their beliefs then I am inclined to agree with your sister.  Let them live their lives believing what they believe, just as you expect them to let you live yours believing what you believe.  If you are exhausted because they are always trying to talk you into coming back then I would say you are not being too sensitive at all.  It can be exhausting to feel like you always have to justify your choices and who you are. 

Jackie

I can be overwhelmed by my parents when they start pushing me to return. They are, at times, so intent on 'saving' me that they don't see that I don't need to be saved. The Witness instinct is to convert constantly. My mother especially lays the guilt trips on me. I.e. "I don't want to watch you and my precious grandsons die at Armageddon" and "you know it is the truth, you just don't feel worthy" or my fave "can't you remember how much you enjoyed pioneering? You were so zealous"

It has gotten better in time, but it takes a lot of patience from you. I had such a hard time not exploding with all of the information I found about JWs. I knew that I would destroy any chance of maintaining a relationship with them if I went crazy with the real truth about their truth. It is worth slugging through it, though. I didn't think a loving relationship could develop when I was forced to restrain my thoughts and feelings, but my folks and I are getting closer and avoid religious discussions at all costs.

Hope this helps. Hang in there and come on here to vent when you need to so it is easier to deal with the pressure with them.

Angie

Welcome to the board, Lucy:)

I tell you, when I'm with my mom, I cannot breathe! She will nag me to death about all things JW: service, meeting attendance, showing proper respect to her, etc. If I tell her that I don't want to talk about something, she thinks I said that I want to hear more about it. Nag nag nag. It drives me batty!

  LUCY A- Welcome to the board ! You are among friends. Yes- Some of my JW family exhaust me- especially the ones who try to manipulate me by their odd reasonings on things. Or if they try to " guilt " me into going back to meetings - it can get trying sometimes. I just switch the conversation onto a non-witness topic like the weather or family stuff or the latest movie I've watched. ANYTHING but JW topics. You might try this and see what happens !  Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Thanks everyone

Silence I long ago realised that you cant force somone to see what they dont want too and my mothers been in to long to bother trying.

Yes.

It is exhausting to constantly be thinking of topics to talk about that will not offend them.  I can't talk about Christmas.  I can't talk about my church activities.  I can't talk about my daughter's Christian school.  I can't talk about my older daughter's mission trip to Cambodia. I can't talk about many of the movies I have watched.

I do  not want to hear any preaching from them. I don't want to hear about their assemblies or meetings or field service. I don't want to hear about how the family found "the truth".   And since my mother died I have been vocal about this so I don't hear from them anymore and I don't care.

In my case I am not talking about immediate family.  It's all aunts and uncles and cousins.  And I don't care if they are in my life or not.  We have nothing in common.

Oh I hear you, avoiding the elephant in the room is a difficult thing.

It's so much easier around non-Witnesses, isn't it? You don't have to guard everything you say for fear of triggering a spew of Witnessing or offending them by mentioning some normal thing everyone else does but they don't.

Don't push them...the worst thing to do it is to attack JW's faith. Just let it go, or try small things, one at a time if you wanna help them. Other wise is a waste of time. They are the ones that have to realize that they are living in the WT's Matrix

At times it can be a tad stressful, usually because I am tryinG NOT to get into an argument.

On Sunday we were at the beach and my Mom and Sister were talking with some of their "spiritual" brothers and sisters about someone in their congregation and one of the sisters asks." Is she in the truth?", to which my sister replies, Of course not" ( I assume because she was not being a proper JW), but my mom says, "She is in the truth, but the truth is not in her".

*rolles eyes*

You know, I can be very judgemental about many things, things that I am QUALIFIED to be judgmental about, but in regards to whether someone is in in "the truth" or in regards to someones salvation, I think that is best left to the only person qualified to judge, Jesus.

I just got up and took my kids to the water to build a sand castle, its just to draining to argue sometimes.

it exhausts them at times.........I take no prisoners in annoying witness relatives

true story....last week my mother in law was up at our house....she was going on about a documentary on catholic priests and paedophilia.....

I asked her....."have you ever heard of silent lambs"?....she said...."is that a book"?.....honest!!!....I'm sure she was thinking of "silence of the lambs"

I said ...."no it's a website"....and then my wife said......"it's a website talking about Jehovah's witnesses".............he he

                                                      annoy the hell out of the culties...it's our duty

I only had 2 JWs in my family. I divorced one and the other died a couple of years ago. Yes, they were exhausting. I wasn't trying to get them out of the cult. I just wanted them to quit nagging me to go back. As long as I had some peace and quiet I didn't care if they kept going. They weren't content with that. JWs never are.

W

hey FF ...are you telling us....you killed one of them?

if you did.....I just want you to know.....i understand bro.....and I WILL HELP YOU TO HIDE THE BODIES........he he

White Dove:

Du skall bestämt be henne att hålla upp, även om hon blir sint. Min mor gjorde precis detsamma i ca 10 år; ett konstant jävla mas och tjat hela tiden. En dag frågade jag henne; tycker du att din taktik fungerar? Hon tänkte efter: nä..det gör du ju inte. Då sade jag att om man har en taktik som bevisligen inte fungerar - då måste man skifta taktik. Detta var för ca 5-6 år sedan. Efter det har hon varit helt tyst och aldrig tjatat om Jehova eller sällskapet.

Lycka till, jag vet att det är svårt, men det går om man är konsekvent och bestämd.

I didn't read the  whole thread, but yes they do and that's why I keep spending time with them to a minimum.  You can't have a decent conversation with them without hearing about the ministry, convention, special talk, how much they love jehoova god, blah, blah blah blah blah!

Hey everyone how's it going?

nj

Hey Nj, where ya been girlfriend?

On topic:  I try to keeping any interaction with my parents (jws til the day they die) to a minimum.  Everytime I see them they do something to disrepect my hubby.  I'm done.

Thanks everyone

Just a Follow Up Question. How do you keep contact to a minimum Without being disrespectful?