How many of you have had these in your congregation?

Brother Dirtbag,

The one that stinks like butt, has greasy hair, NEVER brushes let alone flosses his teeth that would stand in the back of the hall picking his nose!!

EEEUUUWWWWW.........

My mother is Sister Armageddon.  When she came over for dinner on Thanksgiving, soon as she walked into the house we started talking about the weather and the strong cold front that was heading this way.  She got all excited and said, "That's never happened before has it?"  I just said "No, Armageddon is not coming."

Anytime any thing happens she thinks it means Armageddon is here.  She's in her 80s and doesn't remember stuff from one day to the next but she never forgets Armageddon.

I'm GREG!

Sister Gossip:

- there was a surfeit of her in every congregation that I was ever with. In fact my first introduction to such persons when I started attending meetings.

Sister Coquette:

Yes, we had one of those!

She was tamed, though -  married a close friend of mine, and they are still together 36 years later.

Brother Smart:

I was just thinking of him only the other day:

 - he was a guy who had been appointed an elder while still extremely young. Because HE was an elder and the rest of us weren't, he took it for granted that that fact meant he automatically knew more about everything than we did. Furthermore, he didn't hesitate to let everyone know this!

(In one congregation I was with, though, one of the elders was extremely intelligent - with an IQ level shared by only 5% of the population. This person was also extremely humble, and certainly did not go about advertising his intelligence).

Brother or Sister Daft,

Our congregation's "territory" included a large psychiatric hospital, and as a result (sadly), we had more than our share of these.

Bill.

We had brother and sister Scrounger. Neither worked but both pioneered. Lunch was always at yours never theirs, their car never had petrol so they always needed picking up for field service and meetings although actually the car was a gift from someone! Rented property temporarily  so always on the look out for spare rooms and sofas to kip on. Always managed an annual holiday somewhere hot though!

Oh yes - had these two.

Sister Armageddon = My Mrs!

Brother "anything you can do, I can do better".

:How many of you have had these in your congregation?

:

• Brother Smart: The serious brother who thinks that he is an intellectual and believes he is "smart"
• Sister Armageddon: The sister who says "Armageddon!!!" after any little thing in the news
• Chase: The little boy who is always running around and crawling under the seats no matter what the parents say
• Johnny: The little boy who keeps on leaving his snot on the sides of the bathroom stall
• Brother Squeaky: The one in charge of cleaning who tells everyone what to do, but just stands there and converses
• Sister Coquette: The congregation slut... or as close to a slut as she can get... flirting with every brother... oh yeah and she was raised in the "truth"
• Brother Borrow: The brother who owes everyone money... and still asks to borrow from others
• Greg: The boy or girl whose parents are so restrictive that the kid can't watch anything higher than G-rated movies
• Stormy: The teenage boy or girl who you could bet does stuff behind the scenes, so to speak

Different Hall, same people, 35 years difference in time.  Same shit I saw.   Doctrines change.  People don't change.

Nothing has changed but dub doctrine.  LOL!  Good one!

Farkel

We had a Brother Dirtbag in one cong,he was a single pensioner who came to the meetings,I think his baptism was the first time he had touched water for years,there was bits floating in the pool afterwards..................his name,I kid you not was..................Albert Ross.

Think about it.

Yes I know many of these plp & damit, many of them in my family LOL

I can't believe we forgot Sister Elderette. Offically a wife of an elder, unoffically thinks she is in charge of the KH and the entire social secne. If you cross her or, she doesn't think you do enough, you never get invited to parties no matter who is giving them.

Brother polyester: wearing the same brown suit and yellow tie combo to blend  with his yellow teeth.

Bwahahahaha!!! The polyester suit.....oh Lord how many of those did I see!! Oh and plenty of experience with the "elderettes" Don't even get me started on that one........

Mrs. Peck, 

how about sister allergy

I had a good friend who was a Sister Allergy, and so were several of her children. She told me once how perfume at the Kingdom Hall put her into such bad convulsions that she ripped the shoulder seams on a good silk blouse and ended up in the hospital, only to have other sisters gossip that she was "doing it for the attention."

Hers was a pretty good congregation, though: they implemented a no-scents policy at meetings and started a book study for severe environmental allergy sufferers - there were about 4 or 5 families in the congregation who attended.

gently feral

We had all the aforementioned categories except Johnny, Squeaky and Borrow.

How about brother rising star? Baptized at age 10, pioneer at age 14, did not go to college, MS by age 20 and elder at age 25. Is a freelance cleaner, married after promoted to MS with a good looking but also insanely zealous pioneer sister. Some of them get promoted to CO, special pioneer, or get gobbled up by Bethel. I know about 10 of these brothers, one is now a CO at age 32. They always live in a crappy old apartment in a bad neighborhood, but on the inside the house looks perfect and is filled with the most modern equipment (all gifts). Usually they are immaculately groomed control freaks. They either have a crappy old car, or a brand new leased van (being a freelance cleaner and all). They're always born-ins and have elder dads.

When they have a part or comment all they can speak of is doing more in FS, studying more and commenting more, and listening to the FDS. For CA or DA they help clean on friday, get a gazillion volunteer jobs and arrive each day at 6 am and don't leave until they are the last one left.

When you observe them you get the feeling they have zero joy in their life. If you meet them, at first they are nice but once they notice you are not zealous enough the contact dies off.

And the young "suckup brother"who attatched himself to one of the elders,like a Robin to a Batman.And the ones,male or female who smelled soooooo bad when they stood up to sing or pray,that you always tried to sit far far away.

Yay! ...I have known them all, in about 6 congos ...life is the same wherever you are....

Sub species could be 

Sister Hypochondriac....always full of her complaints (poor soul, but becomes tedious when she goes on and on.....) "Thats why we need the New World"

Sister Matriarch....strong assertive type who has a trio of satellites who follow her like she was The Messiah

Bro...."The end is really close now"...in every comment